Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

[funnypost]

This is a funny one. We have 3 and a half bathrooms in our house. 3 upstairs and 1 little bathroom downstairs.

upstairs there are 2 en suites- one off the master bedroom and one off the guest room, plus a family bathroom.

I loathe walking into a bathroom and it being smelly. I just can’t deal with it. It’s gross.

at weekends, DH tends to do his business in the master en suite. But this is where all our stuff is. I hate not being able to go up there or if I really need to, having to breathe in the disgusting smell.

so I’ve asked him, why can’t you just use one of the bathrooms that’s just completely not in use ? Why do you need to use the bathroom that’s most in use by me and also near our bedroom, which also makes the idea of it gross.

I would just never dream of doing it. I try to be discreet and use one of the bathrooms that’s not got all our stuff in.

men just don’t think like this right ? My DH thinks I’m ridiculous but also finds it funny and has complied.

what does everyone think ? Do I sound like I have a stick up my bum ? I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up. DH thinks I’m ridiculous and that it’s a normal thing in life and I’m way too uptight.

Ask him to strike a match after he flushes - eliminated 99% of the smell. Or yes he could crap downstairs.

It’s his home too - you’re being precious

As opposed to him simply using a different room? That seems to be a very convoluted way to be obstinate.

OP, I don't think your unreasonable. And if DH has listened and agreed then great - that's what marriage is about, compromise and consideration.

I don't get any of this at all it really is a non issue. We had 6 adults living in a 3 bed house never entered my head to worry about it. Then there is the other weird thing when people don't want contractors using their toilets.

open the window
or ask him to light a tea light
or both

it's a toilet.
it's made for, erm, going to the toilet.
yabu

You've got to love Mumsnet - where men are wrong and pervy for having human bodies and needing to poo sometimes.

Given you have various options yanbu to ask him to poo in one of the several other loos. Surely that's no hardship. I think en suits should generally be non poo loos just because they're so close to your bedroom, tend to be small and there's always the other option of the family bathroom.

I don't get why people are saying they only have one bathroom so have to deal with it so you should too as that's not the situation you're in. We only have one bathroom so deal with it but my DP would love a downstairs one to poo in!

but they don't, they have 4. So it's just polite to use one that doesn't impact others.

I can't believe the number of people who happily choose a house with an en-suite toilet - but then get surprised and upset when that toilet gets used as a toilet.

If you don't want people going to the toilet next to your bedroom, and you bought a house with an en-suite toilet next to your bedroom, decommission it and turn it into a wardrobe or something.

I always thought the Dentons from The League of Gentlemen - with their "And this is the toilet into which we do NOT pass solids!" were a grotesque comedy set-up; not a documentary about MN.

Definitely!

I agree with you OP, but you haven’t enabled voting!

OP, first world problems! You have FOUR loos in your house - I’m old enough to remember when I was a child and my grandmother had one outside lav and no bathroom. So your DH dares to….use a loo for its intended purpose. And there are three other bathrooms you could use. Sorry, but I really don’t see the problem. I could understand if you had sparkled the downstairs loo for visitors and he used it, but other than that, YABU!

Has your en suite got a window and decent ventilation?

Unless its a tiny stuffy room where the smell stays for ages, I don't understand how he is pooing at the exact time that you need to use your stuff, often enough for it to be an issue.

I think you're being a bit precious. People poo. Poo smells. It's normal. That's what toilets are for. Its not 'gross' its a healthy normal bodily functuon. It's not that long ago that most houses had one bathroom, and not much longer that most neighbours shared a bathroom.

He can 'poo in peace' in one of the other 3 toilets, no big deal.

We have 1.5 bathrooms (didn’t know a 1/2 bathroom was a thing).
Like most people we just use whatever is the closest. And spray afterwards. I mean it doesn't last that long anyway. And you can still open the window.

One thing I’d have more issue with is if it was the ensuite and smell was going into the bedroom. But, as it’s not the case, 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Bloody hell, it’s a perfectly normal bodily function.

How old are you?

😀

My DH only uses his bathroom as he wouldn’t want the downstairs (guest) bathroom to be smelly. He does open the window and clean the loo if it smells, though. Any odours, therefore, only linger for a few mins…

The answer is separate en suites/bedrooms which is what we do. During the week anyway, as he has to get up at 530 [snores] and I’m a night owl and it means we never have to compete for the loo or vanity (or have the reality of each other’s bodily functions destroy the mystique 🤣). Secret to a happy marriage and brings the novelty and sexiness back to holidays and weekends…

Just so I can clarify…your sh1t doesn’t stink and smells like what? Roses? Vanilla? Freshly cut grass? Fresh bread?

Posters can fall over themselves to express their glee at pooping next to their bed if they want, it's still gross 😂

There's a reason why loos don't come straight into kitchens either. It might be "natural", it doesn't have to all together.

If you find the idea of a loo with a door straight in the kitchen or in your bedroom normal, then you are weird.

old enough to have manners and standards?

I agree. There’s something pathetic about being so squeamish about perfectly normal daily activities. I wanted to vote that OP was BU simply for the insufferably twee “doing his business”. Urgh. He’s taking a dump, having a shit, curling one out. Totally normal.

😂😂
Sorry but it’s poo.
A very normal bodily function we all have. You and the OP included.

If that’s such an issue, I do hope @funnypost isnt using said ensuite to have a poo either and hide away in another bathroom. One her dh doesn't use either because god forbid he might smell HER poo.

I can’t believe people on here are advocating a 3 bathrooms house for 2 peoole because smelling poo is so offensive. 😵‍💫😵‍💫

The Mumsnet concept of having an en suite that you aren't allowed to use is just so bizarre, I don't have the words. 🤯

Yep but that’s NOT her issue is it?
She is just offended by the smell when she is using said bathroom. Not that it might smell in the bedroom or that it’s unhygienic.