Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

So it's ok to spoil the grooms day? If this man is so bad he will be found out but honestly I can't see the value in spoiling this couples day. It actually seems quite spiteful to me and if I compare someone putting his foot in his mouth to someone quite deliberately running to tell tales that will spoil the memories if a special day I know who I think is worse.

No, the DH is definitely the spiteful one. He didn’t put his foot in his mouth, he deliberately made a comment whilst the bride was taking down the aisle.

I don't think it's spiteful to warn someone you who is a friend or a family member that someone who is supposed to be his friend made an awful (deliberate) comment about his wife.

I know I'd want to know and the only person I'd be blaming is the fool who opened his mouth in the first place when he's supposed to be a friend.

‘Running to tell tales’ is an oddly juvenile phrase to use about this. Telling someone (not necessarily on the day - I agree that’s unnecessary) that a fried. Was so vile isn’t ’telling tales’ - that’s what 5 year olds do if someone takes their pencil. It’s not spiteful either. Plus of course he didn’t ’put his foot in his mouth’, ne made a calculated decision to be vile about a bride on her wedding day when it was fairly obvious someone would hear him. He’s definitively the bad guy here.

Your husband is disgusting. He’s also a shitty friend. I doubt the friend has told the bride so I wouldn’t be getting him to say anything. It would break my heart if I knew someone was mocking me as I walked up the aisle.

You’re married to the type of man who would even go there and say that kind of nasty crap on a woman’s wedding day

The fact that you only care about him getting caught says a lot about you. Both of you deserve each other because that would put me off a loser for life (and that’s what he is)

I feel so sorry for this couple if they have their memories of their wedding day ruined just so everyone can prove how righteous they are. Sometimes you should just keep things to yourself.

Exactly, that woman is human, I don't understand why so many seem happy for her day to be ruined.

Stop trying to blame all the people who didn't make nasty comments. If their day is ruined only one person is to blame.

You mean like making a comment about someone's weight? Yes, he should've kept that comment to himself.

But he didn't and if the couple find out, the only person to blame is the one who made the comment in the first place.

That just isn't true. He shouldn't have made the remark so it starts with him but why would you deliberately repeat the remark? You know it can only upset the bride and groom. I repeat it is spiteful and other than wanting to deliberately upset them I can't see any reason for it.

The only person or people I blame are the people who repeat that remark with no thought of how it will upset the couple.

No the people repeating it are also to blame.

I think we can all work out who the people are who've repeated things without giving a damn about how much they are upsetting the person who is blissfully unaware of what was said.

you do no ones said the friend has told the bride what was said about her don't you. She was an incredible friend to call OPs shitty husband out in the first place and I imagine she's highly unlikely to repeat it to the bride as she clearly has a heart, unlike OP & her husband.

However, if she's got any sense she'll have told the bride & groom to drop these two ASAP without divulging why.

No they aren't.

If I was in their position, I'd want to know. Especially if I was the groom, some friend.

People were saying someone should tell them. If she had already told them we'd be talking in the past tense.

I'd think it was really odd if a friend told me to drop other friends with no reason. Sounds very odd and why would they?

At the end of the day do you agree with the people saying someone who heard what he said should repeat it to the couple or do you think that would just be upsetting them and spoiling their memories of a special day?

Well I don't think everyone would want to know. Personally I would not want to take the chance of upsetting them but I guess we aren't all the same.

I absolutely don't think the friend should tell the bride that someone was calling her fat at her own wedding. Nor do I think she will.

However, if she hypothetically did, the only person I would blame for the bride's upset is the person that said it.

I wouldn't feel like a good friend keeping it from the groom. Plus I wouldn't be able to be around this ''friend'' if they hung out often without an obvious atmosphere.

So I take it you're a size 6 then?

How odd. If I let a man continue a friendship with another man, in the dark about that man's attitudes to his wife, so he'd continue to socialise with that man, not knowing his wife was being laughed at behind her back, I'd think I was pretty cowardly. I wouldn't tell the bride, and there's no need for the groom to either. But I think the guy deserves to know that a man he might be inviting to dinner is going to be laughing at his wife's weight when she leaves the room. If he's a decent man, he'd probably not want to expose her to ridicule.

If you let a man continue a friendship? Are you the friendship police?

Lol. Read it again, carefully. There's a difference in meaning between let a man continue a friendship and the same sentence with the important addition of 'in the dark about...'. Meaning let him remain in the dark. If you genuinely didn't spot the difference, hopefully it's now clear. If you thought you could divert attention from the valid point I made by pretending I was saying something else, nice try, but try again.

Ah well, tbf to your DH, he may work in construction, or design , or simply have an eye for ergonomics, and was merely expressing his gratitude that the aisle was accommodating enough for the rotund bride.

Thankfully, she walked up & down the aisle before the wedding meal mind ;)

P.s. grabs coat & leaves... 😂

S