AIBU - siblings at parties!

[Cat345]

AIBU to think it's outrageous to bring a sibling to a party and then put them on the table to eat with all the kids that were actually invited. Then take cake and party bag for them!? I would never do this but I don't know if I'm being mean about it.

ruds to take my child to a soft play area , pay for her and bit her food if she wants it where my other child is going to a party there. Yeah that’s rude!!

Even if they'd asked your entertainer may have had restrictions on numbers as many do. Bouncy castles don't take unlimited kids either for safety.

So sending 3 extra uninvited guests was a thoughtless thing on behalf of the parents.
Many assume it's free for all in the hall which isn't case.

Are you ok? Seriously??

Someone who has extrapolated from me saying that I have no problem with other children coming to my children's parties that I'm an evil person with no boundaries and am raising a future sex offender. Yeah, I'm checking if they are ok. It's far enough from any degree of rationality to be a fair question.

Ah I see, thank you, I thought you were arguing against my point.

Reported. I have read some hideous nonsense on here but this is way over the line.

Reported for what?

That was awful. I hope you're alright.

Oh I'm fine thank you. There's no point taking something so utterly nonsensical as hurtful.

How do you know they weren't invited though? Maybe they were? What kind of party was it. If it's something per head then yes it's cheeky but if it's a hall party, I'm sure it wouldn't be an issue as long as the parent asked.

I went to a party over the weekend..both my kids were invited but it was only one of their friends class party. We know the family so they kindly invited both kids and even my baby! So you shouldn't really assume unless you know the full facts. We even got given a party bag for the baby! I did get a few side eyes having two kids at the class party but we were all invited.

For implying that people on here are raising kids that sexually assault others because they attend soft play at the same time as a party.

It's nasty and batshit.

I will never understand why people can't just say what they mean. Siblings not ok? Fine. Say. Siblings welcome? Fine. Say. Don't dance around the topic with subtle hints then moan when people don't get it.

It’s well established etiquette that the invitation is extended to the named person only.
It’s the muppets who don’t understand this that cause the issues, not the hosts who assume the parents of the invited child can read and don’t have either comprehension issues or social impairments.
Clearly they’re being far too optimistic.

And some people refuse to comprehend that a soft play is a public place and someone bringing another child who they are paying for is doing nothing that invalidates the terms of that invitation.

And that for some of us (everyone in my children's school for instance) also considers age hall type invitations to be fine to accommodate siblings and are actually allowed to choose not to be offended by siblings coming.

Apparently we are all too stupid to make the decision not to be offended though and our failure to be offended makes us boundary tramplers and raisers of sex offenders.

Also, there’s this general underlying sense of parents just not wanting to say ‘no’ to their child. I don’t really get it, it’s not teaching them any resilience.

My DD asked why she wasn’t going to a party my son was invited to. I calmly explained that the invite said his name, it’s a friend in his class, you are doing something fun with Dad, you will get your turn when you start school, and no your brother won’t be taken to yours, My DD at 3 completely got this, zero fuss.

Fast forward to an uninvited sibling in her Nursery class turning up at my son’s party. His Mum had a go at me in front of other parents that she’d had to pay his entrance, despite invite explicitly stating that. I stood my ground, yes actually you do need to pay. She then told me her children were ‘bored’ during the lunch, could they go and play? She then presented me with her sobbing, uninvited child demanding that he wanted birthday cake now. I had to explain to him that the rules of the soft play was that it has to go in the party bags, and he would need to wait for 5 mins, which he accepted and Mum thanked me for 😂 I did not blame this child one bit, his Mum’s behaviour throughout was appalling. Beyond entitled and rude. What is she teaching her child?

I did wonder what my lovely, unspoilt DD would have thought of all this, who I would never even have taken in the first place! It actually really annoyed me, as we would both have been far more polite guests than this pair!!!

I am laughing at what's considered rude and what's not considered rude on here. You can't fix this thread now, it's done.

I mean, telling a made up story about how a child became a sex offender - fine.

Visiting a soft play, paying for the child and buying food - disgusting behaviour.

unless specifically told that siblings are welcome, just understand that siblings are not ok.

If they were, you would know. No need to clarify.

You shouldn’t even ask!!!

How rude! You shouldn’t even ask!!!!

It was at a local hall that I'd hired

We always had one mum in particular who would ask if the sibling could come. We said yes for the child's sake but it was every year and got a bit annoying! We did have a few over the years turn up on the day but the parent always said they'd take them off somewhere so we invited them whenever that happened and had one or two spare party bags just in case. Very cheeky if they just expect it though!

If you're stuck for childcare you drop and go.
The only time I ever stay with my kids at parties is if it is their close friends and I have offered to help the birthday child's parents. They don't want me there anyway and it is nice to have time away!

Oh get over it.

it's true it's rude. What can the parents say? They don't want to be rude, and they have to say yes even if they are really annoyed about it.

Having another child with you is not a big deal, but you keep them with you, you don't bring another uninvited guest to a party, how can that not be rude?

Like I said in my previous posts. They have only ever been invited to soft play area parties they are still young.

whenever I have brought the other with me I have paid for them. It’s always been at a time that the area is open to public, not booked out for the party. So how can that be rude? At least I asked the parent and told them I would pay instead of just turning up!
it’s my youngest I have to bring with us most of the time. She doesn’t get invited to many parties now she has started reception as she is very shy and autistic. So she just stays with me sat at a table. Never gets involved with the party