Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

[funnypost]

This is a funny one. We have 3 and a half bathrooms in our house. 3 upstairs and 1 little bathroom downstairs.

upstairs there are 2 en suites- one off the master bedroom and one off the guest room, plus a family bathroom.

I loathe walking into a bathroom and it being smelly. I just can’t deal with it. It’s gross.

at weekends, DH tends to do his business in the master en suite. But this is where all our stuff is. I hate not being able to go up there or if I really need to, having to breathe in the disgusting smell.

so I’ve asked him, why can’t you just use one of the bathrooms that’s just completely not in use ? Why do you need to use the bathroom that’s most in use by me and also near our bedroom, which also makes the idea of it gross.

I would just never dream of doing it. I try to be discreet and use one of the bathrooms that’s not got all our stuff in.

men just don’t think like this right ? My DH thinks I’m ridiculous but also finds it funny and has complied.

what does everyone think ? Do I sound like I have a stick up my bum ? I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up. DH thinks I’m ridiculous and that it’s a normal thing in life and I’m way too uptight.

As you’re the one who has a problem with normal bodily functions, then it’s down to you to make the adjustments.

he’s not doing anything wrong.

Toilets exist for such functions. All of them. Not just the ones you choose for others.

So if you don’t like going into a bathroom where someone has shock horror used the toilet then it’s down to you to use a different one.

Shitting in the en suite is always a bit grim. I’m not really a fan of en suites in general but definitely not for number 2s other than in an emergency. If he insists on it get some Poo Pourri spray and tell him to use it before he goes, it really does work. But if I had several toilet options I wouldn’t be stinking out the one attached to our bedroom.

Marriage is also not having it your way all the time.

My husband always uses the main bathroom instead of our en-suite suite. I’ve never asked him to, but I really appreciate it :)

I think you are being a bit over sensitive unless he is shitting multiple times a day. Having said that I grew up in a house with one bathroom and three brothers, so I am use to the smell of bodily functions.

We have an ensuite with an excellent extractor fan and window to open. I can change my stoma in there (believe me, that is a smell from hell) and the air is clear in no time. My husband is respectful of me and just uses another loo if I’ve been in the ensuite (keep all my supplies in the ensuite and walk in wardrobe as it’s more convenient.

Lol, there’s 4 toilets in OPs house he doesn’t need to go in the garden.

What makes you think OP has her way all the time?

I think you are being a bit precious.

However, You are the one with a problem so why don't you come up with a solution since there is one given you have so many toilets.

Why don't you have one of the other bathrooms as "your own" Put your things in it and make it as nice a space as a bathroom can be. Then you don't have to share and your husband poo in peace.

This has blown my mind - I encourage my husband to close the en-suite door while he does a shit, otherwise he will try and talk to me while I’m in bed. He would absolutely think I’m bat shit if I asked him to use another loo. We clearly have very low boundaries!

Not a fan of en suites at all. Mind you,we only have one loo for everyone so it's not an issue here!

I have never given this a moment's thought.

Do you not just open the window and close the door to the ensuite after you? Just as you would in a different loo/bathroom.

Having said that, DH uses the main bathroom. I use the en-suite. Just the way it is. Our own spaces and it's helpful when we are both getting ready. If we need the loo otherwise we just use the closest one.

Is the issue here perhaps that in so many modern houses, there isn't really enough space for an en-suite which has grabbed essential wardrobe space and it adjoins too closely a rather small bedroom that doesn't properly warrant it.

I agree with you OP. We have an en-suite DH wouldn’t dream of using it for a poo, he always uses the family bathroom. I have never had to ask him, just something he has always done.

I hate bodily functions. I'm really squeamish. I sneakily put earplugs in when DH heads into the bathroom, because one hint of a grunt and I'm almost puking.

But, I think if you're an adult working hard to pay for your home, you should be able to shit in any toilet you bloody well like!

Wholeheartedly support you OP.

To a certain extent I agree. We only have one bathroom which everyone always seems to need at the same time, and coupled with that, I have often thought how unhygienic it is to actually poo inside one's house. Then I muse about getting the outside toilet re-plumbed in. Then I think how ironic that is, given that the measure of how civilised and wealthy we have become is that we no longer have outside loos!!

YANBU - this is exactly why I removed the toilet in our en suite… Three other toilets available so why on Earth would anyone not want to respect your reasonable request? What would happen if there was only one toilet: totally irrelevant.

You have a bunch of other toilets. He should definitely use another one.

Nobody should use an en suite for a shit unless they have no option. That's basic manners isn't it?

We had this setup in our previous house. The master en-suite had no window and all of our toiletries in it. The other en-suite had a window, and was in a bedroom that we used as an office. I asked DH to use that one, and he did—he was able to take his long poos undisturbed and open the window. It’s not an unreasonable request IMO.

YABU for tricking me into thinking you're trying to get him to run a business from the spare loo.

You shouldn't even need airfresher etc. Nis it unventilated or something? Just get proper fan.

I would assume many people have favourite poop bathroom. DH and I do too. But we installed good fans. Toilet out of the main way is actually uite logical choice.

But who does like going to a bathroom that stinks of shit? Or relaxing in bed with a coffee while a massive stink drifts in? All this can be avoided!

Nobody is allowed to poo in our en-suite loo apart from me, DH and 2 teen DSs use the main bathroom or downstairs loo. They take ages and our en-suite doesn’t have a window and a not great extractor fan, I’m quick and efficient so I’m allowed, they all take an age so it’s a no! The shower is much better hence why DSs use it at all

I don't get people saying OP is being unreasonable. Different people have different thresholds for disgust, and you can't really change that. Obviously if there was only one bathroom they'd need another solution, but with four loos to choose from it's fair to say please use one which isn't so often in use for poops. In our situation we've got an en suite and a family bathroom. No windows in either (new build flat) and the extractor fans have never worked very well (new build flat). We do coordinate on which bathroom we each poo in depending on when the other person is going to be using it. The electric toothbrush is in the ensuite and brushing my teeth in poop stench is a pretty awful experience. Also we're short on time in the mornings so there's not the option to wait for the smell to dissipate.