Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

[funnypost]

This is a funny one. We have 3 and a half bathrooms in our house. 3 upstairs and 1 little bathroom downstairs.

upstairs there are 2 en suites- one off the master bedroom and one off the guest room, plus a family bathroom.

I loathe walking into a bathroom and it being smelly. I just can’t deal with it. It’s gross.

at weekends, DH tends to do his business in the master en suite. But this is where all our stuff is. I hate not being able to go up there or if I really need to, having to breathe in the disgusting smell.

so I’ve asked him, why can’t you just use one of the bathrooms that’s just completely not in use ? Why do you need to use the bathroom that’s most in use by me and also near our bedroom, which also makes the idea of it gross.

I would just never dream of doing it. I try to be discreet and use one of the bathrooms that’s not got all our stuff in.

men just don’t think like this right ? My DH thinks I’m ridiculous but also finds it funny and has complied.

what does everyone think ? Do I sound like I have a stick up my bum ? I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up. DH thinks I’m ridiculous and that it’s a normal thing in life and I’m way too uptight.

YANBU at all OP!!

Me and DH have separate bathrooms, he sticks to his and I stick to mine!

So?!
I love my DH, I don't love the smell of fermented food waste and bacteria that exits his bowels in the morning. Those two things are completely unconnected. Thankfully my DH has standards and has never subjected me to his bodily functions even though he has IBS. It is possible to not be disgusting.

There’s a reason that there is a really common joke of “I’d give it 5 minutes if I were you” pretty much universally it is recognised that using a bathroom after someone has taken a smelly shit is unpleasant (apart from by a section of Mumsnet users who seem to see it as a bonding experience).

You have 4 loos, one is connected to your bedroom and has all of your things in it, it is most unpleasant for him to use that for a dump.

You can ask, and a decent person wouldn't even need to be asked would agree.

There is something creepy territorial about some men who happily inflict their shit smell on others. Like an animal shitting to let others know where they have been.

Don't be mad OP! People should be able to have a shit in peace in their own home! Get some air freshener or tell him to open the window.

Most people don’t have en suites, or a second bathroom … most people have 1 bathroom and manage just fine.

Close the door, open the window, and leave it half an hour … simple

But a key part of that is ‘five minutes’. The smell goes pretty quickly. Fine not to poo in the en suite if you’re both in the bedroom but any other time or in any other bathroom the smell should disappear, leaving the bathroom ready to use again.

Nah you don't shit in the en suite. That's like shitting in the wardrobe. It opens onto the bedroom FFS.

You need to look at his diet. If he makes that much of a toxic stench then his guts are unhappy. Healthy poop has an odour, but it doesn’t stink.

This has made me miss our old house where we had 3 toilets, including an en suite. Here we only have one.DH & I never thought to ask each other to use the main bathroom for a number 2 but it wouldn’t have been a problem at all.

We’re both very quick when shitting - in and out, so no lingering pongs. Bathroom windows are always open too. But he’s an extremely early riser and I’m not, so he doesn’t even go into the en-suite for a piss and will use a different bathroom.

Pretty sure if he has the extractor and window open the smell will be gone in a few minutes.

you’re being a bit OTT.

get ready in a different bathroom if you’re not a fan. But as you’re the one who doesn’t like them you’re the one who should move.

YADNBU! If he poos and it stinks then he should take his business elsewhere.

If you've got enough bathrooms to not inflict your smells on others, then it's considerate not to. If you only had one, you'd have to put up with it, but your presumably paid a lot of money for 3.5 bathrooms, so I see no reason to have to tolerate the same inconvenience as if you only had one.

It’s so disgusting to listen to oh grunting and pushing like he’s in labour in there… and then he emerges and floods the bedroom with the stench, especially if I’m still in bed. Beyond gross. I’d never do that to someone else!!!! I’d get stage fright trying to poop if I knew someone was on the other side of the door.

so now he uses the family bathroom.

and now the kids won’t use it so they traipse into my bedroom en suite. But the kids keep the bathroom clean!

I don’t see why we have to put up with really gross manners of others (if they are not doing what we’ve all been taught) - we are all taught to be discreet, clean, and leave spaces acceptable for others. If he can’t do it, out! You’re not being unreasonable here.

Nothing. But it’s a toilet. It’s what toilets are for. It’s an opinion on bathroom use. Some people on this thread agree, some don’t. C’est la vie.

Never liked the idea of an en suite. Who wants someone taking a big shit next to them.

I mean he's gross and inconsiderate. Who wants to stink their own en-suite, going directly into your bedroom.

That's the reason why houses have several toilets, it's bad enough to put a loo in a bathroom anyway. If you live in a studio flat, you don't have the choice but as soon as you can do better, you do.

If he doesn't want to make an effort, for himself to start with, and for you to show basic consideration, you can only relocate your stuff. You can't make him. It's his house, and he's just grim.

I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up.

Are you a cat? Maybe get him a litter box.

In our old house we had three bathrooms. DH and my son shared the first floor family bathroom, I had the loft conversion en-suite to myself, and DD had use of the ground floor loo / shower room. It was heavenly. I loved not sharing a bathroom with anyone.

Now we live in a house with two bathrooms, the kids share one, DH and I the other. I don’t relish walking in there after he’s been to the toilet but thankfully he is an afternoon pooper so I just use the kids’ for a quick wee if he’s been in there recently.

I consider loos in an en-suite to be there for back up or emergency - or possible guests or when you have guests and want to stay quiet. Not to be used if you can avoid them.

The UK obsession for keeping loos in an actual bathroom is disgusting.

Maybe everyone already does this to lessen smells but I only learnt it about a year ago:

1. Close lid before flushing
2. Check if cleaning or another flush is needed

3 Close lid again

This reduces both the smell strength and the dissipation time by about half.

You do sound a bit precious, yes. I don’t have 3.5 bathrooms so have to deal with smelling my DH and DC’s shit and vice versa. Nobody dies.

Nope. I’ve had spare bathrooms in houses before and I ‘sealed’ them off, never to be used. If someone used one I would have literally used crime scene tape to make sure it never happened again🤣. That way it was only a once a year wipe over and mop to get rid of dust, not a room that needs to be cleaned routinely. Fuck cleaning an extra toilet, I’d happily have him do it in the ensuite to limit the number of toilets needing cleaning.

YABU.

If you don't like it, why have an en suite in the first place?

Wouldn't have one for ready money.