AIBU - siblings at parties!

[Cat345]

AIBU to think it's outrageous to bring a sibling to a party and then put them on the table to eat with all the kids that were actually invited. Then take cake and party bag for them!? I would never do this but I don't know if I'm being mean about it.

I am saying I allow other people to bring siblings and cover the cost of them when I can.

How does that make me entitled?

What will bite me exactly? I'm a bully? I don't care about children? For allowing siblings to come to parties I've paid for.

I've always loved to do big parties and be inclusive. I think if you allow siblings as a rule then you get enough extras that there isn't a solitary clingy spare part, but they all know each other from school and other sibling friendly parties and they get to forge good relationships with kids a little older and a little younger than them. Excellent for their social skills.

Not everyone does big parties, not every kid wants huge numbers, but mine did because they were well attended, with loads of presents for them and loads of fun had. I liked that it meant that the single parents/those with parents who worked weekends etc could make it, and stay and not stress.

It's like you've answered the post you wish I'd written rather than what I've actually said. I'm going easy on you because it's reading like you have something bigger going on, your response is not even vaguely rational as a response to anything I've posted.

It's not up to you - the guest- to decide the guest list for the birthday kid or how they have their party, so if you bring the extra kids, make sure they are not seen by the birthday party kids and your invited kid is availabe to pay attention to the birthday child and the party and not their sibling, and you are supervising the invited kid properly rather than their sibling in a different corner of the soft play.
I'd still not invite you again.

Guest doesn't decide who the birthday child has at their birthday, it's rude to impose uninvited guests on the hosting family, whether paid or unpaid.
"How" has been explained many times and many different scenarios given. I guess that's the nature of CF - they don't see anything wrong with being entitled.

If the host wants to dictate the guest list then there are plenty of exclusive things that can be booked.

If 😁 I don't think you are genuine

Also, the kid who's actual birthday it is chose his friends to come surely? He/she didn't expect a load of randoma relatives to show up. My son (6) has friends in his class that have older siblings, one of them is a bully its a right pain when he rocks up (uninvited) and ruins the party for the younger kids.

Why should they? It’s people like you who don’t understand social conventions that are the actual issue, society shouldn’t have to bend itself around you because you can’t grasp how things work.

Are you going to address the rest of the stuff you said about me, the names you called me and the absurdity of your post?

Or keep repeating irrelevant nonsense under everything I've said.

No I am a genuine person who makes use of soft plays for their appropriate use. I genuinely don't feel the need to justify my decision to pay for my child to use a soft play at a time of my choosing with anyone else.

Exactly. And the nature of CF ry is they don't understand why someone might not want their whiny 3 year olds or equally entitled or bullying otherwise unpleasant older extra kids there. May be someone in the party has a problem with your other kid and the host family know it?

The social convention of taking your child to a public activity in a massive room where your other child will also be with other children?

That's not a social convention, it's ridiculously controlling of a public space.

Pretty sure anyone round here who complained that they'd been hosting a party at soft play and there other children there at the same time would just get a blank look of "and? What's the issue?" in return

So you aren't going to the party you are going to make use of resources for your own benefit to the detriment of other people who were so kind to invite your other child. Honestly your children won't treat you in your care home nicely if you don't teach them how not to be so selfish.

You basically invite your child’s friends siblings.
So what?
Nobody that’s not on the guest list shows up, no problem.
How does this relate to people who don’t want 10 of their kid’s friends and 20 siblings that their kid may not even know at their party?

It's madness. Of course you can buy a separate ticket to a soft play at the same time as a party. This is ridiculous. It's standard practice where I live, and as I know hardly anyone with just one child, more normal than just bringing the one.

Of course there are going to be “other children” there, don’t be so disingenuous.
Random children unknown to the birthday child are not going to be sitting down for food or queuing up for a party bag.

It relates to what you said about me. How I'm an entitled bully who doesn't care about children? Remember that part?

As opposed to the open-mindedness and generosity of spirit or someone who brings their uninvited kids to the place.😅

Wasn’t me.

You don't need to be invited to use a soft play though. It's a business that centres around people bringing kids there to play.

Sorry, I got you confused.

I don't send invitations to siblings, but if people want to bring them then it's fine. I don't think people assume that if you're not invited that you're banned from the premises for the duration of the party, especially when it's a venue open to the public.

It's not my problem if people that want an exclusive party for their child are too tightfisted to pay the extra for it. Any resources used at the softplay are covered by the admission price paid.

There are a few people on here targeting you unfairly. You have your way, they have there'theirs, you are obviously not a bully for being kind😍

Nor are the siblings in my experience.

Quite common here to bring a sibling to soft play but pay separately at door and don’t take them in the party room, they don’t eat the food or expect a party bag or anything. Not sure anyone would be bothered about that, some people don’t have childcare to only bring one child so this is a good way to enable that. My friend’s husband works away a month at a time and she has no family nearby, so I always make sure I can cater for her and both kids.

But it’s definitely rude to ever assume siblings are invited to the party itself. I tend to invite siblings as I have two DC and their friends tend to have siblings of same age as one of the DC, so it makes sense as they all sort of know each other and play together. And the parties we go to tend to be similar, siblings welcome, but we do always check first, although it’s almost always stated anyway. They are still young so as they gets older this will naturally shift, but we are still in the church hall/soft play/sports centre era.

The public place, yes.