My daughter wants to go abroad without me

[Protectivemama]

My daughter will be finishing secondary school next year and will have just turned 16. She wants to go on holiday after she leaves to go to Benidorm with her cousin, aged 23, who's offered to pay for the entire thing and will be taking her 2 yr old. My daughter has never been abroad before and neither me or her dad will be in the position to go. It's not that I don't want her to have such a wonderful opportunity but I think she is still far too young and not mature enough to be travelling abroad without parents so I've said no. For context, me and dad have been separated for many years and I hardly know the cousin(his side of the family) anymore but my daughter is very close to her. My daughter's safety is the most important thing in the world to me so when I think of all the things that could go wrong it reinforces this belief but AIBU??

no... as you would have understood if you had actually read what I was replying to - I did not see any baby or children in general because no one ever brought any.

And none of the friends or people I know had, or have, kids in their 20s. So?

And MATURE students might have had kids by then, but they didn't bring them at uni. And as the name should make it clear, they were not 20 year old students anyway.

No-one takes their kids to lectures... doesn't mean they aren't parents. How bizarre that you'd think that..

Thanks everyone for taking the time to post comments. It's given me quite a bit to think about. For the record it's not a case of FOMO. I've travelled abroad plenty of times but I have two other children of school age, work 5/6 days a week and may be having spinal surgery in the coming months. My dd is also asthmatic. I've never had the opportunity to take them abroad due to various reasons but it would be a dream to be able to. As I've already said the thought of her going abroad for the first time, without me to protect is so scary but I know she would love it. I don't want to hold her back but I will worry so much.

My only concern is that she is being invited as a babysitter.
Other than that it would be a great opportunity for her. You ensure she has any meds she needs and the 23 year old knows how to contact the local emergency services. Also she takes a note of her condition and the meds she is on in case she does require medical assistance.
Don't make your concerns a big drama, however difficult it is for you.. keep your comments/suggestions practical.

@Protectivemama parenting your child from teen onwards is scary and it is a worry and all we want to do is protect them.
But they aren’t always going to be a child we can wrap up in cotton wool and protect forever we have to let them go and spread their wings

Because they have a close relationship and maybe she’s a single mom who doesn’t want to go alone?

Sorry, but this is a you problem. You shouldn't let your worries prevent your daughter from doing things. She's growing up, she's going to worry you, thats normal. Stopping her because of worries, that's stifling her.

Lol I was going with different family members from age 13 abroad and had best times ever. My parents saw it as an opportunity they couldn't afford to do but wanted me to have

I was replying to the poster who said she was seeing kids and babies on campus, but whatever

Entirely unreasonable of you. Like, 100%.
You’re not in a position to take her abroad yourself, and yet are denying her the opportunity of someone else doing it.
That’s just selfish and wrong and she’s hardly going to thank you for it.
Is it too late to see sense and change your mind?

In the situation described I would let her. My 18 and 20 year old did 3 months travelling together around Europe scary but amazing for them.

There is a big difference between a 16 year old and an 18-20 year old. Personally I wouldn’t, and I suspect she will be used as an unpaid babysitter every night.