My daughter wants to go abroad without me

[Protectivemama]

My daughter will be finishing secondary school next year and will have just turned 16. She wants to go on holiday after she leaves to go to Benidorm with her cousin, aged 23, who's offered to pay for the entire thing and will be taking her 2 yr old. My daughter has never been abroad before and neither me or her dad will be in the position to go. It's not that I don't want her to have such a wonderful opportunity but I think she is still far too young and not mature enough to be travelling abroad without parents so I've said no. For context, me and dad have been separated for many years and I hardly know the cousin(his side of the family) anymore but my daughter is very close to her. My daughter's safety is the most important thing in the world to me so when I think of all the things that could go wrong it reinforces this belief but AIBU??

At 16 your daughter is able to go alone, surely?

OP she's 16 and going with a responsible adult (and a 2 year old!) What are you worried about?

She’s 16. She’s more than old enough to go in the circumstances you describe.
Dont hold her back because of your anxiety or because you haven’t done it, you’ll lose her.

She's not going alone, she will be with an adult. Yabu.

Are they trekking through the unknown regions of the Amazon forest or staying at a resort, possibly on an all inclusive basis? If the latter, she'll probably be safer than she is at home! The cousin is a parent, so presumably responsible and in a resort everything's likely to be at hand, not to mention they'll probably be surrounded by English speaking holiday makers and staff who can help out if needed. Plus, you'll only be a phone call, money transfer or text away.

I would have been a bit worried if it was her and her mates going but it’s her adult cousin who has a baby. Surely too much can’t go wrong?

YABU.

I would be more on the fence if it was a friend’s trip all similar ages and maybe peer pressuring each other to behave irresponsibly but she’s going with an adult and a 2 year old! The chances that there will be any opportunity for dangerous activities is practically zero!

You’re being unreasonable. She is going with a cousin who has a young child- so no concerns for late night in appropriate drinking. She’s close to this cousin, and obviously her dad trusts them. I think k you’d be a bit silly to say no, and I’m also not sure if she’s 16 if you actually can ban her from going.

Why would a 23 year old pay for a 16 year old to go on holiday with her and her 2 year old?

No, as you can’t book accommodation (apart from youth hostels) at that age.

YABU, she's going with her cousin and her 2 year old.

It's hardly a drink fuelled hen party.

To babysit whilst 23 yo goes out clubbing.

Parenting means letting go and allowing your child to be an adult.

she will be 16 and with a close cousin for an amazing trip

yes you let her go

My worry with somewhere like Benidorm is that she’d meet a group of older teens and go off drinking with them.

Its a party place, she’s 16 - she’s not going to want to stay in with her cousin and a toddler every evening.

I don’t know OP, I don’t think I’d be comfortable either.

Quite possibly because her 23 year old mates are likely to want a boozy holiday, and that's not what she wants when she has a toddler with her?

On her own?

Quite likely that it won't cost the cousin any more to take the 16 year old. Single parent would be paying for two adults anyway in most cases as hotel prices are based on two adults sharing , or have single supplements. She may also get a free child place if there's two adults, and 16yr old would qualify as adult for hotel and flights.

Same

Depends on the cousin tbh and their relationship with the 16yo.

If the 23yo is a bit of an idiot and likely to dump 2 year old on the 16yo of a night...the nope.

If 23 yo is a nice young lady and just wants to see her favourite cousin who she's been close to have her first ever holiday abroad and she can facilitate that with her auntie's blessing. And they'll have fun with 2 year old in the pool, on the beach, going to explore the local town during the day and back for chilled evenings... Then great.

You have a whole year to get to know the cousin.

She 16... Not 6.

16 year olds baby sit all the time.

They’re taking a 2 year old with them, it’s not like they’ll be hitting the clubs and bars every night is it?? Let her go, you’re definitely being unreasonable.

I would let her go , can’t imagine it’s going to be a wild holiday with a 2 year old there and her cousin would enjoy your dd’s company by the sound of it .

Well... The 23 yo might if she has a convenient babysitter...

This. What’s the motive of the 23 year old here? Why is she willing to pay for the 16 year old? Are they great mates (despite the age gap) or is the 23 year old just wanting a free babysitter while she goes off and has a wild time? What kind of person is she?