To think my husband is being unreasonable

[householddog]

im on a diet since having a baby 9 months ago I wouldn’t really call it a diet just cutting out rubbish and making healthier choices. Last month my husband asked if I wanted anything from the shop. I said yes grab me something nice he came back with chocolate and crisps galore. I thanked him but said I couldn’t eat any of this as I’m eating healthy. He then said well what could he have got me and I said my favourite magazine a melon some nice bubble bath some flowers etc. I’ve done so well to loose some weight so far I’m not huge but the biggest I’ve ever been and since having the baby I had resorted to sugar to keep me going and relying on snacks for fuel. Today he text me while I was in the middle of dealing with the baby and preparing dinner to ask if I want anything so I text back saying yes please a treat would be lovely surprise me. I had to rush off as baby was crying and then left my phone up stairs so couldn’t say what I wanted. Hes come back with chocolate galore again profiteroles Pringles and sweets. I said I can’t eat any of that but that I appreciate the thought. I’ve had a hard day with the baby I’m also in a lot of pain with my period on codine and taking morphine when he’s home to keep an eye on the baby. I just wanted a nice treat and he’s done it again. He also randomly brings home junk and offers it to me and I say no. I haven’t fully restrained myself I had some cake at my mums birthday I also had some pudding when out just us too for our anniversary. But I’ve made it very clear that I’m being really determined at home. He says I’m being unreasonable and how was he to know as I didn’t say what I wanted

It sounds like you have an eating disorder. Unless you are under 5 foot 'pusbinh 10 stone' is not ballooning.

Sorry but I think you're being unreasonable, chocolate or cake is what most people would think of as a treat, if you want melon just say what you want.

He got you something you weren't eating by mistake you told him what you wanted in future and he made the same "mistake?" That sounds like deliberate diet sabotage or he just cba to remember that your on a diet and in all fairness treating yourself on your anniversary and your mothers birthday is not a sign that your not serious about dieting

It sounds like he's trying to sabotage your efforts, especially since you have now spelled out what you would like after the first time.

The world is full of people who say - don't get me any chocolate - but then scoff a load of chocolate, or indeed go nuts if husband doesn't mindread and get them chocolate even when they've claimed they don't want any. Don't read too much into this and don't say the 'surprise me' thing again. Just communicate better and then he'll get you what you want.

Yeah OP I think this is just a miscommunication. You need to be more specific even if it’s just to say “a healthy treat”.

If I asked my DH to bring me a treat home and he brought a fucking melon I’d LTB

Well, a melon is a treat here. As are strawberries, any berries actually, mangoes, dates. They're very expensive!

No sorry I'm with DH. If somebody texts you from the shop asking if you want anything and you say a treat then tbh choc or crisps or something is a reasonable thing to buy.

Just say you don't want junk food in the house so you aren't tempted to break your commitment to yourself. And in general if someone is popping to the shops and asks if you want anything they mean snacks. It's not like you say it when you're popping to IKEA or something. Be more specific and get more of what you want!

I haven't read all the replies, but if I said get me something nice I would assume some chocolate or posh crisps. I personally would get some chocolate or nuts or snacks type things if someone asked me.to get them a treat. I wouldn't expect a mag (would be nice though haha, but always the chance you'd get a shit mag) hope you feel better soon x

You definitely need to communicate better. Either pause for 20 seconds and actually send that message (the baby won't combust if you leave it crying for seconds), or hand baby over to DH and go to the shop yourself. Alternatively, have healthy food in, so that when he says do you want anything, you can say no thank you.

YABU he's not a mind reader just tell him what you want.

Treat definitely means cake, chocolate etc. if you wanted something else you should have asked for it. How on earth was he to know you wanted bubble bath and a melon!

YABU. Just tell him what you want.

He’s not a mind reader. If I asked for a ‘treat’ and my bf came back with melon I’d be pissed right off

Yabu, if you want fruit ask for fruit

Congratulations on your baby. Endometriosis sucks. You need to spell out to him exactly what you want. If you say surprise me it’s not his fault if he gets it wrong. He’s trying, he’s just not got the hang of it. Give him a list of things you’d like for him to choose from. He’s clearly out of his depth knowing how to cater to your diet.

Morphine ? A controlled drug for period pain ?
Who on earth prescribed that for you OP?
You do know you shouldn't be in charge of machinery while on this, let alone be in charge of a baby .

Ffs seriously.

@MaryGreenhillits not just period pain it’s endometriosis Google it. I only take the morphine when I’m in severe need with someone at home with me to watch baby too

Sorry I do call it period pain as everyone around me knows it’s when I’m on my period and from the endometriosis I should call it endo pain

Take no notice. Some of these replies are just harsh x

No your DH isn't being unreasonable.

If you don't know what you want how on earth is he supposed to know, "grab me something nice" isn't going to get you a melon and a magazine as clearly it's not what he would associate with being "something nice"

Next time maybe just say "no thank you"
and leave it at that.

People on diets have unhealthy treats occasionally. I’d be annoyed if I asked my hubby for a treat and he didn’t come home with something tasty like chocolate or ice cream. On a different note, I hate it when someone says to surprise me. Such a waste of mental effort trying to guess what someone has in mind