My DD is ultra strict and judges my past

[crackofdawnearly]

My DD is 21. She’s always be sensitive about me being anything other than her boring and safe mum and holding that ideal, which I’ve accepted and am in turn considerate of it as much as I can be. She has never liked knowing about going out clubbing when I was in my twenties or smoking or drinking. It’s not like I was wild, just a typical young person having a life, but it upsets her.

Tonight my DH and me were talking about the night we met and DH said something about my smoking back then and referenced the all night party I went to the following night. DD got upset again and stormed out the room. I went after her and we talked calmly for a bit about it and how she finds the thought of me partying upsetting and I gently tried to rationalise that I did exist before her and how I was was normal. It’s like she cannot accept I’m anything other than her mum. This shows itself in other areas too.

AIBU to think she should grow out of this?
or

AINBU and she needs to accept I’m more than her mum and was young once

@Orderofthephoenixparody

eh?? Most adults are able to comprehend that their parents are people in their own right regardless of their where they live in the country

The upbringing is different in London there is things to do young people don't stay at home. In the country there is fuck all to do and you and your children become wrapped up. I grew up in London and now I live in the country that's what I observed. My oldest daughter is like a librarian and when she went to university and met a London girl that was it her eyes opened wide and she wanted more.

@Orderofthephoenixparody

would twenty odd year old people who had grown up in the country as a child be judgemental toward their parents though?

Two of my young adult children spend most of their time at home with us. There is nothing for them to do. I am pushing them to go in the same direction as their oldest sister. All they do is watch me and judge me it does my head in. They need to hurry up with their studies and get their own lives. It gets to a point where they have outgrown you. I left home at 19 my cousin who is a few years older than my oldest DD left home when he went to uni. All they need is a little taste of freedom and they're gone. The op is still mothering she needs to let her go and push her out her daughter is hanging on to her skirt.

@Orderofthephoenixparody

i know what you’re saying but it doesn’t sound like the OP is clinging on, sounds like she wants her daughter off and away living like the adult she is.