To think my husband is being unreasonable

[householddog]

im on a diet since having a baby 9 months ago I wouldn’t really call it a diet just cutting out rubbish and making healthier choices. Last month my husband asked if I wanted anything from the shop. I said yes grab me something nice he came back with chocolate and crisps galore. I thanked him but said I couldn’t eat any of this as I’m eating healthy. He then said well what could he have got me and I said my favourite magazine a melon some nice bubble bath some flowers etc. I’ve done so well to loose some weight so far I’m not huge but the biggest I’ve ever been and since having the baby I had resorted to sugar to keep me going and relying on snacks for fuel. Today he text me while I was in the middle of dealing with the baby and preparing dinner to ask if I want anything so I text back saying yes please a treat would be lovely surprise me. I had to rush off as baby was crying and then left my phone up stairs so couldn’t say what I wanted. Hes come back with chocolate galore again profiteroles Pringles and sweets. I said I can’t eat any of that but that I appreciate the thought. I’ve had a hard day with the baby I’m also in a lot of pain with my period on codine and taking morphine when he’s home to keep an eye on the baby. I just wanted a nice treat and he’s done it again. He also randomly brings home junk and offers it to me and I say no. I haven’t fully restrained myself I had some cake at my mums birthday I also had some pudding when out just us too for our anniversary. But I’ve made it very clear that I’m being really determined at home. He says I’m being unreasonable and how was he to know as I didn’t say what I wanted

Feels like it's probably less about the junk food and more about not feeling heard/supported etc. You have a young baby which is when you want to be heard and supported the most. But your husband can only go on what you tell him, and in in this case buy you what he thinks a treat is.

Think you are being quite hard on yourself by putting pressure on yourself to lose weight already. You have enough going on looking after a baby, and everything that comes with it, restricting yourself atm is probably something else to think about/worry about and not make you feel great.

Ungrateful much???!!!!

Same!!!

I think it stems from the fact I feel he doesn’t no me very well or care to remember what I like. He’s not romantic at all. We’ve been married a long time and had he actually gone to the shop and got me junk food I like he should know that I’m a savoury junk food person. Think that’s where it stems from I should have communicated to him better about what I wanted. Every day I mention I’m not eating rubbish. It also gets discussed when we both meal plan or do the food shop. yes I did have some cake at family birthday and on our date night but I made it clear it was some off. I should have said what I wanted but struggle to understand how he just doesn’t know me that well at the moment we are going through a rough patch I’m craving more romance and affection and not getting it.

Hmmm he is a man!! It needs spelling out for them, have a word tomorrow, hopefully he starts behaving then, you need support right now I can see xx

What does a posh sponge look like?

Just imagining your DH brandishing a bouquet of fragranced, multicoloured, heart shaped sponges 🤔

I am 71 years old and have been dating/involved with/married to various men since I was 15. Occasionally I still forget that, in general, they can't see what's right in front of them, what is super important to you seems irrelevant to them, and they have a very selective memory, so although they can tell you every name in the 1966 England World Cup squad, including reserves, they will be totally unable to remember your birthday/anniversary, child's school play, or when the window cleaner needs paying. Unles he is on a diet himself, when he will bore the pants off you telling you about every calorie he has or hasn't consumed, he has no concept of what constitutes a good or bad diet, and your DH obviously loves junk food. Buy your own nice treats and hide them so others don't use them.

I once saw a range of colourful star-shaped sponges with faces on them randomly in the middle of a completely non-toiletries-related aisle in Morrison's.

They were labelled as 'fun sponges'. I presume it must have been entirely coincidental that the sponges just happened to bear a starkly uncanny likeness to Jacob Rees-Mogg!

It can be difficult for partners to adapt to changes in diet. Especially if theyou see treats as chocolate/unhealthy food choices. Help your partner by being specific; Fruit salad/grapes/kiwi fruit/strawbs would be good.
Mixed messages don't work with diets and your attitudes need to shift to healthy food is a treat.

Ypu know the ones where the scrubby bit actually stays on for the whole week before chucking it.

I have to ask, why does your doctor prescribe morphine for period pains, especially as you have a young baby?

RTFT

"Surprise me" "not like that"

YABU say what you want if there's things you don't want. If someone said they wanted a treat while I was buying food I'd buy them treat food.

Sorry Yabu

Hes nipping to a shop not going to a department store so if someone said to me something nice I’d presume a nice food treat.

you need to say something nice non food related

Men are simple creatures . My husband still asks me if I take milk in herbal tea after a years of explaining it only goes in English tea and early grey lol.

He wants you to stay overweight, b/c (in his eyes) overweight you will not be as attractive as slimmer you, and other men may find slimmer you attractive.

This is a man we are talking about - psych yourself up to request one item (like a one item command to a dog). That should do it.