Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

I haven't seen anyone shaming thin people on this thread. However I agree that anyone throwing stones and making snide remarks is unhappy. We all have our struggles and I hope things improve for you soon.

It IS quite normal to be overweight; that's what everyone means when they say 16 is the average size. Normal in the sense of it's very common and applies to many people, yes? I don't know if you think the word normal here means something else.

Yes I wonder if a lot of the disagreement here is a difference in understanding of the word normal. It doesn't mean (or imply) positive, healthy, aspirational or anything else.

Saying it's normal to be overweight is just factual it can't be delusional.

Not when a bride is walking down the aisle though!
I get we all have different senses of humour but if you think making a "joke" about how fat a bride is as she walks down the aisle with no concern if she hears or not is funny.....there's something wrong with you. Clearly you think it's funny...

Did you realise the kind of awful man your husband is before op? Dear God.

Also I love the bride’s friend for this. Proper girls girl.

Yes exactly, belittling someone for their body…what’s the difference really in shaming someone who has lost weight and is now slim? There is no difference. It’s very hypocritical. But from these comments body shaming only applies if you’re fat.

Noone is belittling a slim
person’s body.

You don’t sound happy at all. No it’s nothing to do with you being “slim”

Which comments shame and belittle you for being thin? I can see lots of people disagreeing with you on much of what you've posted but I can't see that anyone is saying you being slim is a bad thing?

I suggest you reread the thread. But I agree with you about the comments from people who are throwing stones and making snide remarks are deeply unhappy… must be to be making comments about me.

Don’t sound happy because I said I was miserable when I was fat and couldn’t fit into nice clothes… yes I definitely wasn’t happy when I was fat. That’s my point.

I'm sorry you feel that way. Perhaps we can both agree that making snide remarks and belittling comments for whatever reason, isn't a sign of healthy self esteem.

I’m sorry but you are laughably in denial here.

Why? The PP isn't saying it's a healthy weight (although it is true it may be) or that it is ideal or aspirational. It IS normal in that it is a typical size for a fairly average woman in the UK. No idea where the denial fits in.

In denial about what?

It is quite normal for people to be overweight now - you would be in denial if you said it was unusual to see an overweight person, wouldn't you?

Or do you read the word 'normal' as meaning something different?

Or is it the part about someone in a 14-16 clothes size not necessarily being overweight that you think is 'laughably in denial'. I'm wearing a size 12 Whistles dress today; I was in a pair of size 16 M&S jeans yesterday. Was I fatter yesterday than today? No! The label in my clothes isn't all that helpful in determining whether or not I'm overweight. A tall person might wear a size 14 that runs smaller than another brand's size 12 that a much shorter person is wearing. The tall person might have a BMI under 25; the short person not. Weight distribution, height and the wild variation in women's clothes sizes make it a very inaccurate way to gauge if someone is overweight or not. I know I'm not the only person to have ordered eg three dresses from the same brand in the same size and found one too small, one too big, one just right? Someone's jeans might be bigger to accommodate wider hips but that person might have a waist that comes in under the healthy waist-height ratio if they're an hourglass.

In denial about what? I think my post was pretty factual.

Do you not think it's normal to be overweight? If so you may be suffering from the dreaded Mumsnet sin of not knowing what a healthy weight looks like! Look around you it's extremely normal.

I cannot believe there is anyone breaking their back to defend why he might've felt the need to burst out with a comment about a woman's weight as she walks down the aisle. Doesn't matter if she weighs 6 stone, 16 stone or 26 stone. He was a guest at her wedding and he had the potential to ruin what was her happiest memory forever. If someone had made a comment about my appearance as I literally walked up the aisle, I can assure you that would be an everlasting memory - every time I looked at my wedding album I'd be thinking "and everyone thought I looked like a beached whale"

This is inexcusable, there is literally no comment on here that's provided a decent justification.

Christ I hope you don’t have daughters. What a w⚓️

Objecting to the mockery of overweight people isn't a sign of deep unhappiness. Nor is challenging you on your preoccupation with telling other people they're fat. Most people joined a thread to discuss a man's offensive behaviour towards a bride. You have chosen to drive the thread in another direction to meet your own need to harangue overweight people. Rather than accusing other people of having issues with weight, perhaps look at your own given you're the one making such a fuss about it.

People are making comments about you based on the opinions you've expressed on the thread, not because you are no longer overweight. You have convinced yourself that anyone who disagrees with your view is fat and jealous of you because you're not. I can categorically tell you, this is not so.

Saying she needs a wide aisle is saying she is a fat fuck. You don't need to be so precious about it, I'm a bit of a fat fuck myself at the minute.

Post a picture of your DH let’s all give him out unwanted opinions see how he feels. What a knob

I am constantly amazed at just how many MNs have such gross and disgusting partners and husbands.

So you can say it about yourself but other people can’t?
Strange world.