DH has upset our eldest following their relationship break up

[HanTalks]

Our eldest DS has been in a relationship for the past two years, which ended suddenly this week. I am not overly clear on the details and am trying not to ask him too much at the moment.

DH never liked his girlfriend (not that our DS knew this), and found her hard work in terms of her being a bit quiet (possibly shy) and not someone who made a great deal of conversation when at ours for meals etc.

Anyway, at the dinner table last night DS was quiet and gave a blunt answer to a question I asked him about his day.

DH then said to him ‘cheer up son, you’ll be better off without the stuck up cow’ and suggested he goes out with his mates to find a ‘local tart’ to cheer him up.

DS walked off from the table and has refused to speak to DH since.

DH is refusing to apologise and said he needs tough love at his age now. I’ve told DH he was out of order and should have been more sensitive especially given we don’t know the full circumstances.

AIBU for disagreeing with my DH here?

Horrible thing to say on soooo many levels.
Is your DH generally this disgusting when he talks about women?

YABU for having married such a chauvinistic prick, I wouldn't blame your DS if he chose not to talk to the troglodyte again.

Local tart? Oh dear.

Well, that’s certainly quite the dinner table conversation.

Insensitive but I don’t think it meant any harm.

Ick.

Is he Jays' dad from The Inbetweeners?

That’s a horrible comment. Has it ever occurred to him that he might have been the reason she was a bit quiet when she came over?
(What’s the problem with being quiet? Not all of us need to air our every thought and opinion.)

Op your husband sounds like an insensitive arse. I'm sorry for your son. Can he talk to you about how he's feeling or does he bottle up his emotions?

"Local tart"? "Tough love?"

Has your DH always been a chauvinistic arsehole or is he just now showing his colours out of the blue? I bet I know the answer.

Disgusting comments from your DH. He sounds like a boorish, chauvinistic arse.

Does he usually behave like that? Does it illustrate how he views women?

Jesus your husband is a charmer. Does he always have such a way with words?

Your husband is an arsehole!

It was harmful though, intended or not. It's not just banter, it's fuckwittwery.

It’s entirely likely that your son prefers a particular type of woman. Someone who is a bit shy and harder to warm up may be exactly his type. Now your son knows that his next girlfriend likely won’t ever feel welcome in your home. That means having a long term relationship with a woman and a good bond with his family is going to be difficult.

your husband didn’t just make a one-off insensitive comment. He threw a grenade into his relationship with his son.

Did you know your DH was a sexist pig?

Not as much as I’d like, but I know that isn’t unusual as I’ve friends with sons of a similar age who are also the same.

That was a disgusting thing to say what ever his feelings he should have kept them to himself. Your poor son. You said he was your eldest was there other children at table at the same time. The damage has been done now and there may be no going back from it.

Our other DS was out but our DD was there and no doubt found it uncomfortable.

Are you not upset also?, calling women tarts is not on

A local tart? Who even says that word now?! Buy him a shell suit and stick a bell round his neck so we all know the 80s moron is coming.

WTAF? A local tart. I’m disgusted by him

Wrong on so many levels. Lovely for your daughter to know how he sees women too.

Stuck up cow.
Local tart.
Your husband is a misogynistic arsehole.

Does he often speak about women in such a derogatory way?

I agree.
"D"H remark about finding a "local tart"? Disgustingly misogynistic.
If the way he spoke to your DS is any indication of who he is and how he thinks, why haven't you pulled him up.on it before?