To think there’s a real crisis in men being able to express how they truly feel about life and society?

[TheGentleSwan]

It feels like, in the West, men are struggling to be honest about their emotions, their frustrations, and how they view the world. Whether it’s societal pressure, fear of judgement, or just a lack of spaces to talk openly, it seems like many men keep things bottled up. AIBU to think this is a real issue?

Men’s mental health is an issue, yes. They have all the space they need to talk though. It’s just conditioning that stops them. I don’t think this is for women to solve.

Hmm. I’m not sure. I think we are all sick of men and their opinions to be honest. I think on the whole men have no issue whatsoever giving their views on things, even when it’s unwanted.

(And yep I know mental health is a slightly different issue, my own dh has severe depression and is on life long anti depressants).

No.

I think there's a lot of very toxic influences for men. Agree that I don't think that women can really solve that.

A VAST majority of public discourse is dominated by men. As is a vast amount of private discourse.

if they can’t express their feelings they should sort themselves out - they have the power to shape society

Mainly for those on social media.

I think things have moved on. The majority of men seem adept at using therapy speak to justify treating women terribly nowadays.

I think that for good, kind men, life is very challenging just now.

They have to deal with the awful men too and are stuck between the justifiably angry women and the awful men. It's very fiddly.

One thing we don't go short of ime is hearing what men are frustrated by and what they believe to be wrong with the world. Its pretty much constant messaging, either verbally or via their behaviour. To suggest they have no platform when they're front and centre of everything all the time is not in my view reasonable at all. I think what they may be finding is that they are probably not as good as listening as they are at talking, so don't tend to hear each other. So the ones with the most power continue to do as they choose with no regard for those further down the pecking order.

I think you're right that many men struggle to express emotions. We're often raised/socialised with the view that the only acceptable emotions that can be expressed are happiness and anger. I've recently attended a personal and professional development course aimed at men where this is a topic that came up a lot.

There are a fair number of efforts underway to encourage men to speak up. It's certainly a lot better than it was 30 years ago when I could have done with something like that.

This is a male problem whose solution needs to be, and is, spearheaded by men. But I have to say that the toxic views of what men should be like aren't solely held by men. There's a fair number of women out there who are repulsed by the idea of a man showing vulnerability or weakness and that doesn't help.

Men are making remarkable steps to improve this.
as said above, it is conditioned into them
not a new thing

No i think there is absolutely no shortage of men expressing their opinions on everything, everywhere, all the time.

I’m a bit tired of hearing this

work in mh and you will see the difference in how men are treated compared to women. It’s certainly with more compassion

it’s not for women to fix this if so many men are unhappy with how society is they have far more power to make changes

I think this is a problem. A lot of women are so sick of men's shit that there are inevitably going to be times where we can't muster sympathy even when it's deserved.

Men having any negativity from a system they set up, and benefit from really isn't an issue in my eyes.

I'll keep my sympathies for people who are oppressed in a society that was never built for them.

They seem very adept at venting their frustrations given crime statistics. They make up the majority of journalists, political commentators, producers, directors, CEOs, managers, politicians and dominate the internet. We hear a lot of men's views 24/7.

You mean, men are facing the consequences of their own actions?

Maybe if men stopped killing their partners, they’d have someone to talk to and express themselves with :)

@TheGentleSwan the resources are there though

I don't know what you feel can be done or should be done. I noticed you said "the West" but I don't know if things are any different anywhere else.

There's a lot of toxic discourse around everything everywhere. I think there's been a huge problem with children being exposed to it and those children are now growing up and I guess struggling.

But people like me who raised concerns about it years ago, were told we were being incredibly stupid. I think I was told to shut up particularly because I don't have kids.

But being exposed to everything online is quite damaging for adults so how anybody thought children would handle it? I really don't know.

There's a big mess going on, but I don't think it's specific to men.

I think feelings (other than anger) are still tricky for many men, but too many and still very happy to hold forth on nonsense ideas about society (eg 'Women are in charge of everything/DEI is unfair to me/I can't even talk to a woman now in case I'm arrested for harrassment' etc

Yeah, I might be looking at it through this lens as well

A thread that has already answered and given examples of why men don't open up about their emotions.

That kind of response is exactly why some men shut down and don’t talk. Holding men accountable is essential but mocking vulnerability just reinforces the silence we’re supposedly trying to break.

I don't know who you are or why you thought this would garner much sympathy on Mumsnet

Weird. I've heard incels make very similar observations about women.

Blimey I’ve never met a man who is afraid to give his opinion on absolutely anything, whether you asked for it or not.
I generally wish a lot of them would stfu.