Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

[funnypost]

This is a funny one. We have 3 and a half bathrooms in our house. 3 upstairs and 1 little bathroom downstairs.

upstairs there are 2 en suites- one off the master bedroom and one off the guest room, plus a family bathroom.

I loathe walking into a bathroom and it being smelly. I just can’t deal with it. It’s gross.

at weekends, DH tends to do his business in the master en suite. But this is where all our stuff is. I hate not being able to go up there or if I really need to, having to breathe in the disgusting smell.

so I’ve asked him, why can’t you just use one of the bathrooms that’s just completely not in use ? Why do you need to use the bathroom that’s most in use by me and also near our bedroom, which also makes the idea of it gross.

I would just never dream of doing it. I try to be discreet and use one of the bathrooms that’s not got all our stuff in.

men just don’t think like this right ? My DH thinks I’m ridiculous but also finds it funny and has complied.

what does everyone think ? Do I sound like I have a stick up my bum ? I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up. DH thinks I’m ridiculous and that it’s a normal thing in life and I’m way too uptight.

"We have a joint facility attached to our joint bedroom. I claimed it exclusively for myself and ban the other occupant of the bedroom from ever using it. It works for ME us!"

I've never heard of Pooper Star before. Does Jamelia advertise it?

I would love to if I knew what it meant 😕.

I am in awe of your "three and a half bathrooms". I wish I even knew what a half bathroom is 🙄.
Sadly I am a poor mortal with just 1 bathroom and a separate toilet. Luckily I was able to suggest to DH early in our relationship that he should use the toilet (which he mostly does) leaving the bathroom for me. So yes, I agree, men should not be pooing in our space 😁😁😁

100% agree with you OP. If you have other options in your house, then he should use that.

Yes I agree with you, he’s being inconsiderate when it’s essentially part of the bedroom.

I don’t think that’s what OP said though - he can do most things in there including peeing. Just not stinking the place out.

The stench is significantly reduced if you flush the second the shit hits the pan, then flushing again to get rid of the soiled loo paper.

Houses in the first half of thec20th century were built with the loo in it's own little room, and tge bath and basin in a room next door. Quite sensible.

I would find it a bit irritating but wouldn't expect DH to shit elsewhere. It's a toilet, you shit in it, shit smells.....

I might be tempted to only have cheap scratchy loo roll in that toilet though and put the nice soft squishy stuff in the main bathroom 😆..

I am guessing you don't live in the countryside OP?

My granny and Grampa had a downstairs bathroom and an upstairs toilet. If you were just going to pee you could use downstairs one but if you were going to poo or fart it was the upstairs toilet. This was so if my granny it aunty went for a bath their would be no smells. I'm positive as a child I made them a sign for the doors with a poo in a red circle crossed out lol. If I didn't do it it was either my big brother or little sister.

Ha ha! Only on Mumsnet! DH is perfectly happy with it. He uses it for all other purposes. Just has an exclusive extra bathroom with extra privacy for poos! I’d say he’s the winner.

That's certainly not how what she wrote came across. She said that she had the convenient nearby one and he had the one that was some distance away; no mention of what each person could do in which toilet.

So you have to adjust your clothing, flush, handle one door to open it, then handle a second door to get into the room where the basin is - all with potentially pooey or wee-ey hands?!

Possibly also having to wait there with germy hands if somebody else is using the room with the basin in it.

I grew up in a house with the separate loo/bathroom set up and it's a giant pain if there's no basin in there (as there usually wasn't, and very limited room to put one in). There's a reason many houses with that set up ended up knocking through.

Also, and I only remembered this while typing the above, the door to that loo was directly opposite my bedroom door so any and all smells drifted across the landing to me. Weirdly the separate loo didn't remove any odour from the process!

It you use pine fragrance toilet gel duck cleaner product around the rim of the toilet and leave it, after the business, that usually works. The smell of the pine over ride the toilet business snell.

She’s talking about the terrible smell and POOTSD, but OP would need to be the one to clarify.

I think it would be more disruptive to get adequately dressed, take key (and possibly means of electricity in room) and wander the hotel corridors looking for a communal loo, if you committed the crime of needing a poo outside general waking hours!

But then you can't wash your hands after going to the loo, before touching at least 2 door handles...? imo that's more gross/vile/grim than using a toilet...as an actual toilet - and wash hands in same room afterwards!

True. We didn't shut the loo or bathroom door in my early childhood home so I hadn't thought of that. When we moved, the loo was in the bathroom, which felt like a luxury.

Nope as I've also trained him to open the window and make sure the door is shut properly afterwards. The only time I smell it is if I have the kitchen window open as the stench comes back in! (Both rooms at front separated by the hallway/front door) 🤣

I’m afraid I’m with you. I have chronic OCD and I’m really sensitive to smells, especially if they are unpleasant and I would love to banish my husband to somewhere other than my home to do his business as the thought just makes my stomach turn. I can’t comment on whether you are too much because I probably am too, but I absolutely understand And I’m definitely with you on this!

Genuine question: how do you deal with your own smells when you go to the toilet?

It’s kind of different and not wishing to give tmi but they tend not to smell that much 🤣

I could have written this post myself - I'm so pleased to know that I'm not the only person that doesn't share a bathroom. Nothing much worse than having to use a place that somebody has just left, after 'dumping the kids at the pool' 🤣🤢, or equally as awful, having someone rattling the door, saying 'You going to be long?' I know we all have to 'go', but it's a side of life I prefer to not share!