AIBU - siblings at parties!

[Cat345]

AIBU to think it's outrageous to bring a sibling to a party and then put them on the table to eat with all the kids that were actually invited. Then take cake and party bag for them!? I would never do this but I don't know if I'm being mean about it.

Thank you. I had no idea people got so angry about this stuff.

Yeah it’s going to happen. I have had parents bring siblings but I know the kids. I always ask them if they want food and always prepare a few extra treat bags (that may not have everything but have cake) and give them one too. I don’t have an issue. If there is going to be an extra charge I point it out at invite or say sorry we can only have xx doing the activity due to numbers. Not ideal but it happens and o expect it so I’m not annoyed .

You weren't invited to a meet up in a soft play, you were invited to a birthday party - 1 guest + 1 parent. You are effectively not availbe to supervise the invited kid, if you are with the sibling, so why have you there in the first place?
I hope you havent got any boys, such an attitude to disregarding rules or boundaries, nobody can be thinking it's a good thing to teach..
But I doubt those posts are genuine as surely nobody is that...

Yes, that’s why I always have a few spare party bags because they usually join the party bag queue too. It’s fine if the parent has asked beforehand because on the odd occasion they just can’t get childcare for the sibling(s) but some
people seem to treat parties as a whole family outing.

I've already said I've never done it. I just fail to see why I'm meant to be affronted when siblings have come to my DC's parties.

Maybe I've just been lucky to live somewhere so easy-going that nobody thinks hiring a small room for food at the side of a large softplay means other people related to the birthday guests aren't allowed there.

It remains utterly bizarre to me anyone thinks this.

Stop with the troll hunting. There's nothing outrageous about paying for a sibling to attend the same soft play that a party is being held at. If I was going to troll I'd have included a story about a brawl with the birthday mum in the carpark.

😂😂😂

And as far as supervision goes that's just flexible. There's plenty of parents around, sometimes even both parents because sometimes it fits better with the whole day or because both parents fancy a catch-up over a coffee which I'm sure is unheard for some as well. So at some point someone might suggest Sally and Mike go into the party room to help supervise food and Katy and Lisa stay in the main bit while all their other kids have their food.

It's not any kind of issue. Maybe it's a village thing. We're all really used to being in the park after school and at various times watching each other's kids temporarily.

There's a great book about this- Big Red Lollipop. I think a lot of these responders who bring uninvited siblings should read it!

So both parents show up as well as all the children…
Unbelievable.

I know! Adults who like each other like to sit around chatting and drinking coffee they have paid for themselves whilst helping out supervise their own, and other people's children. It's outrageous that people could make themselves available and useful like that.

Like I said I didn’t expect anything for free. They are always at an open soft play so I would fetch the other and PAY. I’d she wanted food I would pay for the as well

I think this might be a village thing as it’s the same in our (pretty big) village. I always read these party threads a bit confused as it’s all very laid back here, both parents will often attend, we tend to all know each other’s kids, that sort of thing.

Personally if I’m taking both kids to a soft play party I quite like DH coming too so he can chase the smallest one while I drink tea and speak to my friends

I don't see what's so clever about turning up to a soft play and paying for admission. I've managed to do it when so sleep deprived I could barely string a sentence together.

Wow. That's a really impressive, gigantic leap of nonsense.

I've never asked anyone this on here before but, and I mean this genuinely, are you ok? That's a really strange post based on pure imagination

Why has this gone from going to a soft play party to becoming a sex offender? Truly odd turn of events.

Lol hilarious!!

To be fair one time when I brought DC2 to the same softplay as a siblings party some of the boys in their class did encourage him to go absolutely feral. Maybe enough parties will lead to a life of crime.

It's about the importance of teaching children not to be entitled and selfish and that other people's needs and boundaries are worthy of respect. And where it could lead if you raise entitled lazy all about themselves kids looking at e amples set by some.
And that it's okay to miss out and be upset.

And missing out and getting upset need to be learnt and practiced for situations they'll have to encounter in 10 or 15 years time.

Anytime extra children have been at parties I've been at it's rarely anything to do with the child's particular desire and almost all about convenience. It's not worth making a specific childcare arrangement for the other child of the other parent happens not to be free. And crucially, in all my children's classes, nobody would be expected to.

The entire conversation I have had last time I had a softplay party for my was something like:
Friend: Thanks for the invitation. Fred is definitely free. I'll need to bring Jo as well if that's OK, I'll pay for her obviously
Me: Of course, no worries. I'm pretty sure Jane will be bringing both her two as well so they'll be able to play together.

Job done. No boundaries crossed, no offence, nobody thinking they are getting one-up on anyone, nobody being entitled. A complete non-event.

I don't see how it's making anyone selfish and entitled. As far as they know they're just being taken to a soft play and told that their sibling is at a party but they can have a sandwich in the cafe.

My DS is in year 1 and has known most of his friends from preschool. I have a younger child at preschool where many of the other younger siblings now go too - so pretty much everyone knows each other and siblings are friends. We haven’t hit the stage where you just drop them off at a party.

It’s the norm round here to bring younger kids! I have always just accounted for child invited plus sibling/s. I would say the only exception was something like going to clip and climb where there is only a small number of children invited/it wouldn’t be appropriate. Never thought about it as being weird.

That is very rude. I would stop inviting your child