Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

The fact she's only a size 14/16 makes your husband even more of a prick.

Like another pp said, thank you for taking him out of the pool so other women avoid getting lumbered with him.

My understanding is that it is 16. Making 14-16 average/slightly below average.

My hand actually went to my face reading this, I thought you were going to say she over heard.

And no, no, 1000x no do not say anything to his friend.

Surely the friend who over heard is a real friend, meaning, she won't upset the bride unnecessarily by telling her what she over heard.

A grown man said this?

Disgusting!!!

I guess your husband wasn't dating you when you were ' fat ' yes let's use the word he meant at the wedding,
and I guess you are well aware that if you ever reach anything near a 14/16 again in your life then your wonderful husband will not be happy - to say the least.

Oh well at least you know the type of man you married...

What a mean spirited, bullying shit your husband is to say that about a bride on her wedding day.

Glad he's sweating. Good on the brides friend for calling him out.

Same.

The only reason he wants to say sorry is because he was caught out.

He shouldn't say anything to his friend & just leave it alone now.

Don't say anything more. Enough damage has been done already

If the bride's friend has even a modicum of tact she won't have said anything to the happy couple.
There are times when apologising pre-emptively is a good idea but I definitely don't think this is one of them and risks making things much worse!
If the bride/groom does hear about this, then that is the time for a grovelling apology from you husband. Hopefully he'll have taken something useful from this whole fandango.

No the average is actually 16 if you look it up. I didn’t say that anything below was unhealthy or anything of the sort. Just stating fact about the average size.

Things that I have heard commented on weddings are: cringy speeches, bad clothes, ill fitting suits, wedding dress, bridesmaids, bridezilla behaviour, groomzilla behaviour, length of speeches, food, location, speculation about the cost, speculation about the length of marriage, drunk relatives. Never actually the size of bride or groom, but it is a brutal world out there!

There have been a spate of these threads where the OP’s partner/ husband says something incredibly misogynistic and offensive. I wonder why?

Is your Dh slim and gorgeous?
I doubt it as most men who put woman down for their looks know full well they wouldn’t stand a chance with them so they put women down to elevate themselves and deflect from their own insecurities.
Did he say this out loud when you were the same size or keep those jokes to himself and his mates?

Your husband is a dick. What does he look like? What an absolute prince of men.

Amen.
what a cunt.

What a catch you have there.

Why do people have to be such nasty arseholes and make comments about somebody's size like that? Horrible.

You still have said nothing about what an awful thing he did. It sounds like you are both just sorry he got caught.

Your husband is a 'fat shaming' arsehole and size 14/16 isn't even that big. What a horrible thing to say about the bride, his friend's wife. It's rude and unkind and he deserves to lose a good friend over this, but hopefully the bride's friend keeps it to herself so that the bride never finds out that she had such a cunt of a guest at her wedding.

Possibly because alot of men are arseholes and some of them are married.

like PPs said- I cannot imagine wishing to share my life with such a man. Although I did have an abusive relationship pre-DH with someone who was like this. he was misogynistic in so many ways as well and woe betide me if i fell short aesthetically in any way. he was 24 years older than me and left me for a young woman, and yes it was 'my fault' because I went above 9 stone. He used to weigh me.

So yes, I think the OP should think about getting her 'quackers' in a row. I doubt this is the only time he has revealed himself to be a nasty shit.

Is it really nasty though or is it a very silly joke to his wife that he obviously wouldnt say to anyone else. I think the fact he is mortified and wants to apologise says this. I mean Jesus does no one say anything they wouldn’t want other people to hear?

Sorry, not that it matters, he's been an arse regardless, but he is commenting on someone's size when they are smaller than the average woman? Wow.

There isn't actually any way in which an apology could ever make this better. It's just sheer nastiness with a heavy dose of misogyny.

I'm guessing from the OP's reaction that he probably has form for this kind of comment. Which isn't surprising, really. That kind of comment wouldn't ever come out of someone who was even half-way decent as a human being. I suspect that the OP has probably got so used to this shit that it doesn't really shock her any more.

I feel quite sorry for her. She isn't responsible for her shit of a husband.

You would leave some on for this one comment even though he now wants to apologise? MN is mental. I have personally made lots of stupid jokes to my DH that I would die if anyone else heard