Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

[PReggoDuck23]

Bit of a rant really. We’re on a UK break with my family, just a cottage thing in Wales. Me, OH, my parents, my sister and her fella. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and just feeling a bit raw anyway tbh.

So my OH’s got a bit of a speech thing. Not a full stammer but he struggles sometimes with certain words or says stuff wrong, mispronounces things a bit. I’m used to it now and usually know exactly what he means. He gets worse when he’s tired and it’s been a long few days. We’ve been walking loads and it’s not exactly relaxing.

Last night after dinner he was trying to tell a story and got stuck on a word. Tried like 3 times to say it and my dad and sister just started laughing and taking the piss. Doing voices and repeating it back to him all wrong. He tried to laugh it off but I could see he was gutted. I told them to pack it in and they were like oh calm down we’re only joking. Then my sister said I’m just hormonal.

This morning he said he had a migraine and stayed at the cottage. Might be true but also reckon he just didn’t fancy spending the day with them after last night. Can’t blame him.

I said something again to my mum and she just rolled her eyes and said he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up. But I don’t think it’s funny at all. I feel really protective of him and also just really sad he’s been made to feel like that. It’s meant to be a nice time away before baby comes and now it just feels crap.

AIBU to be upset? Should I have said more?

1. Your family are ablist cunts and have shown you exactly who they are. I would not want to have anything to do with them.
2. I would be going home immediately.
3. I would not be able to resist first choosing the one thing that each of your family members is insecure about, and giving them a good ribbing about it, in the interests of joining in with their "banter". I am sure they cantata it if they can dish it.

"I'm leaving early because poking fun at somene with a speech impediment is a nasty and spiteful thing to do"

"It isn't "poking fun" or "banter" or a "joke" because no-one is laughing. It is ableism at its worst"

Your dad and sister are being immature morons. I would definitely be supporting your husband and leaving asap.

You are upset not because you are hormonal but because you are a decent human being who also loves your husband. Your family are dickheads so extra credit to you for being you and even more for standing up to them.

I have just had a nasty funny image of a hand lit holding a bunch of dicks. Different size, shaped and skin tones. It's a revolting but also funny image

Just leave then. He’s left that decision to you. Your family don’t sound very nice.

Rather than asking DP if he'd want to to both leave I'd be offering it to him as "I'm really angry with my family and I'd like to leave because I don't want us to be around them. Will you think I'm a drama queen if we go?" That way it's YOU who's setting the bar of what's acceptable and clearly showing him that you think they're out of order. You're presenting it to him as your decision and that you see you and him as a team, and that is your immediate priority.

I'd either be leaving NOW even it meant getting home at 2am after a long drive, or I'd be leaving at 6am so they'd wake up to your empty rooms. They're absolute arseholes and even if you never speak to them again they need to be apologising.

I couldn’t stand to spend time around people like this. He’s a saint to put up with them. But wouldn’t you have a nicer time too, just the two of you instead of being hyper aware of every comment and dig?

Sometimes when we grow up in abusive environments we confuse being able to talk back, and call out bad behaviour or give as good as we get with having strong boundaries. The thing is that people who haven’t been trained from infancy to accept shit, just don’t hang around accepting it.

Aww OP, this has made me feel so sad for your partner.

Your family are a bunch of cunts. You've seen them for what they are now. Eyes truly opened.

There would be no faffing about for me, I'd have left, but not until I'd give them a piece of my mind and said you won't be talking to them until they apologise to him.

Just go home!!! Now and tell them why. I'd be crying my eyes out tbh

Picking on him will make his stammer/difficulty worse.

I bet he thought he'd left the school bullies behind.

Bullies will always suggest their victims can't take a joke and are too sensitive.

Check in with your other half and be prepared to distance yourself from them to support him. What horrible people.

Your poor OH!

Well good on you OP for realising the situation and being prepared to leave for your DP. Your family seem incredibly rude and insensitive

I had a stroke 2 years ago and can't imagine how I would feel if others start taking the piss of him. Even now I can't have a problem with words, written and verbal. What a horrible family.....

My dad had a stammer as a kid and sometimes has to take a "run up" to a word, rolling his R or whatever. I think it's cute.

Rowan Atkinson has a problem with words starting with Bs and Ps, he uses it to his advantage in his comedy. If you've ever heard him say the name "Bob", you'll see what I mean.

ETA I'm 23 weeks pregnant too, hooray!

That's not joking, it's making fun of a person's disability, I would definitely leave and book a night in a lovely hotel and have a nice meal and relaxing evening and then head home.

Bullies will always suggest their victims can't take a joke and are too sensitive.

This is so true, and I would say this to the family and tell them that they are bullies.

Wow. Your family sounds awful. How unkind.

I would be avoiding them, but also telling them why.

This^

I wouldn't want any child of mine around them - either to become their target or to become like them.

Nasty. I would have packed up and left immediately.

Haven't read the full thread but that is absolutely awful!
That's unbelievably rude, horrible and bullying. I know they are your family but that is nasty, nasty, nasty. It's not funny. You're not too sensitive.
I'd be seriously limiting my time with those losers.

Your family were totally out of order - rude, nasty and cruel. It sounds like they might be doing it on purpose because they don’t like him - ie they’re trying to drive him away. The idiotic comments about him not being a proper lad and being ‘too sensitive’, and now openly taking the piss out of him, are bullying. I bet they’re secretly chuffed he has a migraine.

I’d leave asap, and I’d tell them why - that they’ve been rude, cruel and downright embarrassing.

I'll bet my last £1 that your poor husband has had to deal with people taking this piss out of his speech issues for a very long time. I'd also bet that it's effected his self-esteem, and self-confidence. Your family should be utterly ashamed of themselves. It isn't 'banter', or a 'joke' because your husband isn't laughing. It's bullying, pure and simple. You need to shut them down when they start and tell them straight it isn't funny to you both, because you aren't laughing. They need calling out big time. Your husband may have had a migraine, as stress and upset can bring them on.

I’d wait until my partner was in another room then I’d be ripping them all new arseholes. Disrespectful to the nth degree

I would go home now and would make it clear why. Your DH sounds like a much better man than your father.