Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

[funnypost]

This is a funny one. We have 3 and a half bathrooms in our house. 3 upstairs and 1 little bathroom downstairs.

upstairs there are 2 en suites- one off the master bedroom and one off the guest room, plus a family bathroom.

I loathe walking into a bathroom and it being smelly. I just can’t deal with it. It’s gross.

at weekends, DH tends to do his business in the master en suite. But this is where all our stuff is. I hate not being able to go up there or if I really need to, having to breathe in the disgusting smell.

so I’ve asked him, why can’t you just use one of the bathrooms that’s just completely not in use ? Why do you need to use the bathroom that’s most in use by me and also near our bedroom, which also makes the idea of it gross.

I would just never dream of doing it. I try to be discreet and use one of the bathrooms that’s not got all our stuff in.

men just don’t think like this right ? My DH thinks I’m ridiculous but also finds it funny and has complied.

what does everyone think ? Do I sound like I have a stick up my bum ? I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up. DH thinks I’m ridiculous and that it’s a normal thing in life and I’m way too uptight.

The unmumsnetty answer to the smell problem is a toilet brush. It’s fecal matter that causes the lingering smell and if it’s cleaned and flushed again the bathroom won’t smell.

In my house I’ve left the en-suite to dh, and I have my stuff in the family bathroom. It’s worked out well because my teens don’t want baths anymore so now they use the shower in the en-suite and the half bathroom downstairs in the day and I have a little spa to myself.

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask him to do that. Most of my friends who have more than one loo do the same 😂

We have 3 toilets, and one is designated as a no poo toilet. It is at the furthest end of the house so no real hard ship, and mostly born of the fact that it was a new clean toilet with clean piping that I didn’t want to mucky up with poo… but it is the bathroom with the main bath and shower and that we spend the most time in, so I stand by it as a rule!

There's no issue as your dh complies.

I would be much more upset by the vile stink of an air freshener than by some honest shit. But then I don't like en suites, so in a way I suppose I feel the same. I produce some fairly epic clear outs and I do gravitate towards the downstairs loo for that, so I guess I'm not so different. I wouldn't dream of making a rule about it for others though.

This. It’s not a massive ask really

I hate ensuites. We had one in our last house and the shower used to wake me up and obviously, the poop smells wafting in to the bedroom! Plus the reduction in bedroom size to make space for it.
I much prefer a separate family bathroom and a large bedroom.

I'd prefer him to use another toilet, but it's being a bit bossy tbh. As long as he opens a window and doesn't go whilst your breakfasting in bed or chilling out and likely to hear him, I think it's ok.

Mine does too, and if we're in a hotel room with the DC he'll go down and use one in reception so we can have the hotel bathroom. Very considerate!

I'm impressed by all these people whose DH's poo stench is removed by simply opening a window...

YANBU OP he can relocate his 'business', sounds like it's pretty simple to do

I think this is completely reasonable my dh always uses the other bathroom and wouldn't expose any of us to his smells if he could avoid it. It's a simple thing to ask of him. Tbh we have a no poo in the ensuite rule even in hotel rooms as his dairy intolerance makes his quite bad.

I hear you but you seem to have more reservations over a normal bodily function which seems more of an issue. You mention “covering it up” as if pooing is an embarrassing secretive thing. There’s something off

It’s just a smell. I suspect you’re reacting strongly because you have feelings about contamination, dirt, disgust attached to that smell. But it is just a smell, that will do you no harm.

I find disgust about bodily functions pretty childish, and something that some women do to show how feminine they are. It’s irritating, even though I know it’s probably learned behaviour from childhood.

😁

This thread really is an eye opener.

I had no idea so many people had smelly bathroom problems.

I can only assume lack of ventilation plays a large part, together possibly with spicy food diets or similar and possibly not enough use of toilet freshener.

But I do wonder if its also to do with central heating and people keeping their homes at a temperature which contributes to the fetid smells.

It's just not a problem I've come across personally and up until my present home I've only ever lived in one bathroom homes.

Why is your need not to use something for its intended purpose more important than his need to use a toilet for what it is meant for, other than the MN line of women are more 'precious and delicate than men'

I agree OP! I had a chat with Dh at one time because he would leave the ensuite door open to let out the smell...into our bedroom. He was having some issues and as a result our bedroom became disgusting. Now if it's smelly he (or i) leave the door to the bedroom closed to contain any smell. We have an unused bathroom in a spare room and he usually goes there to poop, mostly because he likes to spent 20 mins in there and I need access to my stuff as it's not fair otherwise

If we had one toilet we'd manage as people always did, but we are lucky enough to have options so it makes sense to use them.

YANBU, but neither is your husband, as he has relocated at your request.

I think most people don't shit in their en-suites because it's off the bedroom, and who wants a stinky bedroom if there's an alternative?

If there were only one toilet, of course it would be a different matter, but there's not only one toilet, is there?

I’ve always find it funny how hung up people get over this every day bodily function. It’s like the people who also can’t go to a toilet at work/public.

En suites are the shittest ‘luxury’. Especially tiny ones or without a window! Surely
its more of a luxury to have a good sized, well ventilated bathroom down the hall from where you sleep and keep all your things!

I thought that too!

Ensuites are nasty I would rather have a wardrobe I lived in a new build with an Ensuite once it's was awful opened the bedroom door into a wall where the Ensuite was cut off so much space the builder wedged it in we had a family bathroom (massive and no window) three tiny bedrooms (one smaller than the bathroom) a downstairs toilet and a tiny tiny kitchen

Never again

Erm no - are you familiar with the concept of diffusion? The smell diffuses through the air from the point that the shit leaves the body. Do you think everyone who leaves a stinky toilet has left the bowl covered in shit? Do you think your shit doesn't smell?!

FFS Don't be so precious It's your DH

I kind of know what you mean, but it depends on the bloke I think. For example my husband is fastidious about not leaving much of a smell behind in our one bathroom, more so than me 😂 he's like a ninja pooper.

When I visit my parents house, my stepdad spends ages in the loo and the smell is dreadful. I think he doesnt flush right away, and sits there browsing his phone or something, is grim walking in after him. I'm sure it's a few degrees warmer too🤣 does your husband sit for ages in there allowing the smell to become a main character?

Get a fan installed. Or use a different bathroom yourself. I don't like ensuites for this reason.

You can’t dictate to a grown up which bathroom they use! You bought a house with an en-suite…and it’s being used for its intended purpose 🤷‍♀️