I got married yesterday and I can't stop crying.

[MoreThanOverwhelmed]

DH has cancer. (Diagnosed Jan 2024)
We were supposed to get married - at simple 2+2 ceremony at the end of the month but his Dr's etc encouraged us to bring the date forwards, so we got married yesterday in the hospital where my DH is being cared for.
I'm a week post major abdominal surgery.
We have 2 primary aged DC
It's our youngest DCs birthday this month.

I don't know what I want from this post but I can't stop crying.
I don't think that I know how break it to the DC that Daddy isn't going to get better and come home.
My head is swimming & I don't know what to do.

Thinking of you and your family x

Thinking of you all. I'm so sorry.

I have been where you are - dealing with all the practical things like bills whilst you have everything else to deal with is horrendous.
It sounds like you have a good support team around you

https://www.griefencounter.org.uk - recommended by a friend who worked there.

This is just horrible. So so sorry OP.
Tell the children. Don't worry if you get upset - that is perfectly normal. Draw together as a family. It sounds like there is so much love there.

Thinking of you OP at this very difficult and sad time. I am so very sorry for you all.

Sending you prayers and hugs - so sorry this is happening to you and your family

I’m so sorry OP. Sending hugs your way ❤️❤️

Hi - just to say I'm so sorry and to recommend this charity for your children: Apart of Me | Helping young people cope with grief

The only thing I can say is that when my DH was put onto end of life care, it was very peaceful x. The staff in palliative care were wonderful.

Take this chance to say all that you want to say to each other. It will mean a lot afterwards.

Afterwards, take one day and one night at a time.

Life can be a bastard at times, but, in time, you will come through it.

Look after yourself and your children 💐

I lost my husband whilst relatively young (albeit not as young as you). I’m so sorry, the next few weeks and months are going to be incredibly tough, use all the support you have around you, there is also plenty online if you need to speak with others who have been where you are.

Wishing you strength as you steer through this difficult time.

There are no words 💗💗💗💗

I am so sorry OP. That really is monumentally shit and unfair.

We wish you and your family all the very best at this very difficult time.

The pain must be unimaginable.

I'm so sorry. This is utterly awful for you and your family. So glad you have support and each other. Sending another handhold.

OP 💗

I'm so so sorry. Wishing you both all the strength and love you both need.

I'm so sorry OP. Life is really unfair. Wishing you all strength and love. xx

I’m sorry, that’s so hard.

I expect you and DH are worrying about him making it or not to DC birthday. I’m not sure how old they will be.

I wanted to share my experience from the child perspective. My mum tried her best to hold out until our birthdays, but sadly she died the week before I turned 6 and my brother turned 8. Of course we were devastated that she had died and still are, but the rest of the family carried on and celebrated our birthdays the following week (with the funeral in between the 2) and we still managed to enjoy the days somewhat.

there’s really nothing I can say to help but I’m thinking of you all.

This is dreadful and cruel my heart goes out to you.

A person once said to me if your going through Hell you better keep going...try to keep going. Your husband will live on in your children, they will be legacy, a beautiful reminder to you everyday of what you achieved together X

This is incredibly sad to read. I’m so sorry for everything you are going through. I cannot help in anyway, but sending you hugs.

I've read all your updates. Oh my god I am so unbelievably sorry for what you are going through.

I don't really know what to say. My lovely sister died at 33 from cancer. She had 2 DC who were 10 and 4. She explained herself to them that mummy needed to go to heaven. I don't know how she did it. She was in a hospice until the end. But her DH and DC stayed over for a movie night not long before the end.

She also got married in the hospice.

With regards the utilities they might be the last thing on a lot of peoples mind. But for your DH it might be some small bit of control he can grasp onto right now. Some way he can see of helping that you are as well set up as you can be.

God this is so sad. I know you said people have been helpful but do lean on them. With my BIL after we all wanted to help but didn't want to intrude or over step. It's been 10 years now, in many ways I know I could have done a lot more for them and shouldn't have waited to be asked. So I would absolutely ask people.

Mind yourself too, I know that probably feels impossible right now. But make sure you are eating and at least getting some sleep. I don't want to presume anything or sound rude but if you do drink, I would go very lightly on it right now. I drank far too much when grieving and it did not help.

I am very sorry to read this OP, it is extremely sad and tragic for you and your family. It is not much at all but my thoughts are with you.

Op i don't know what to say but guess just wanted to post to say your doing amazing and sending you my love