AIBU for deleting the FB comment?

[ThisFastEagle]

So my son just bought his first house and I'm beyond proud! He's worked hard for this and it's a huge achievement. I posted a congrats message on FB, tagging only him, and mentioned how this has always been his dream. His fiancée commented on the post saying 'we're excited for our home' and 'we're looking forward to this next chapter'. Thing is, the house is in his name only due to her credit issues. I felt like she was overstepping and taking credit for his achievement. We've had a long distance thing going on initially when he moved for work and she later joined him. I deleted her comment and had a word with my son about it, asking him to maybe clarify my intentions to her. Was I wrong to do so, or was her comment just a bit much?

So you’ve alienated both of them by being braggy and bitchy. Good work.

So you're the future DiL and this is a reverse?

If so, you must be reconsidering the whole thing.

It was a solo accomplishment and he's done so well.

Trouble is, he loves her and she'll now (probably) be upset. So he'll get an ear bashing from her (probably).

Deleting people's comments on your thread which will also be on his timeline (because you tagged him) looks pointed and not kind.

Once they are married the house is hers too. Even though she has put ZERO money in so you've achieved little by deleting her comment.

I feel for you, but best to keep DIL onside

You have ruined the whole experience for him buying his first home for him and his future wife, well done👏👏

Hoe are you all eating this up... 😂

Not everything can be measured in £££…

Hi op, enjoy going none/low contact with your son!

Read your post back to yourself to see where your son’s loyalty lies. Carry on as you are and you’ll risk cutting yourself off.

I see where you're coming from Op,and I agree that if it was a man saying he was excited to move into a home he had not financially contributed too, everyone would be up in arms calling him a cock lodger. I'd say that the main take away that you should have from this point forward, is that you've raised a son who wants too and is able to provide for his family and be proud of that, as opposed to arguing that his future wife hasn't contributed. He wants a family and wife and maybe children, he should be able to provide it, not her. And the house is in his name, and maybe will be shared when they get married, so it's still entirely his accomplishment. You've got to change your perspective here and see that he is a man providing for his family and that he has a woman in his life who can appreciate that. Celebrate that as opposed to simply home ownership.

That's how I read it too. If you'd said "congratulations to the both of you for buying your home" that would have sounded odd because she didn't buy it, he did.

Good he has her back and sees what you did as a slight on his relationship I genuinely hope you can repair this.

No they really wouldn't.

You're going to not be invited to the wedding and be on here whining and asking why

Where are our manners though? Welcome to Mumsnet, @ThisFastEagle . 👋🏻

You can be proud of your son, but rather than delete his future wife’s comment, it would have been nicer to have wished them both happiness in their new home. You didn’t even acknowledge his fiancée, and then deleting her comment was rude. I’d imagine you’ve upset them both.

I do love a good old

AIBU?

95% of replies yeah you are

OP no im not!!!!

I’m so glad your son got defensive and he is taking her side.

I’m sure we’ll all see you on here again in a years time, crying cause your DIL only invited her own mum and not you to go wedding dress shopping with her. And then again in three years time crying cause you barely get to see your new grandchild and your son and his wife don’t really bother with you.

No, they really wouldn’t

The issue actually isn't her post though.

It's deleting the fiancée's reply how she was looking forward to living in their new home and their next chapter.

Oh, your last post over-egged it.

OP, I'm not going to pile in on how misjudged your actions have been. You really should make amends though and apologise to both. You're so out of line and could find yourself totally cut off from your son, and I don't think anyone would fault him. Your thoughts and actions are really off the wall.

Oh stop being so fucking obtuse. You can’t be this emotionally illiterate surely.

If you can’t see what you’ve done wrong, we can’t help you.

Good luck with keeping them in your life.

Thank you! I made a post not about who is living there but mentioning the fact that my son who as a parent I have a right to be proud of him and tag individually as his mother this wasn’t his fiancé’s achievement. Yes I understand she may pay utilities and her paying rent in the apartment may have helped my son save up but at the end of the day it was my son’s credit and earnings that got him that house. By my FDIL commenting it read as, “hey I’m going to take away from this mother son moment of being proud to remind you hey I’m his fiancé don’t forget me.” But I’m getting piled on simply bc I’m a FMIL. And yes as his mother I’m entitled to have a word with my son about when I feel he isn’t getting the credit he deserves. I don’t want him to feel like this wasn’t his accomplishment. He is still an individual and maybe I’m a bit of an overprotective mother but again let’s reverse the roles and a daughter bought her own house and her mother congratulated her on FB and the FSIL said we are excited for our new home the mother would absolutely talk to her daughter and be like, “hey honey don’t let some man take credit for what you achieved.”

What a horrid thing to do. So mean and bitchy!

But that’s a completely different situation? A man needs to provide, your son has done so. Buying a house on your own is extremely difficult these days, yet he has done this for his future wife and potential kids! Sounds like a proper family man. I can’t believe you’re not delighted.