DH has upset our eldest following their relationship break up

[HanTalks]

Our eldest DS has been in a relationship for the past two years, which ended suddenly this week. I am not overly clear on the details and am trying not to ask him too much at the moment.

DH never liked his girlfriend (not that our DS knew this), and found her hard work in terms of her being a bit quiet (possibly shy) and not someone who made a great deal of conversation when at ours for meals etc.

Anyway, at the dinner table last night DS was quiet and gave a blunt answer to a question I asked him about his day.

DH then said to him ‘cheer up son, you’ll be better off without the stuck up cow’ and suggested he goes out with his mates to find a ‘local tart’ to cheer him up.

DS walked off from the table and has refused to speak to DH since.

DH is refusing to apologise and said he needs tough love at his age now. I’ve told DH he was out of order and should have been more sensitive especially given we don’t know the full circumstances.

AIBU for disagreeing with my DH here?

Very foolish.
He ruined the relationship between father and son when he had an opportunity to be kind and respectful.

Oi,oi I'll not have a bad word said about donkeys 😁
Joking aside the man's an idiot.

No wonder she was quiet when she was at your house.
She probably felt really uncomfortable around your sexist pig of a husband.
Your poor daughter having to listen to that.

Yeah….sorry that you’re married to such a prick OP

Also, thia young woman was shy around your clearly misogynistic husband. She was subsequently not “entertaining” enough to him so he sees her as worthless and easily replaceable.

He seems pretty gross all round. No wonder your son doesn’t want to listen to him.

Grade A twattery. Your husband behaved like a dick.

So you also have a daughter having to listen to this misogynistic bullshit.

Nice…

.. and you plan to stay married to this apology for a man?
Hope your kids plan to move out asap...

What a horrible thing to say on so many levels. Is your DH usually such a Neanderthal dinosaur?

Your husband is obviously dickhead.

How's your son dealing with him?

What a nasty way to talk about women

"Find a local tart"

I couldn't live with a man who degraded women and used such vile language. The girlfriend clearly wasn't entertaining enough for his caveman ego. God almightly. My only advice is to do yourself and your kids a favour and pack his bags. This can't be the first inkling of his archaic misogynistic views either. What a cunt.

Quite!

She knew not to say too much. Possibly DS had already warned her.

‘Local tart’ he actually said that? That’s vile.

That’s quite the insult to donkeys, which are known as emotionally intelligent creatures with a deep awareness of their surroundings.
This man sounds like a Harry Enfield character and someone to be embarrassed of.

Is your husband from the 1970s? 🤔

Imagine now everytime your daughter wears a skirt is her dad thinking she’s a tart… her friends experimenting with outfits. Tarts.

When he goes oh you can’t go dressed out like that… he means you look like a tart. The type men should sleep with to get over being sad.

I would bet good money your husbands tart searching eyes have pondered on her a little too much making her the uncomfortable shy person in your families company.

I completely agree.

You are not unreasonable, your husband was both tactless and extremely vulgar, not a way to talk to his son.

Nice husband.

Jesus your DH sounds awful - what a terrible thing to say to your own son! Just because she was shy?! I'm not surprised she found it difficult to talk around the table at meals etc if this is an example of your DH's behaviour.

@Never2many On the face of it your husband was an arsehole. But….
If someone posts on here that they have broken up with a man, then it’s not unusual for posters to call that man a prick, twat, tosser, cunt an so on, and that’s seemingly considered to be ok.

But saying it to the person's face is quite different. He is not only insulting the ex-girlfriend, he is also insulting his son's taste in women and his judgement.

it’s also not unusual for people to attempt to find bad points about someone who has just broken up with someone in order to attempt to make the other person feel better.

Perhaps, but not so bluntly or rudely. And it would be better to be led by the son as to how he feels about her now, rather than jumping in with such a nasty comment.

Your ds had got higher standards than his dad and that's not in any way a bad thing. I'd be appalled if my dh used that kind of language to describe women. What a loser you are lumbered with. At the very least he needs to apologise to your son.

How do you feel about your husband being a misogynistic prick @HanTalks?

Is he very ‘common’ or lacking in education?

Why has the laugh emoji gone 😂😂