Just need some assurance I didn't do anything wrong - Content Warning concerns DV.(added by MNHQ)

[Andoutcomethewolves]

About an hour ago I went to the bathroom and when I came back my H was spreadegeled over the entire bed so there was no room for me. I shoved him a few times (not hard, just jiggling his shoulder and prodding his arm to try and wake him up) and ended up shouting at him to move to one side or the other so I could actually get into bed. For context he does this to me regularly - it's a small double and easy to take up too much space but whenever he says it to me I just move. Or I usually go and sleep on the sofa but I currently have a fractured coccyx which is really sore and have important work stuff to do tomorrow so a proper night's sleep in a comfortable bed was really important.

He eventually woke up, screamed in my face that I was a bitch and punched me, hard, on my fractured coccyx multiple times. I'm now in so much pain I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Apparently I deserved it because I shoved him and asked him to move to the other side of the bed. Meanwhile he's now happily snoring away.

I'm honestly so upset. And he's going to expect me to do the work stuff tomorrow (well, today) as I'm the breadwinner.

I want to escape this relationship right now but I don't know how.

Ah sorry,just read that you slipped on his piss on the floor. Even more reason to report him.

It's in my bank account

I work short term contract jobs out of choice, I'm not in work now but get new contracts easily. I'm fine financially.

Fine enough to rent a studio or one-bed flat in the short-term?

@Andoutcomethewolves are you safe right now?

Can you confide in one of your siblings? One of the ones who has blocked him?

Please you need to pack your bags and get out immediately before he kills you.

Use that £10K of savings to rent somewhere. NOW!

Please swallow your pride and confide in someone in real life. You say you don’t want “counselling sessions” from your friends, but you need HELP

Right, I need to clarify some things clearly. This is not fiction. I was brought up in vehicles/caravans, taken out of school at 13 and yes, I am now a lawyer (currently between jobs as I do FTCs out of choice). My brother lives in my house with his family and there's no room there and I'm not going to evict them because the rent they pay is about half of market rent and they'd need to leave the city if they didn't have the house. I would say I had a dysfunctional childhood and that has affected me.

Re my husband, all but one of my siblings have blocked him (though she doesn't really engage). My dad hates him. My mum is a people pleaser and talks to him all the time about me which I hate because she then comes back to me saying I should be a better wife as he's sad 🙄. And yes, my dad was close friends with one of the Millennium Dome Diamond Heist gang to whoever it was that mentioned that. My family is pretty messed up.

Any other questions please ask. I can even DM you my LinkedIn post that went viral if you don't think I'm real

Sorry if you are bored of hearing about my situation but sometimes I just need to vent.

Not in Bristol unfortunately as you need evidence of having a wage coming in

Thank you to everyone who's been nice. I know I've posted before and I get the frustration of those who recognise me from previous threads but it's really not as easy as 'just leave'

No, it's never as easy as just leave.

However, I say this kindly, you've been given so much good advice on this thread and you have come up with a reason you can't do any of it.

Yes his dad may engage a lawyer. You are a lawyer, you know lawyers, you know the law, you have the advantage there.

You have friends who work at women's aid so won't call in case you are referred to one of them, even though you could use your words and explain you would rather be anonymous.

You have a house with a family member living in it (paying half market rent) who does not like your husband. You say there's no room, but I'm betting if you told him your husband had physically assaulted you, he'd find room for the sister who gives him cheap housing, even if it were the couch for a couple of weeks.

You say your mum would have you back in a caravan, but won't go cos she'll side with a man who assaulted her daughter. Does she know he's abusive, emotionally and now physically?

It's never easy to leave, but you do seem to be finding problems where there is actually solutions.

If you’re in Bristol you don’t need to call Women’s Aid you can go direct to Safelink: https://safelinksupport.co.uk/

You can get out of this situation but I think you’re going to need to take a leap of faith and do things outside your comfort zone.

This organisation might be useful too: https://women.travellermovement.org.uk/

Call someone, get out of there, go to hospital please. To deliberately punch repeatedly is complete abuse and he knows your medical condition.

No excuse of too small a bed, woken up half asleep, you don't do that.

Wishing you best of luck, so sorry, please report back. Xxx

My brother and his wife would absolutely have me to stay. But they have two small (feral🤣) kids and I don't think it's an environment I would want to be in at the moment. My sister has previously put me up for weeks but is now being investigated for subletting by her landlord (not about me, about another friend, but she's understandably anxious) so I'm not able to go there. I can't cope with my mum's anxiety right now, if I tell her the full story it will then become all about her and how she's so worried, can't sleep, but also so worried about H (she did this with my ex when she knew he was physically abusing me).

I'm not rejecting advice (and I appreciate it) but if you're not in my situation you don't know what the realistic options are.

I might just get a hotel tbh.

I'm not actually worried about his dad saying he'll get a lawyer btw. Just a bit upset that someone who I know very well and who knows I've funded his son for years (because he funded him previously 🙄) would say that.

Thank you, I'll look into these 🤎

Two of those are you deciding they aren't options you want, rather than them being unsuitable because of the people though.

Sometimes, the best option isn't what you want but what you need.

Honestly I just can't cope with my mum's tendency to make everything about her, or my brother's kids (I love them but I'd be on the sofa so they'd be there from 6am trying to make me play etc). Neither of those things are what I need.

I've booked a hotel for the next two nights.

You won't want to hear this but all of the men in your life are using you as a resource. And your partner is using you as a punching bag.
I hope you use the time in the hotel to catch your breath, then take the next step. And then the next one. You need to learn to walk away and look after yourself because you don't seem to have anyone else in your life who is prepared to stand up for you.

Two nights is no good! A permanent solution is required.

Given since this thread the Op has been all over mumsnet threads posting about raw mushrooms in a salad; nice soft drinks, offering careers advice; holidays … looks like she’s moved on.

It is easy to leave when you have Money. Go on air bubbles or booking.com and get a longterm booking until you get another contract and can get a flat!.

I post on lots of threads and have done since circa 2009. It's an escape from reality for me. Doesn't change my lived situation currently.

Hope you enjoyed trawling through my posts though.

Op I have wasted so much time on your past threads I’ve run out of steam.

Your husband left you and moved out not so long ago because of your explosive tendencies.

You need RL support. For yourself.