If you have young adults living at home, what does their rent cover?

[Brunocatmon]

My ds is 21, almost 22. He's worked in hospitality his whole working life ( he started work 2 days after he turned 16 ).

Recently he changed jobs to a more secure job with decent contracted hours with more regular pay than before.

Ds's gf ( same age, 21) also lives with me.

Then I have dd who is 14.

The 2 young adults pay rent. £200 a month. This is all in.

In a couple of weeks my eldest dd (30) , her fiance, and 2 dc are moving in from overseas until they find themselves a house to buy. Realistically this could be a good few months.

Dd ( 18) is also moving back in from overseas.( she lives with them at)

I was talking to eldest dd and she said so if we give you X rent then we'll get groceries but if people want expensive extras they get it themselves is that OK?

I said their rent is inclusive of groceries unless expensive treats etc.

It just got me wondering. If your adult dc pay rent what does it include?

Absolutely agree. And calling it a ‘ritual’ is perfect! Some people seem to see charging their child rent as some sort of rite of passage. Bizarre!!!

My eldest pays £150 a month but she is on apprenticeship wages. When she qualifies and if she's at home I'll charge a bit more. She pays for her own phone and if she wants expensive extras she also buys that.
We have saved most of her rent for when she moves out but she doesn't know that.

My adult child doesn’t pay rent, but of friends with adult children that do, it covers all meals and snacks, toiletries they ask for and anything they use. They all cook a couple of times a week and pull their weight with house stuff. If they want extras like alcohol, takeaways or anything in between shops etc then they buy them themselves.

You don't say of your children are living with you to save for a deposit.
If I had all those adults living with me I would be expecting them to pay more .
£200 per month would not cover their groceries if they had their own place .if they are all in full time employment they can afford to pay more and should be thankful they have got off so lightly to date.

Currently £265 a month which includes £100 rent, 25% of council tax (he moved back in after a period out of work, so I lost my discount), the additional utilities, tea, coffee, laundry products and kitchen towel.

He moved back in to save money but is a heavy consumer of utilities.

He buys his own food, toiletries, loo roll and hand soap, and does his own laundry.

Once he is on a stable financial footing the rent portion will go up to £200.

I think £200 a month including food for a child and their partner is incredibly cheap, you are basically paying them to live with you! Food alone is likely £250 per adult.

I have 1 adult DD living at home (23). she pays £140 a month which covers her mobile phone bill and whatever else the other money goes too.

this is on the proviso that she puts an amount away each month to allow her to save for a house.

this is the amount of money my other DD paid, therefore it is only fair that this the amount she pays.

i know for a fact she puts 25% of her wage into a 'deposit' account. She buys all her own food, she cooks all her own meals, the only thing i provide for her is laundry and cleaning.

We don’t need the money but DS gives us £50 per week which covers his food. He doesn’t take lunch from home. He earns 35k PA at the moment whilst training.

He will be given a decent deposit for a house in the region of 50k, when the time comes. A small 3 bed semi can be bought for 250k PA in this area a terrace would be 175k.

You say you charge:
£265 a month which includes £100 rent, 25% of council tax (he moved back in after a period out of work, so I lost my discount), the additional utilities, tea, coffee, laundry products and kitchen towel.

I’m interested to know what you do with the £100 ‘rent’ bit of that? And also why the price increase when he earns more?

Totally understand wanting to charge adult children for what it costs you having them there. But is the rent aspect just a penalty you charge them for living with you? Would it not be better to let him save that towards a deposit for somewhere of his own to buy or rent? Genuinely interested, as I find this idea of a child as a tenant very odd.

My son pays £250 a month. Rent covers his mobile bill, other bills, and food. He eats dinner with us, but does buy his own lunches. I’m a carer for his brother, so on benefits, so can’t afford for him not pay, I get less money because UC assumes he’s paying his way.

DS20 pays £200 a month board and lodge. It basically covers everything - but he's the only one left at home and he often says he doesn't want tea, that he'll be late and he'll make himself something. He then comes in with something he's bought that he fancies. This can range from frozen pizza to a piece of steak that he's going to cook.

£500 a month goes directly to a LISA for first home

there was supposed to be £25 a week for food but that has somehow never arrived in my account

And as for the Spanish approach doesn’t mean it’s the right one

But unless you’re charging more than the £500 you mention, that is going straight into a savings account for your child, they’re not actually paying anything at all towards living costs (bills etc.) and certainly not towards food or ‘rent’. And so you are letting them live there for free, which is exactly what the Spanish approach is. So not sure why you have an issue with it…?

Which is fine if you can afford it.
We need what they pay in rent to make ends meet.
I'd have thought that was obvious.🤷

My DD and her fiancé live with us full time, they pay £250 a month each including groceries, cleaning products, basic toiletries that I buy with the groceries. Any treats they have to buy themselves, they pay their own phone bills etc. If they are not employed they don't pay. If DSS comes home it would be the same deal, I think it's reasonable.

It’s not obvious no. A contribution towards costs (bills/ food) as I’ve said is completely reasonable. But surely, needing ‘what they pay in rent to make ends meet’, can only work if without them there you would be renting out that room. Otherwise you’d still be paying these costs if they weren’t there. If they are taking away what would otherwise be a source of income, then yes charge them rent.

Do what you have to do. My eldest pays me £600, my youngest has just started work asked her for £500. My eldest will now go down to £500, she has loads of money saved. My youngest is not good with money, I will put half of hers into a savings account for her.

I wouldn't include food for the family of four - let them organise their own meals.

Does the Spanish approach apply to every age and income level of child? Are there 35 year old with good jobs living entirely off their pensioner parents? Sounds terrible.

Goes both ways. My elderly mum comes and stays with me for up to a month at a time and I dont ask her for money, perish the thought.
But I dont allow partners so both my DC want to move out to a flatshare. Neither want to be with me forever.

Well then we've misunderstood each other. I've used the word 'rent' to mean what they pay each month. It covers their food and not much else. We wouldn't be able to provide the food that we do without their payment. The food bill for DH and I would be considerably less than for the 5 adults and we don't have enough money to fund this. ( They ate considerably less as children - again - obviously)
I did used feel as you do but sadly our income does not match our ideals.

I lived with my parents after a divorce from age 26 - 33. I changed jobs and post savings so had to start again. My parents let me pay £300 a month including all utilities and some shopping. I also did a shop twice a month for the household and I also used to drive them to the airport, or take them to apts etc etc.
In the end when I remarried and moved out my Dad and Mum said they saved it all up and have put it asideina. Separate account for me later on. Broke my heart that they never used that money.
So after I found this out every time I visited I would put £10/20 in their purse / wallet etc. They never accept money from me now. So thats how I do it.

I found it depended on the individual. DS1 lived here till he was 30, by which time he was on very good wages, worked from home using up electricity all day and ate like a horse! He paid £350 pm once he had a decent job, which rose to £ 400 . He’d also pay for odd bits of shopping and the occasional takeaway, and any expensive toiletries. Ordinary things like toothpaste and cheap shower went in with the usual supermarket shop.
I reckon we just about broke even on that.

DS3 is 24 and lives here for free. He has no income ( don’t ask, we’re working on it). He does help with whatever I ask him to, like gardening, hoovering etc but does very little on his own initiative.
DC2 is returning home temporarily, and I will charge increased fuel and water bills, and a share of weekly shop. Probably £250, so they can save a bit.

I’ve said in all my posts that it’s perfectly reasonable for costs to be charged for. So it’s not a misunderstanding, it’s that you didn’t actually read what I wrote or perhaps read those parts of my post that suited your preconceived idea of what I was saying.

I don’t charge mine rent. My mum never charged me me either and I’m great at budgeting. It would be different if we needed the money.

Why do they pay "rent" in their own home? I'd love to know when their title and role formally changed from your child and a part of the family to your tennant.

I've never charged my children for staying in their own home. It's insulting, degrading and extremely selfish.