Page 6 | AIBU for deleting the FB comment?

ThisFastEagle · 2025-06-08T14:55:07+00:00

So my son just bought his first house and I'm beyond proud! He's worked hard for this and it's a huge achievement. I posted a congrats message on FB, tagging only him, and mentioned how this has always been his dream. His fiancée commented on the post saying 'we're excited for our home' and 'we're looking forward to this next chapter'. Thing is, the house is in his name only due to her credit issues. I felt like she was overstepping and taking credit for his achievement. We've had a long distance thing going on initially when he moved for work and she later joined him. I deleted her comment and had a word with my son about it, asking him to maybe clarify my intentions to her. Was I wrong to do so, or was her comment just a bit much?

PinkNeedsAHoliday · 08/06/2025 16:21

hardliquormixedwithabitofintellect · 08/06/2025 16:20

No, they really wouldn’t

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Yes, they would.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 08/06/2025 16:21

Wintershealing · 08/06/2025 16:18

That's how I read it too. If you'd said "congratulations to the both of you for buying your home" that would have sounded odd because she didn't buy it, he did.

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But the fiance didn't say she had. She just said she was looking forward to the future in said house which OP then deleted

I dont understand why you deleted it OP? She didn't say she'd paid for the house, just that she was looking forward to a future with your son....which is more than you're going to have if you don't change your mindset

PandoraSocks · 08/06/2025 16:22

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:20

Thank you! I made a post not about who is living there but mentioning the fact that my son who as a parent I have a right to be proud of him and tag individually as his mother this wasn’t his fiancé’s achievement. Yes I understand she may pay utilities and her paying rent in the apartment may have helped my son save up but at the end of the day it was my son’s credit and earnings that got him that house. By my FDIL commenting it read as, “hey I’m going to take away from this mother son moment of being proud to remind you hey I’m his fiancé don’t forget me.” But I’m getting piled on simply bc I’m a FMIL. And yes as his mother I’m entitled to have a word with my son about when I feel he isn’t getting the credit he deserves. I don’t want him to feel like this wasn’t his accomplishment. He is still an individual and maybe I’m a bit of an overprotective mother but again let’s reverse the roles and a daughter bought her own house and her mother congratulated her on FB and the FSIL said we are excited for our new home the mother would absolutely talk to her daughter and be like, “hey honey don’t let some man take credit for what you achieved.”

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Welcome to MN, you two. Nice to see new members being supportive of each other.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 08/06/2025 16:22

I didn’t have a salary when my husband and I got our house, he always referred to it as ours even tho I wasn’t on the mortgage because it WAS our house. Well our home anyway. You’ve painted a very bad picture of yourself and I’m hoping it’s just a crazy moment and you’re not really that controlling and cruel

LBFseBrom · 08/06/2025 16:22

That was mean and unnecessary. She will be contributing, make no mistake about that - probably has already.

Foodfiend2025 · 08/06/2025 16:22

How do you think she now feels OP? She is allowed to say she is excited.

And women wonder why they don't have a good relationship with their daughters in law. SMH

ilovesooty · 08/06/2025 16:23

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:15

My son got very defensive and said he 100% views it as their home and she gave him emotional moral support standing by his side and without once questioning it moving to be with him. And she helped him pick out their future home. And they are about to be married it’s their home together. I said my post wasn’t about that it was about his accomplishment of being able to purchase the home

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So he seemingly doesn't think much of your behaviour. Don't be surprised if they don't want to see much of you going forward.

Coffeeishot · 08/06/2025 16:23

Well I didn't tag my Dd on FB because that's actually weird about someone getting a mortgage I did wish her/them a happy new home though.

chatgptsbestmate · 08/06/2025 16:23

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:11

What was I getting at? By tagging my own child for his own accomplishments?

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Oh dear. You're a lost cause. Good luck with your future relationship with your son, DIL and grandchildren 🙄

Spirallingdownwards · 08/06/2025 16:23

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:20

Thank you! I made a post not about who is living there but mentioning the fact that my son who as a parent I have a right to be proud of him and tag individually as his mother this wasn’t his fiancé’s achievement. Yes I understand she may pay utilities and her paying rent in the apartment may have helped my son save up but at the end of the day it was my son’s credit and earnings that got him that house. By my FDIL commenting it read as, “hey I’m going to take away from this mother son moment of being proud to remind you hey I’m his fiancé don’t forget me.” But I’m getting piled on simply bc I’m a FMIL. And yes as his mother I’m entitled to have a word with my son about when I feel he isn’t getting the credit he deserves. I don’t want him to feel like this wasn’t his accomplishment. He is still an individual and maybe I’m a bit of an overprotective mother but again let’s reverse the roles and a daughter bought her own house and her mother congratulated her on FB and the FSIL said we are excited for our new home the mother would absolutely talk to her daughter and be like, “hey honey don’t let some man take credit for what you achieved.”

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Except she didn't do that.

You said what she posted and she is joining in not taking anything away at all. If you want a private mother/son moment speak to him or message him not post on FB or at least disable commenting.

AyeDeadOn · 08/06/2025 16:23

You could and should have let her comment pass. What would have been the harm? You have caused conflict for absolutely no good reason. You need to learn to let unimportant stuff go or you'll end up having very little to do with your son or any grandchildren of the relationship.

Original poster

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:23

Wintershealing · 08/06/2025 16:18

That's how I read it too. If you'd said "congratulations to the both of you for buying your home" that would have sounded odd because she didn't buy it, he did.

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Exactly! He bought it and that was what my post was clearly focused on and then my FDIL came in and said we are excited about our new home basically shifting the focus off a mother being proud of her son to making it about them as a couple

OP posts:

sweetpickle2 · 08/06/2025 16:23

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:20

Thank you! I made a post not about who is living there but mentioning the fact that my son who as a parent I have a right to be proud of him and tag individually as his mother this wasn’t his fiancé’s achievement. Yes I understand she may pay utilities and her paying rent in the apartment may have helped my son save up but at the end of the day it was my son’s credit and earnings that got him that house. By my FDIL commenting it read as, “hey I’m going to take away from this mother son moment of being proud to remind you hey I’m his fiancé don’t forget me.” But I’m getting piled on simply bc I’m a FMIL. And yes as his mother I’m entitled to have a word with my son about when I feel he isn’t getting the credit he deserves. I don’t want him to feel like this wasn’t his accomplishment. He is still an individual and maybe I’m a bit of an overprotective mother but again let’s reverse the roles and a daughter bought her own house and her mother congratulated her on FB and the FSIL said we are excited for our new home the mother would absolutely talk to her daughter and be like, “hey honey don’t let some man take credit for what you achieved.”

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If you wanted a precious “mother son moment” then why post it on Facebook where anyone is entitled to comment?

You are being utterly ridiculous, and cruel. I’m glad your son got defensive- he should be defending his future wife.

LozzaCh0ps · 08/06/2025 16:23

Yikes 😕

CandyCane457 · 08/06/2025 16:24

“hey honey don’t let some man take credit for what you achieved.”
**
But she WASNT taking any credit for what he achieved, she was just commenting to say how excited she is to live with him!

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 08/06/2025 16:24

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:15

My son got very defensive and said he 100% views it as their home and she gave him emotional moral support standing by his side and without once questioning it moving to be with him. And she helped him pick out their future home. And they are about to be married it’s their home together. I said my post wasn’t about that it was about his accomplishment of being able to purchase the home

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Well you’ve got your answer then. Your petty behaviour has upset your son 🤷🏻‍♀️

sweetpickle2 · 08/06/2025 16:24

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:23

Exactly! He bought it and that was what my post was clearly focused on and then my FDIL came in and said we are excited about our new home basically shifting the focus off a mother being proud of her son to making it about them as a couple

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But it is all about them as a couple! It’s their house, nothing to do with you!

Wintershealing · 08/06/2025 16:24

loropianalover · 08/06/2025 16:21

But that’s a completely different situation? A man needs to provide, your son has done so. Buying a house on your own is extremely difficult these days, yet he has done this for his future wife and potential kids! Sounds like a proper family man. I can’t believe you’re not delighted.

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That's a very old fashioned outlook. A man needs to provide? No, a man needs to contribute unless we're living in the 50s where "man must provide" 🙄

LoveWine123 · 08/06/2025 16:24

I wouldn’t expect to see the future grandchildren very much if I were you…

Spinachpastapicker · 08/06/2025 16:24

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:15

My son got very defensive and said he 100% views it as their home and she gave him emotional moral support standing by his side and without once questioning it moving to be with him. And she helped him pick out their future home. And they are about to be married it’s their home together. I said my post wasn’t about that it was about his accomplishment of being able to purchase the home

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And did this not tell you anything? Do you still disagree with everyone posting and your own son?

sheesh.

elusiveemz · 08/06/2025 16:25

Petty and spiteful.

chatgptsbestmate · 08/06/2025 16:25

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:23

Exactly! He bought it and that was what my post was clearly focused on and then my FDIL came in and said we are excited about our new home basically shifting the focus off a mother being proud of her son to making it about them as a couple

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And? So what? You NEED TO GET ALONG WITH THIS WOMAN

Why are you being so obtuse?

Coffeeishot · 08/06/2025 16:25

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:23

Exactly! He bought it and that was what my post was clearly focused on and then my FDIL came in and said we are excited about our new home basically shifting the focus off a mother being proud of her son to making it about them as a couple

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But it is about them as a couple they live together now she was excited for her new life. What would you have liked her to comment ?

Sanguinello · 08/06/2025 16:26

YourLimeTurtle · 08/06/2025 16:14

You're fine OP.

You might be back on MN complaining in a few years but only because they got married and she wants 50% of everything she didn't contribute even 1% to

This is MN, women doing nothing while expecting men to house and financially support them is standard. It's misogyny to suggest women earn their own living.

All she said was 'we're excited for our home' and 'we're looking forward to this next chapter'
What is wrong with that?

cryptide · 08/06/2025 16:26

ThisFastEagle · 08/06/2025 16:05

It’s my son surely as his mother I’m proud of his accomplishments. Aren’t you proud of your children’s accomplishments

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So why can't a woman be proud of her fiance's accomplishments?