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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

466 replies

PReggoDuck23 · 08/06/2025 15:40

Bit of a rant really. We’re on a UK break with my family, just a cottage thing in Wales. Me, OH, my parents, my sister and her fella. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and just feeling a bit raw anyway tbh.

So my OH’s got a bit of a speech thing. Not a full stammer but he struggles sometimes with certain words or says stuff wrong, mispronounces things a bit. I’m used to it now and usually know exactly what he means. He gets worse when he’s tired and it’s been a long few days. We’ve been walking loads and it’s not exactly relaxing.

Last night after dinner he was trying to tell a story and got stuck on a word. Tried like 3 times to say it and my dad and sister just started laughing and taking the piss. Doing voices and repeating it back to him all wrong. He tried to laugh it off but I could see he was gutted. I told them to pack it in and they were like oh calm down we’re only joking. Then my sister said I’m just hormonal.

This morning he said he had a migraine and stayed at the cottage. Might be true but also reckon he just didn’t fancy spending the day with them after last night. Can’t blame him.

I said something again to my mum and she just rolled her eyes and said he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up. But I don’t think it’s funny at all. I feel really protective of him and also just really sad he’s been made to feel like that. It’s meant to be a nice time away before baby comes and now it just feels crap.

AIBU to be upset? Should I have said more?

OP posts:
Evaka · 08/06/2025 16:23

Your family sound like a pack of utter pricks. I'd rip their fucking heads off first and wouldn't be seeing them again.

MounjaroMounjaro · 08/06/2025 16:23

Show your partner your support, OP. He's too nice for your family - you have to take the lead and head off home when they behave like this. What did they mean about speaking in English? Is English your husband's first language?

cryptide · 08/06/2025 16:23

Ask your family if they would joke about a blind person's inability to see, or the fact that a paraplegic is unable to walk, and point out that this is no different. Ask them whether if, say, they had cancer of the tongue and had to have part of it amputated, or if they had a stroke affecting communication, they would find it funny if people joked about their inability to speak.

If that doesn't lead them to apologise and pack this behaviour in, there is no hope for them.

WhatColourIsThatBalloon · 08/06/2025 16:25

Yeah it’s nasty behaviour on their part. And it’s your family, you need to take the lead here. I’d be telling them the piss taking stops now, it’s out of order he’s the father of your child and they need to be decent and make him feel welcome in the family. Next incident you’re off and there’ll be repercussions. And then follow through.

lovemycbf · 08/06/2025 16:25

I would have got my partner and gone home and left them to it
this is unacceptable and not nice in any way

Brenda34 · 08/06/2025 16:25

Your family have behaved like a bunch of disgusting idiiots.
You need to take the lead here.
Unless you absolutely have to wait, I think you should leave now. Don't make a drama out of it. Get everything packed just quietly then without fuss just leave. On the way out just tell them you don't like the way they've behaved towards your partner and you're not putting up with iit. Don't get into a battle of words at this point. You've said what you think and you don't need to justify your point of view in this case.

In future, you may want to consider how much influence you want them to have on your child if they think this behaviour is acceptable.

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/06/2025 16:26

Nasty to purposefully be cruel about speech impediment
A stressor with speech is the anticipatory dread knowing someone will be mean
Will your family take the piss of your child has a speech issue

IsItSummerSoon · 08/06/2025 16:26

If they don't think what they did is wrong, where do they draw the line?? Does that mean they'll think it's also fine to do it once your child is a bit older and can understand what's happening. For a child to witness their parent being humiliated is horrific.

Your partner shouldn't have to worry about things like that. I'd leave too and make it very clear how utterly unacceptable this was. I'm so sorry this has happened OP, you must be gutted.

EarthSight · 08/06/2025 16:27

Not the point of your post (which other women have already commented on), but I assume he often has migraines? They can affect people's speech like that, and symptoms like that can be seen a day before they happen. Your family shouldn't be mocking him either way.

nomoremsniceperson · 08/06/2025 16:27

That's awful OP, it communicates a huge lack of compassion and respect for your partner, and therefore indirectly a lack of respect for you. Your poor partner, he must have been mortified. I would leave early too.

Notonthestairs · 08/06/2025 16:27

They sound awful. My grandfather had a stammer. I would be appalled if anyone had teased him about it.

Leave early - it’s a sign to your family that you take it seriously and to your partner that you won’t accept their treatment of him.

ZoeCM · 08/06/2025 16:28

They're just horrible people.

Buttcraic · 08/06/2025 16:28

Ugh, how disgusting, i'd be taking my partner home explaining i dont condone bullying!!

Visun · 08/06/2025 16:29

Your family are horrible. You and your partner should pack and leave. Enjoy some relaxing time together before baby comes. Your family aren't even sorry and they'll no doubt do it again. Have a think about what kind of influences you want in your baby's life. Will your child grow up listening to your family bully their father for his speech impediment? Or end up on the receiving end of their jokes for something they can't control?

I would take a big step back from them. If they take responsibility and offer a sincere apology I might reconsider. If they dig their heels in and continue with their behaviour I would cut them out.

Uricon2 · 08/06/2025 16:29

You family has behaved appallingly. I'd be making a stand now because if you let this go without them knowing-fully understanding- that you won't tolerate it, it will keep happening. A good friend has a stammer. It gets much worse when under pressure and being around that bunch of mocking wankers is pressure.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/06/2025 16:29

They have not apologised nor have accepted any responsibility for their actions.

I would go home asap and continue to support your partner fully. Your family members are toxic people and are not nice to be around. I would think twice about allowing them to also have a relationship with your child given their behaviour.

Theroadt · 08/06/2025 16:31

Spirallingdownwards · 08/06/2025 15:46

Ask him whether he does/did have a migraine or would he prefer it if you left and went home and support whatever he decides.

I agree to an extent but also it seems that is putting the decision on his shoulders. It’scthe OP’s family, she needs to make the decision.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 08/06/2025 16:32

Your OH sounds sweet. I wouldn't wait until the morning, I'd pack and leave now. Your family are out of order.

Lins77 · 08/06/2025 16:32

This was upsetting to read, I feel for both of you.

I'd probably try to explain to them how and why this is so upsetting and inappropriate. Give them a chance to improve the situation. If they still don't see a problem, I guess you have to consider how much time you want to spend with them going forward.

BabyCat2020z · 08/06/2025 16:35

I'd be so upset if some treated my son, who has a stammer, like this.

Difficult for you too, as your family are being really embarrassing. Hopefully, you're not going to be reliant on them for childcare.

MyDeftDuck · 08/06/2025 16:35

You have every right to be upset! What kind of fuckwit takes the piss out of someone in that disgraceful manner? And adults too………old enough to know better! I hope he’s ok today.

howshouldibehave · 08/06/2025 16:36

Your family are behaving appallingly-that is bullying and nasty and your mum is just as bad for minimising it.

But, come on-you grew up with these people and know them well...you've chosen to go on holiday with them. Surely you know what they are like?!

KatieDidIt · 08/06/2025 16:36

How awful for them to make fun of his speech. It’s totally uncalled for. My own son has a stammer / stutter which is much more noticeable when he is excited or tired. You did right pulling them up, on their making fun of him.

Sadly your mother rolling her eyes and saying he is too sensitive is wrong too. I watched my boy (now a fully fledged adult,) shrink in embarrassment a few times around others when his speech was the butt of their ignorance. I stepped in ferociously as any parent would, to put an end to it. This didn’t stop my boy feeling embarrassed or very self conscious. Leading him to not wanting to partake in regular conversations in extended family / friend, situations. The damage is real, sadly.

Glitchymn1 · 08/06/2025 16:37

Typical bullies. It’s not funny at all, I assisted a gentleman with an awful stammer once and he was so thankful, also so ashamed when he had no need to be.

Your family are extremely repugnant.

BiscuitBotherer · 08/06/2025 16:37

You’re not being unreasonable to be upset. I’d be ashamed of my family for behaving like that, and then minimising your valid response by saying you’re hormonal. What a bunch of pigs.