AIBU for deleting the FB comment?

[ThisFastEagle]

So my son just bought his first house and I'm beyond proud! He's worked hard for this and it's a huge achievement. I posted a congrats message on FB, tagging only him, and mentioned how this has always been his dream. His fiancée commented on the post saying 'we're excited for our home' and 'we're looking forward to this next chapter'. Thing is, the house is in his name only due to her credit issues. I felt like she was overstepping and taking credit for his achievement. We've had a long distance thing going on initially when he moved for work and she later joined him. I deleted her comment and had a word with my son about it, asking him to maybe clarify my intentions to her. Was I wrong to do so, or was her comment just a bit much?

The wedding is going to be a hoot !

You’ve asked. You’re getting an answer. I suspect you’re not listening.

i’m so curious as to how he reacted to your phone call OP?! please tell us.

Doesn't matter once they are married.

No they wouldn't. This is nuts

No they wouldn’t.

Anyone else looking forward to seeing the posts from the DIL in a couple of years? Poor woman

time to bring back the laugh emoji

I understand what you’resaying

Oh no you’re THAT mother in law…! Just why was it necessary to do that?! It serves no purpose but to signal loud and clear that you don’t like or respect her. You’ve just made yourself look petty and spiteful and it’ll come back to haunt you because if your son has any kind of backbone he will support her and it may well have a very bad effect on your relationship.

Hmmm, very mean minded tbh. I hope you're going to try harder when/if you become the MIL.

You're fine OP.

You might be back on MN complaining in a few years but only because they got married and she wants 50% of everything she didn't contribute even 1% to

This is MN, women doing nothing while expecting men to house and financially support them is standard. It's misogyny to suggest women earn their own living.

He bought a house that's fab I'm assuming his partner will be contributing to the household financially he just got a mortgage on his own due to circumstance, my own Dd did the same but its still her and her partners home,

Shocked you’d even think this was ok!

Just because her credit isn’t good enough to go on the mortgage doesn’t mean she hasn’t contributed financially. She might have added to the savings, or paid for the solicitors, and if they lived together prior to this then splitting rent together will have facilitated your son’s ability to save money. Frankly, how they choose to conduct their finances as a couple is none of your business.

She is going to be your daughter-in-law, and what you’ve done is incredibly pointed and unkind. She didn’t comment taking credit for getting the mortgage, she commented saying she’s excited to live there. You’ve been very unreasonable but you clearly don’t like her or think you have been, so good luck to you and your future relationship with her and your son.

But I bet he’s not proud of you or your actions! How embarrassing! Then “I had a word with my son” FFS he’s not 5! Your fiancé, who you’re marrying, who you share a home and a bed with, had upset mummy on FB. Please tell her off!

You’re going to be very very lonely soon!

But that’s your own fault.

My son got very defensive and said he 100% views it as their home and she gave him emotional moral support standing by his side and without once questioning it moving to be with him. And she helped him pick out their future home. And they are about to be married it’s their home together. I said my post wasn’t about that it was about his accomplishment of being able to purchase the home

When she gives birth to a child would you be happy so say that because your sons sole contribution was to ejaculate into her, whereas she carried a baby for 9 months and birthed them, that the baby is her “accomplishment”?

You are going to be the mother-in-law from the absolute deepest, darkest pits of hell. They should both change their names and consider going into Witness Protection.

Why did you post here btw? This forum is called Am I Being Unreasonable? and you clearly don't think you are.

The other thing is that although he may have paid the deposit and got the mortgage, if they marry, she will be contributing to the costs, be that via mortgage payments or general living expenses, which will ease his financial burden. Or she might look after their babies, thus saving the family the cost of childcare. Unless she intends to sit on the sofa for the next 25 years, eating bonbons, she will definitely be contributing to this house!

@ThisFastEagle swallow your pride and just admit this was a shitty move on your behalf.

Just look at all the replies on this thread. Not all of them can be wrong.

Not all relationships start or even continue on an even financial scale that doesn’t mean that one person has bad intentions or their feelings arent sincere.

Your son presumably loves this woman and sees a future with her and you’ve decided that she isn’t worthy of your son or it seems yourself.

If you want to go to war and he the typical crazy MIL you will lose the relationship with your son and even possible future grandchildren.

Think twice about what you’re doing.

You can be proud of your son and his achievements without A) Having to broadcast it over social media and B) Having to make a point that his significant other wasn’t a financial part of his achievement.

You could have just had a private laugh about it with your family/friends, or simply ignored the comment.

You look all hot and bothered now for deleting it. It was a very silly thing to do and only gives her ammunition in this tit for tat you so obviously want with her.

Personally I’d be proud that my son was able to provide for his future wife/potential kids like this. It’s very manly, but you seem to want him to be your boy?

You’ve over done it now, this is a wind up.

Get the washing up done and pack your school satchel for tomorrow.

So basically your son recognised that deleting her comment was a class A bitch move by you. Good for him. Glad to see he has her back.

But what she said didn’t belittle his accomplishments or try to claim them as her own in any way, so it was beyond petty, and actually quite nasty, to delete them. I don’t see this ending well for you if you’ve already started out your relationship with her like this.