If you have young adults living at home, what does their rent cover?

[Brunocatmon]

My ds is 21, almost 22. He's worked in hospitality his whole working life ( he started work 2 days after he turned 16 ).

Recently he changed jobs to a more secure job with decent contracted hours with more regular pay than before.

Ds's gf ( same age, 21) also lives with me.

Then I have dd who is 14.

The 2 young adults pay rent. £200 a month. This is all in.

In a couple of weeks my eldest dd (30) , her fiance, and 2 dc are moving in from overseas until they find themselves a house to buy. Realistically this could be a good few months.

Dd ( 18) is also moving back in from overseas.( she lives with them at)

I was talking to eldest dd and she said so if we give you X rent then we'll get groceries but if people want expensive extras they get it themselves is that OK?

I said their rent is inclusive of groceries unless expensive treats etc.

It just got me wondering. If your adult dc pay rent what does it include?

@BeachLife2

what if continuing to have your adult offspring live with you meant you couldn’t afford meals out because your bills were higher? Should you just suck it up and have no social life?

🙄🙄🙄beachLife2

When my adult DS lived at home before moving into his own home he paid £300 pcm. This included a very large room with double bed, desk 2 seater sofa, TV , coffee table area. Exclusive use of his shower room next door. Ridiculously fast internet speed for his gaming, DH and I have a much slower speed now for us. Sky TV including Sky Movies, Sky Sport and TNT, Amazon Prime for TV and free parcel delivery, Disney +, Netflix, his mobile phone contract as was as much as he can use internet and included with internet package and DH and I only use a small amount so more sense letting him have it, all food, washing powder etc. and some toiletries. If he wanted specific toiletries he got his own but if he used Dove for men or a 2 in 1 shampoo like DH he could take bottles of that to use himself too. Help himself to beer, cider or wine from fridge and other general alcohol and mixers in house so Captain Morgan rum, vodka etc. and all electric, gas and water. All we asked was that he cooked for family once a week, unloaded shopping and put away, emptied main kitchen bin into black bin outside every other day and did his own laundry but not Saturday morning as that's when I do our bedding and to look after cats and dogs when we go on holiday and in return we looked after his 2 cats for him. We still do the reciprocal pet sitting. It worked for all of us. DS felt he got a good deal and could save a lot towards his deposit. We felt DS understood the cost of bills and food and never moaned about doing his share of chores. Sometimes he'd load or unload dishwasher too if he was waiting for coffee machine. Once he moved out we noticed our electricity use almost halfed, our water bill was much reduced, gas more or less the same, we moved to a slower internet package and cancelled Disney +. He still comes over for dinner most Wednesdays as lasagne night and he invited me over for a meal with him about once a fortnight. He goes out with DH about once every 4-6 weeks for a curry or cinema. I go out for a breakfast with him about once every 2-3 weeks. I love the fact he only lives a couple of miles away from us and we see him often.

That's a good idea.

My adult dc pay 400 per month each, it's not rent, it's a contribution to the bills and includes food. I wouldn't have partners though, that's a step too far for me.

I really don’t understand taking “rent” money from DC but then saving it for them - that’s just infantilising them.

Adult working DC should definitely be paying their own way in terms of costs to have them there (and what that is will differ between families), but it would be better to put a condition that they save a certain amount rather than mummy and daddy doing it for them.

@BlueyNeedsToFuckOff But how do you make them save if they won’t? I see lots of people saying this but do you demand to see a bank statement every month and kick them out if they’re not saving? I’m genuinely at a loss as to how I can force my DD to save. She just won’t. (I do agree about the infantilisation though. I wouldn’t save for her because she refuses to save for herself).

Our youngest, 22, pays £100 pcm for utilities and buys his food.

How big is your house?😁

(Cooks tasty food for us, too. Saving for house deposit, doing incredibly well with that.)

When I lived at home and worked, my parents took half of my pay. I am not sure if that as fair or not. When I went to uni, they took half my student loan amount. Over 25 years later, and I still owe it.

As a mature student on a healthcare uni course that had placements, I stayed with my parents and they took half my bursary. I was actually out of pocket every month just to park my car.

They never needed the money. It was the principle.

My sister has older children, 1 older teen DC, pays a contribution of between £40-£50 a week depending on earnings, which she says includes everything, including food, bills, mobile contract, takeaways etc.
She also has an older dc, who has developed a disability. They only get PIP and they don’t pay anything.
She also has younger children who she still has to suppprt. She is a single parent on NMW,
I don’t think this is unreasonable at all, my nephew has saved thousands since living at home, working and paying this contribution towards food and living expenses.

My children all came home for various reasons. My home is their home so I just accepted any help with food utility bills. They were all very generous with their contributions.

I have always called it 'housekeeping' as opposed to 'rent'. When DC lived at home I only charged them roughly how much it cost to keep them. That way I didn't notice a drop in income when they moved out.

I don't think there are hard and fast rules on this. Parents should do what they need to do depending on income, space and so on.

Children can grow up to be frugal even when paying zero rent as they do across the world. That works ok for me. I dont feel anyone is taking advantage.

Sorry post in error

‘Only’ earns £28k!! 😂😂😂😂

@CandyLeBonBon

In my view, no parent should be charging money to a DC earning only £28k unless there are exceptional circumstances.

Do people really not understand the concept of household income? Do you not budget in your own home? Reminds me of the wankers on twitter who piled on a woman who said an issue with child benefit payments meant she'd missed her car insurance payment. If someone wants eat out on their household income there's nothing wrong with that.

As for charging children digs, any adult living in my house bringing in a full time wage will be contributing to household bills.

I don't have an issue with people saving their kids dig money but I do think there's an assumption now that it's the right thing to do, and that's an incredibly privilege viewpoint.

@BeachLife2 even if a single parent earns less than £28k, ie NMW.
There seems to be a lot of people completely unaware of their privilege.
Personally, I think that adult children should contribute something towards their food etc if they are earning. Most of the amounts mentioned on this thread are token contributions and some parents cannot continue to support their adult children throughout adulthood. They should not be made to feel guilty for this, that is just my opinion though.

28k and living at home? You’re joking right!! That’s only £4k less than I earn and I’m supporting a teenager and two young adults. What a ridiculous statement.

Mine pay £160 each and provide their own food, unless it’s a special occasion or we are all at a loose end and fancy a takeaway or bbq. Obviously, I don’t begrudge them a slice of bread for toast, a sprinkling of cheese for their Mac, use of my spices in their curry! they have a little fridge freezer and a small ladder in their (very large) room.
I realise with that smount of adults the above arrangement wouldn’t work but this ‘I pay for groceries apart from treats’ thing sounds like a recipe for disaster - one person’s treat is another person’s daily diet. What about wine? Is this Waitrose-style groceries or Lidl. Even a decent beef joint for a roast could be deemed a treat nowadays on cost alone. Who decides these things?

*larder cupboard.
no ladders allowed in bedrooms, that would be weird.

No they're not good at cleaning up after themselves.

Ds is ok, ds's gf ( let's call her K ) very slapdash and dd 14 cleans up after herself but wouldn't think to also put a stray glass in the dishwasher alongside her own.