To think there’s a real crisis in men being able to express how they truly feel about life and society?

[TheGentleSwan]

It feels like, in the West, men are struggling to be honest about their emotions, their frustrations, and how they view the world. Whether it’s societal pressure, fear of judgement, or just a lack of spaces to talk openly, it seems like many men keep things bottled up. AIBU to think this is a real issue?

But who would actually say that to a man's face?

if a male friend comes to me and says he needs to talk, I might have opinions on men in general, but I'm just going to give him the space to talk. I'm sure that's true of anyone who makes spicy comments on this thread.

and the comment you've quoted is not "mocking vulnerability". It's just a comment on men in general.

I actually agree with a lot of what you’ve said, especially about the broader mess and the effects of online exposure on everyone, not just men. You’re right that it’s not exclusive to men and that the discourse around so many things has become warped.

When I mentioned men specifically, I wasn’t trying to exclude others - I just think there’s a particular stigma men face when it comes to expressing vulnerability or disillusionment, especially in a world where they’re often assumed to be fine or the problem. It’s not about excusing anyone but more about acknowledging that silence can grow in the cracks where people feel like they won’t be heard or taken seriously.

Except this isn't about opinions, this is about how someone feels.
If you just want men to STFU then you get the issues that we have now.

My opinion on this hasn't changed
Society needs to change and that means everybody.

Women need to change to make men feel better?

Wtf.

I suspect that "comment on men in general" is said in the open, at family gatherings around friends, in the pub, club or doing hobbies etc.

Its not hard to see why men don't open up.

That’s fair, most people would respond supportively if a male friend opened up. But I think there’s a disconnect between how people say they’d respond one on one and the kind of sweeping, hostile tone often used in public conversations about men. When the general discourse is full of sarcasm or blame, it creates an environment where men assume they’ll be ridiculed or dismissed, especially if they already feel vulnerable. That doesn’t mean individual people aren’t kind, it means the broader tone can still be a barrier.

Have you been on the internet OP???

It’s full of men voicing their emotions, frustrations and how they view the world!!

Basically it’s all women’s fault 🤷🏻‍♀️

I disagree. They're cleaning up- they have their pick of women because the competition is so dire, and we're all so grateful to them because they clear a pretty low bar.

Beware the man who sees himself as a good guy though. I dated one of these recently. "Oh you're traumatised from previous relationships? That's so unfair on me that I have to pick up the pieces from other men!" This rapidly progressed to passive aggressive comments about nice guys being friend zoned (to his actual girlfriend, wtf), and then shaming me for my sexual history. Such a good guy 🙄.

As if we're not already bending over backwards to be sympathetic to all their ishoos 🙄 (and the compliment is rarely returned).

Wtf

Just in case you missed it, I said everybody.

It is a whole society issue.

You see arguments about, say, what Trump is up to, Russia's invasion of Ukraine, Israel vs Hamas, the impact of AI, the lingering economic effects of COVID etc as blaming women? Really?

Exactly. The only thing stopping men from expressing their feelings is men themselves and patriarchal conditioning. They’re the only ones who can solve it.

Sure, there’s plenty of noise online but not all expression is the same as honest emotional processing. A lot of what you see is performative outrage or blaming others, which is different from actually articulating vulnerable feelings or unpacking deeper frustrations. That’s kind of the point… there’s space for anger but still very little cultural permission for men to express softer emotions without mockery or being seen as weak.

I’m not going to feel sorry for men who cannot function adequately in the system they created.

Everybody - including women.

So I'll repeat - Women need to change to make men feel better? wtf.

Why do I have to change a damned thing because the poor menfolk feel victimised in a society of their own creation, a society that has been victimising women for centuries.

Did the poor little lambs change for us?

I feel like I hear a lot from men about all sorts of things, TBH

oh what a surprise! It didn’t take long for a man to jump on and try to blame women!!

This is why most women are fed up to the back teeth of men.

How come we never stop hearing about men's mental health issues, but they claim they can't talk about it?

All I ever see on any social media is men talking about stuff, podcasts where they're vile about women. They need to build their own communities and seek therapy / support. It's not for women to fix.

It tends to only be mentioned when men don't like something women say, "oh but men experience this too" okay? What's that gotta do with the subject?

Whenever a story breaks about a woman (say a teacher) abusing a young male, the comments are FILLED with other men saying things like "where were these teachers when I was younger". Why are we expected to take this cause seriously when they don't even take it serious?

This. The view you’ve expressed will never get much traction on here. This thread shows part of why this is a problem

I work in a male-dominated institution, and believe me, men can express their feelings perfectly well 😆

Exactly this.

Its views like most of the posters on this thread that are perpetuating the issues we have in society.

I would hope if their sons/husbands came to them with mental health issues then they may show a tiny bit more compassion.
Or would it just be a case of "man up" or "big boys don't cry"

You think men today created patriarchy?

They would, but the friend isn’t likely to risk opening up in the first place if all they hear is toxic shit about how it’s weak, and how it’s all men’s fault anyway.

There is a problem
this isn’t the space where it can be solved
this isnt the space where useful discussion can be made
even though women raise boys to be men

there are organisations and charities ( think men’s shed are one of them ) that do help

Re-read what I actually wrote