What’s the fairest way to do finances when you’re married?

[Lollypopbeach]

I earn less than DH
We have 1 child together

Currently have separate finances but want to get things sorted. some people find it odd we do it this way

YANBU - Separate finances all the way
YABU - Joint account!

As you earn less and you have a child together, I think you should pool your assets and income (and have separate equal spending money if you think that's important). DP and I have mostly separate finances and pay equal amounts into a joint account for all our joint expenditure, but that works for us only because we have similar salaries and similar amounts of savings.

We just have a joint account, both our salaries go in and all bills, mortgage etc comes out.

I know a lot of people prefer to keep it separate or maybe have an additional joint acct they each put a specific amount into each month. But it suits us this simpler way!

I earn a little less as only work 4 days but not massively. We both spend a similar amount on our own hobbies etc.

Joint is the only sensible way, imho - especially once you have a child(ren), who has needs to be met like the rest of the family but obviously cannot contribute for themselves.

If you ever divorced, the courts would go from an assumption of everything having been shared when ruling on a settlement for you both.

Joint all the way. I am the higher earner by miles - we put everything into one account and share it all, because we are a team

I think this is what I want to suggest to DH.

We have seperate accounts but pool to pay every bill and have equal "spending" money

This always feels derisive on Mumsnet!

I'm team joint finance. When we were on similar salaries we each paid the same percentage into the various accounts (so the total would be different but the percentage was the same). Now we basically each get the same amount of spending money each month and the rest gets divided equally between needs, wants and future. If anyone gets a bonus they get an amount for them to keep and do what they want with and the rest goes on something for the family. Works for us.

We have one wage earner in the family. Their wage goes into a joint account which we both have equal access to. Then two equal amounts go out into a personal spends fund for each of us. Actually, the wage-earner's is a bit lower because they wanted to treat the non-wage earner with a raise 😄

all in one joint pot

We keep some things separate to take advantage of ISA allowances, savings/investment thresholds, that kind of thing but the majority of income goes into the joint account and everything is paid from there. We keep a monthly amount back each to cover ‘pocket money’ to do what we like with.
I’ve always been slightly nervous of totally joint finances as it would make it harder to leave the relationship if I needed to

Varies, first marriage everything went into joint account, had no issues at all even when we eventually split 20 years later. Second marriage separate accounts but mostly because we already had them, no issues re money but we don’t have any money worries so it’s easy

I would not marry or have children with someone who refused to have a joint pot.

I agree, the joint pot should have started as soon as maternity leave did, if not before.

Just to clarify we have just never broached the subject, it’s just something that’s been on my mind. My husband is incredibly supportive and pays most bills. I just hate the “you pay for this and I’ll pay for that” since we’re married. I think joint account would be better

I’ve been married twice, and both times it was a joint pot. No his and hers, although I suppose it depends on how good the relationship is.

Fair enough

And what about savings? Are they also joint or seperate

We have had the below for many years - works well when both worked or when I took reduced hours for childcare. Has always felt very fair:

1 joint account for all bills, ( including a monthly allowance for bills that may be annually or quarterly) so we know how much we have to fund it every month.
1 joint account for household spend that can go to zero - food, petrol, kids expenses. Set sum put in every month.
2 sole accounts for our own allowance. Each left with the same but amount has varied as bills/spend/ joint income has changed. Lowest was £50 - highest £300 per month. This allows us to spend our own money as we want.
Joint longer term savings account.

Joint account and sole accounts.
Joint account for household bills and child stuff.
Sole accounts for personal discretionary spend.

Pay into joint account either proportionately or so each has same amount left over, or some other formula.

Everyone is different and I get this isn’t for everyone but we just put all of our money in one account and use it for everything - bills, expenses, our own spends etc. It works for us, we see every penny as ‘ours’.

We’ve always had a joint account that’s for household expenses: rent, mortgage, utilities, food, clothes/shoes for the DCs, childcare etc

Then we both still hold our own personal accounts for personal expenses - our own clothes/shoes, mobile phone bills, gym memberships or whatever.

I have been married 20 years, only recently have we been able to afford savings. Currently they are all in my name, but they are joint savings, only in my name as I am better at finances and admin than DH, and joint savings accounts seem to be harder to open.

Savings should be family money, and be used for joint agreed purchases.

All money coming into the house goes into the one, joint account (salaries, Child Benefit, any investment or saving interest, any benefits).
Bills go out
Savings go out
Both partners get equal 'spending money' into their own personal accounts, to do with as they want. Good to have some autonomy to treat yourself or anyone else for that matter, no questions asked and no resentment from partner who might make different choices.

One joint pot for all bills and household spending. Then a transfer of the same amount for fun money for each person into their own bank account. Equal amount going into savings and investments for each person (ISAs etc)

Joint Account for household bills and personal accounts for salary to go into then Standing Order into the joint account.

Before marriage, we split everything 50/50 in case the relationship broke down, we'd sell the house and split the proceeds.

After marriage we split based on gross salary percentage. So I earn roughly 3x more than my wife, I put in 75% of Joint Account she puts in 25%. It's horrendous just now because of childcare but come late next year we'll have 1 in school and 1 with 30 hours funded so probably about £1k a month less required for the Joint Account.

Thank you everyone.

What about if one person has more savings than another? How does that work

Say my DH has £70000 savings from inheritance and I have £700 😂