Page 18 | To think a lot of people regret having kids but are too ashamed to say it?

ThatDenimLurker · 2025-06-13T10:22:29+00:00

You can love your child and still mourn the life you gave up.

Nodealordeal · 23/02/2026 14:53

Strawberriesandpears · 22/02/2026 22:18

You already commented numerous times on this thread last time around so I am not sure why you have resurrected it 8 months later.

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It’s possible she has name changed since last time and thought her new name would show up rather than the old one so it wouldn’t look like the same person answering again! But MN changed it a while back so you couldn’t post under different usernames on the same post.

Barnbrack · 23/02/2026 15:00

ThatDenimLurker · 13/06/2025 11:35

Fair enough. I don’t have hard data but it feels like more people are quietly carrying that feeling than we admit. Maybe not full-blown regret but a sense of loss or mourning for the life they didn’t get to live. I think the pressure to only ever say parenting is rewarding makes it harder for those mixed feelings to surface.

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I disagree, I actually think there are a lot of places online where belittling what it is to be a parent is the trendier way. It's almost unusual to hear anyone outwardly state they enjoy parenting without accusations of being a competitive parent or whatever

RJ2025 · 23/02/2026 15:10

Strawberriesandpears · 23/02/2026 12:51

No of course not. It's just you were quite argumentative and unable to listen to any other points of view last time around and it's quite obvious you have dug out this thread and bumped it back up so that you can start again with similar arguments 8 months down the line. I can see right through that, so this will be the last time I am engaging with this conversation.

Huh???? Why on earth would I intentionally resurrect an old post? What would I possibly have to gain from that? When I posted recently I didn’t even realise it was an old thread or in fact that I had already commented on it? If I had wanted to continue the conversation I would have started my own post

RJ2025 · 23/02/2026 15:12

Nodealordeal · 23/02/2026 14:53

It’s possible she has name changed since last time and thought her new name would show up rather than the old one so it wouldn’t look like the same person answering again! But MN changed it a while back so you couldn’t post under different usernames on the same post.

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If I had something to say I wouldn’t be hiding behind a different name - why would I? What would I have to gain from that?

Strawberriesandpears · 23/02/2026 15:50

RJ2025 · 23/02/2026 15:10

Huh???? Why on earth would I intentionally resurrect an old post? What would I possibly have to gain from that? When I posted recently I didn’t even realise it was an old thread or in fact that I had already commented on it? If I had wanted to continue the conversation I would have started my own post

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Probably the same little nasty kicks you got last time from saying that people without children and more likely to experience their relationship breaking down etc.

The thread was buried 8 months deep in the AIBU board which is very busy, so clearly you've actively sought it out.

Anyway, this really is the last I have to say on here.

KimberleyClark · 23/02/2026 16:46

Strawberriesandpears · 23/02/2026 15:50

Probably the same little nasty kicks you got last time from saying that people without children and more likely to experience their relationship breaking down etc.

The thread was buried 8 months deep in the AIBU board which is very busy, so clearly you've actively sought it out.

Anyway, this really is the last I have to say on here.

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I suppose it might have shown up in a “similar threads” list. I think a lot of old threads get resurrected because of that.

Goldenbear · 23/02/2026 16:47

No, I don't think so, a small minority probably.

RJ2025 · 23/02/2026 16:52

Strawberriesandpears · 23/02/2026 15:50

Probably the same little nasty kicks you got last time from saying that people without children and more likely to experience their relationship breaking down etc.

The thread was buried 8 months deep in the AIBU board which is very busy, so clearly you've actively sought it out.

Anyway, this really is the last I have to say on here.

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So because I don’t have the same opinion as you you think I am getting nasty little kicks out of resurrecting an old thread??! I have better things to do with my time than seek out old posts thank you - why would anyone do that with such an old thread? It happened to show up - I never looked at the date when I replied and I never didn’t recognise the title - sorry to disappoint you!!

Thechaseison71 · 23/02/2026 16:55

ParentingHard · 13/06/2025 11:28

Personally yes I do regret having kids but it’s more if I knew what my life would be like I wouldn’t have had any children so whilst I do love them if I had my time again I would be child free.

Same here. Would've been a lot easier.

Nice to have them as adults though

Strawberriesandpears · 23/02/2026 17:04

RJ2025 · 23/02/2026 16:52

So because I don’t have the same opinion as you you think I am getting nasty little kicks out of resurrecting an old thread??! I have better things to do with my time than seek out old posts thank you - why would anyone do that with such an old thread? It happened to show up - I never looked at the date when I replied and I never didn’t recognise the title - sorry to disappoint you!!

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Oh please don't be sorry - I can absolutely live with the disappointment!

Sunshinebound99 · 23/02/2026 17:06

I don’t currently regret having my son. I adore him. But he’s extremely hard work and also one of the most amazing people I know. Mixed bag of feelings but no regret

UnhappyHobbit · 23/02/2026 17:30

JHound · 13/06/2025 11:36

I am not sure it’s a “lot” but then I hear some of the stories my social worker family members share….

I can only imagine the horror stories. There are some vile people out there and I will never understand why they decide to have children.

MindYourUsage · 23/02/2026 17:44

Guardian12 · 13/06/2025 11:38

I’m sure this is true for some, but I also think some people romanticise child free life and think things would continue the way they did when they were in their late twenties/ early thirties. I didn’t have a child until I was 40 due to infertility, and being child free heading into middle age was a lot different to when I was younger.

Agree. My siblings have kids and now my mum needs help guess who the lion's share is falling to...

Childfree life isnt always endless last minute holidays and cocktail parties...

JHound · 23/02/2026 18:34

MindYourUsage · 23/02/2026 17:44

Agree. My siblings have kids and now my mum needs help guess who the lion's share is falling to...

Childfree life isnt always endless last minute holidays and cocktail parties...

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Agree x2 (although my siblings with kids actually help my parents more but my parents are fairly young still.)

I am childless as opposed to childfree. Childless at 25 and childless at 45 are two completely different experiences. At least from a mental / emotional viewpoint.