Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

[PReggoDuck23]

Bit of a rant really. We’re on a UK break with my family, just a cottage thing in Wales. Me, OH, my parents, my sister and her fella. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and just feeling a bit raw anyway tbh.

So my OH’s got a bit of a speech thing. Not a full stammer but he struggles sometimes with certain words or says stuff wrong, mispronounces things a bit. I’m used to it now and usually know exactly what he means. He gets worse when he’s tired and it’s been a long few days. We’ve been walking loads and it’s not exactly relaxing.

Last night after dinner he was trying to tell a story and got stuck on a word. Tried like 3 times to say it and my dad and sister just started laughing and taking the piss. Doing voices and repeating it back to him all wrong. He tried to laugh it off but I could see he was gutted. I told them to pack it in and they were like oh calm down we’re only joking. Then my sister said I’m just hormonal.

This morning he said he had a migraine and stayed at the cottage. Might be true but also reckon he just didn’t fancy spending the day with them after last night. Can’t blame him.

I said something again to my mum and she just rolled her eyes and said he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up. But I don’t think it’s funny at all. I feel really protective of him and also just really sad he’s been made to feel like that. It’s meant to be a nice time away before baby comes and now it just feels crap.

AIBU to be upset? Should I have said more?

Sorry but your family were being complete arseholes. You need to stand up to this and defend your partner. It’s not acceptable for adults to behave like this.

Your family sound remarkably unpleasant. Not just mocking his speech, but dismissing your taking issue with their behaviour as ‘hormonal’.

How much longer is the trip? If neither of you is actually enjoying it, go home early?

I would have left with my partner. I think it's incredibly rude of them. A joke is only funny if both sides think it is. Go and speak to your partner and tell him you think they were outrageous and does he want to leave. I would further say to your family that it wasn't funny to it was hurtful. They have a choice: they can apologise and he might consider accepting it. If they choose not to, it will affect your relationship going forward and that will include a relationship with you and your child.

They sound like absolute wankers op I'd be really angry about that as well.

They owe you and DH and apology.

For what it's worth, I've always thought stammers and lisps were really cute on men, I have no idea why they just make my heart flutter.

Ask him whether he does/did have a migraine or would he prefer it if you left and went home and support whatever he decides.

your family are cunts. no other words. what would they be like with a grandchild with a disability. mock them. call them sensitive

fuckers

They're awful. In no way is laughing at and mocking someone's speech impediment a joke. It's disgusting, ablist bullying. I'd be questioning if I want them in my child's life. Maybe you are seeing them through an unbiased lense now you are pregnant. Behaviour like that doesn't usually just come from nowhere. I suspect they've always been nasty but if you've grown up with it you may not have recognised it.

Your family were horrible to the poor guy. I'm glad you stuck up for him. I wouldn't go away with them again.

Jeez they sound awful and need to be called out.

Why the fuck are you still there?? Stand up for your DH and leave with him.

stress can be a migraine trigger

regardless, why are you still on holiday with these people? Packing your bags and leaving would have been the appropriate response.

My son has a stammer. I would be horrified if anyone, let alone family, were taking the piss out of him.

There is no way I would continue with the holiday in such circumstances. Firstly you need to make sure your husband knows 10000000% that you are horrified and not going to stand by whilst your family bully him. Then you need to let your family know that this is not acceptable and you are not prepared to accept nonsense about "it's just a joke".

I have a speech impediment, I would have gone home after that 😥.

What happens if your little one develops a lisp or a stammer.

Will they take the piss out of a child too?

I'd pack and leave today, and would make sure they realise how much damage they've caused to the relationship with your DH.

Your family are vicious twats. How fucking nasty.
That behaviour belongs in the playground.
I would've taken DP by the hand and marched out
Seriously go home, you won't enjoy it now.

We like a bit of banter as a family and sometimes joke and have a laugh at each other but what happened here is really not on. Your poor dh, it’s not like he can help it. I think if I knew in any way that I’d overstepped I’d be mortified and desperate to make things right.

Nasty bullies. Your poor DH 😢

Every single thing your family have done and said is the classic script that bullies use:

• taken the mickey out of someone for a speech impediment
• when called out on it, said 'calm down we're only joking'
• called a pregnant woman 'hormonal' because she called them out on it, i.e., minimised their own behaviour and implied you were over-reacting due to being 'hormonal'
• blamed the victim by saying he's too sensitive
• repeated that they 'were only' winding him up

I agree with you OP - it's not on, and well done for calling them out on it. Hopefully they won't do it again. I guess it might be too much for them to actually apologise?

Your family sound horrible. Bullies.

They are nasty bullies. Your poor DP.

I'd be f"ck*ng furious. I'm a language specialist,so I know a thing or two. I also had a stammer as a kid, which lasted till I was about 11 or 12, so have direct experience there too. I'd do one/both of these:

1. Pick on something, some foible that one of them has... If they drop something, knock something over, forget something, answer something incorrectly, don't hear something properly. Really go to town, and humiliate them for a bit.
2. Ask them to watch or listen to an unscripted interview on telly/radio. Absolutely everyone stammers to some extent... we all do it, whenever we are speaking spontaneously in conversation. We all do it. All the time. Nobody ever speaks in grammatically complete and consistent sentences, and everyone gets stuck on a sound now and then. It is simply a matter of degree (which can then become a mental block).

@PReggoDuck23

100% this! What fucking dicks. I'd be raging.

Your family behaved like worthless scum.

she just rolled her eyes and said he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up.

Translated into English:

"I'm fully supportive of nasty bullies, and if anybody challenges me on my support of the bullies, I will victim-blame them and make out that the bullying is somehow their fault."

Your family are utterly disgusting people. You and your partner deserve much, much better than them, OP.