Just need some assurance I didn't do anything wrong - Content Warning concerns DV.(added by MNHQ)

[Andoutcomethewolves]

About an hour ago I went to the bathroom and when I came back my H was spreadegeled over the entire bed so there was no room for me. I shoved him a few times (not hard, just jiggling his shoulder and prodding his arm to try and wake him up) and ended up shouting at him to move to one side or the other so I could actually get into bed. For context he does this to me regularly - it's a small double and easy to take up too much space but whenever he says it to me I just move. Or I usually go and sleep on the sofa but I currently have a fractured coccyx which is really sore and have important work stuff to do tomorrow so a proper night's sleep in a comfortable bed was really important.

He eventually woke up, screamed in my face that I was a bitch and punched me, hard, on my fractured coccyx multiple times. I'm now in so much pain I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Apparently I deserved it because I shoved him and asked him to move to the other side of the bed. Meanwhile he's now happily snoring away.

I'm honestly so upset. And he's going to expect me to do the work stuff tomorrow (well, today) as I'm the breadwinner.

I want to escape this relationship right now but I don't know how.

“he screamed in my face that I was a bitch and punched me, hard, on my fractured coccyx multiple times.”
“he's going to expect me to do the work stuff tomorrow (well, today) as I'm the breadwinner.”
”none of my friends or family like him because of the way he talks to me.”

So what exactly does this prince among men have going for him? You injured your coccyx due to his poor behaviour (I would not be impressed if DH got drunk and pissed all over the floor); he has made your injury worse by punching you (DV - don’t let him try to normalise it to you) and is disliked by your friends and family, which is a huge red flag. You need to leave. If you’re the breadwinner, are you in a position to rent your own flat while you decide your best line of action? Please, OP, don’t stay with this pig of a man who clearly has so little concern for you or your well-being.

Be brave OP. Be very quiet about what you do but be brave. You have had all the signs you need to know that he isn't good for you so you must act on this. You have the upper hand financially. You have loving family. Even a fold up bed at your family home would get you away from him. Wishing you all the best xxxx

Can a friend come over to help you get your things together ready to go to an air bnb?.
I appreciate this isn’t a long term solution, but it gets you away from him. You can then look for place to rent / buy.

I hope you take on board pp advice and see how awful this man is to you. He caused you to have an accident, he should be beyond apologetic and doing all he can to make you comfortable, not being a selfish arse who shouts in your face and hits you. He knows you’re in pain ffs. That’s beyond evil

Leave OP, get help from family and friends and leave.

Oh god it’s you OP. Not only are are you still there, it’s got so so so much worse. 💔

Is this the same loser you've posted about ad nauseam before? The one with no teeth? Whom you bought festival tickets for?

Ha, yes I know I've posted too much about my situation. What can I say, I'm weak.

Try to post less identifying detail this time 😕

You need to get out. Surely your friends if you did somehow end up on a call to them via the organisations would be supportive. They also would have to remain professional when giving advice so please don't be afraid to make contact.

You say family are supportive too, so surely it would be better moving back to them and sleeping on a mattress on the floor in the short term (doesn't sound like you have a great deal of space on the bedroom with this bloke anyway).

You say you have a home but family are living in it. You need to review this. Is it owned by you outright or on a buy to let mortgage? Is the tendency agreement private or did you go through an agent?
You need to start giving them notice you need your property back.

You just need to be strong and make those first steps. The fact you have a home and a decent job (say you are the breadwinner) shows you are a smart and capable person. This man is trying to destroy you and make you feel otherwise. Do not let him win. Good luck planning your exit.

Yep. I just don't seem to have the strength to extricate myself.

I like the idea of going to a hotel. I hope this is what you're doing. But not after you go to hospital!
Please get out before he hurts you worse. xxx

I'm so sorry. But please be careful, a lot of posters identified you last time. I hope you get the help you need.

Your friends at Women's Aid - why don't you want to tell them?

I don't really care. I'm not embarrassed of my situation. If colleagues recognise me then meh.

Same here kids bunk together or something but no matter what we would find space to put a friend or family member that was going threw this.
A few years back I had a friend and her son stay for a few months they used my sitting room has their bedroom.

Absolutely, 1000% agree. There are no redeeming features here OP, and I guarantee that everyone else in your life will be thrilled to help you.

I‘m sorry but you need professional mental health help.

You have a house. It’s not your responsibility to house your brother. He surely wouldn’t want you getting beaten up just so he can have a house?

So you tell your brother:

a) make space and I’m moving in
b) you have 3 months notice to find somewhere.
c) you sell the house and help your brother with a deposit and buy a flat for yourself.

You can’t carry on like this OP

OP consider the freedom programme after you have left this man. He sounds awful and you don't deserve this. It's not your fault in any way. You need to pull all your strength together and stay somewhere else. Then call the police and get the ball rolling.

She can and she will - these are very long-standing problems and she has been posting about them for years 😕

This will be your life forever if you don't do something - you get one life - don't make it a miserable one. Find that inner strength and be happy.

Leave now!!!

You have posted about this man for years, please let this be the reason you finally leave him.

Imagine your best friend/daughter/sister was in this situation and told you about it.
What advice would you give?

Follow that advice. Leave now.

You have agency OP.
And you life really doesn't have to be like this.
Leave him and never look back

Her brother lives in her house and she funds her sister's lifestyle - she's everyone's doormat unfortunately 😕. But they come from a very dysfunctional background.

Let me guess
wanker