Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

Your husband did a mean thing. It serves him right if it blows back on him and he has to deal with the consequences. He may well learn that fat people have feelings and people who care about them.

I wouldn’t say anything but your DH is a knob. It was her wedding day…

What a prick.

He should feel ashamed of himself but sounds like he’s just freaked out he got caught out and it might fuck up his friendship.

He needs to find out if the friend has been told via the person who told him off. And grovel some more.

He was definitely the school bully. No doubt about that.

If I was at a wedding with ANYONE and they said this about any bride as she walked down the aisle I'd be seriously considering my life choices.

Are you not totally perplexed as to why that's where his head was? Or is that just typical Dave?

I very much doubt it’ll get back to his mate because the friend will want to protect the bride. But honestly OP that’s the least of your worries.

As someone who was a 14 at her smallest, and currently an 18/20 if I found out DP’s friend had made such a shitty lame joke about me on any day, let alone my wedding, I would be making sure we never spent time with them again.

Your H is a prick, and you know that. Offloading his guilt by getting in there first and telling them what he said is even worse. Making sure that the B&G not only know what was said, but putting them in a position where she’s supposed to forgive him for tainting her special day and making her question forever more whether she really did look as beautiful in that dress as she thought. What a cunt.

Well if the bride is a massive 14/16 then I think it's much more likely it gets back to her!
Your husband is vile and you have issues too if you think the bride was fat at that size.

Wow. Your husband is unpleasant and unfunny.

Your husband is a cunt. What if she heard that walking down the aisle? That kind of thinking can't be a one-off.
Edited to add WTF! She's a 14-16 and you clearly think that's huge too. I was thinking she was double that and he'd still have been a dick.
As for projecting. I circle the drain of 40kg due to a life limiting condition.

iliketheouradio

I know a lot of posters are clearly projecting, but come on. In the real world, people notice, no one is blind. It's easy to throw accusation of "fat shaming" everywhere, but you can't police what people think, and you can't hide facts.

I stand by what I said, commenting at times and place which are especially recorded in a wedding is absolutely stupid!

People notice?! What, that not everyone is a size 6?

If the comment has been passed on then an apology will do sod all to make it better.

If the comment has not been passed on then an apology will alert your DH’s friend to the fact your DH made a horrible comment, which will be upsetting all round.

For these reasons I do not think your DH should reach out to apologise. I hope he has learned his lesson. And I hope the comment was not passed on.

yeah, you're married to a cunt.
He has commented on the physical appearance of an average sized woman who his friend loves. He has done this on a day he has been privileged to attend and that most people would feel a warm glow about. In the midst of all this , the ONLY thing he could think to say was to judge a womans body. This is not normal at all. He is a strange strange man.
Imagine what he says about people he doesn;t like if he will do this to a friend.
I truly truly hope this Adonis and you don't have daughters. Those poor, poor girls if you do. I would also suggest you have a look at how much you have been affected by this man - and maybe not leave, but look at your own boundaries. Kids in primary school now are told 'other peoples bodies are none of your business.' Your idiot is not even working at that level.

Wow, what a horrible little man your husband is, you must be so proud.

Fingers crossed his 'friend' learns what was said and dumps him, hopefully the bride will never find out.

As for people saying "14 isn't even fat", is that the point? The bride could be a size 32 but the OP's husband shouldn't be making nasty jokes at her expense on her wedding day. He is her guest, he should bloody well act like it.

Ah that's just so nasty!
My wedding day was one of the happiest in my life and one of the few times I've felt truly beautiful. As a woman who is also a size 14, I'm sure some people did think I looked a bit fat, but fuck sake, at least they didn't say it out loud!
I'm proper buzzing that this lady pulled your DH up on how comments though. Hopefully he'll have learnt that he doesn't have to share his nasty opinions going forward. Massive well done to her.

I don't think your DH should mention it to his friend, just in case her friend hasn't told them. But I think you need to have a serious talk with him about why he felt the need to trash someone on their wedding day

It was offensive because it bore relation to you?

Not because it was sexist, fat-shaming, unkind, uncalled for and mean-spirited?

I do hope they'll paint you with the same brush TBH!

What a nasty bastard.

What a horrible man. So he should reach out to the bride and apologise.

Your DH comment was very inappropriate. You calling him out was correct. If the friend tells the bride or the groom will be extra drama for free. She should know better and leave them happy.

But why are you not? I doubt this is something he's said in isolation, so you're either comfortable in a relationship with an utter cunt, or you feel you can't leave for some reason.

The friendship is over I'd say. Don't even bother trying. This is too awful to redeem. Of course the groom will find out. No amount of apologising can mend this.

I hope his mate does find out and gives your DH what for. What a disgusting excuse for a man