To think this is immature ?

[HockeyMum1996]

My sister’s 17 year son has just dropped out of an A Level course and he has a full time job atm.

Both my sis and my BIL are very well educated, upper middle class professionals- both did A levels, went to uni, worked hard and have now both got senior roles.

My sister clearly isn’t happy that her son left school, and when I went round her house for Sunday Lunch she’d had a few drinks and said in an angry, drunken voice that one of the ladies at church who has a son in the same school year as my nephew, said “I’m sorry for what’s happened” - ie my nephew leaving school. She went on to criticise nephew’s character saying he “couldn’t stick at anything and is hopeless”

my nephew could hear all this and was in the next room.

truth is, my nephew hated school and is much happier in work

AIBU to that sister’s being unreasonable?

my nephew dropped out of A levels - but I feel my sister can’t just scold him because of what another woman said in church ?

my sister has form for being immature abd a bit intolerant of differences

So you presumably very rarely actually see your sister
or indeed her interaction with her son

I do wonder often why my BIL is still with my sister. He can’t be happy surely with the way she behaves I mean in general her behaviour can be summed up as a drunk fuelled

you have just said your very rarely are invited around

and yet op… you seem to have a very definitive view on precisely what is going on in this family. And it’s all about your sister being in the wrong.

As someone who is academically gifted, despised school and has A-Levels/Degree/Masters etc - qualifications are not the be all and end all!!

my husband had pretty rubbish grades at GCSE’s, failed to fully qualify for his apprenticeship because the company went into liquidation and yet has gone onto to “learn on the job” and is in a senior level, skilled job, that earns twice as much as little ‘ol me with my degree and multitude of mental health struggles!

Secondary school “education” can have a severe negative impact on mental health, and believe me once you’ve spiralled down that slope, it is much more difficult to get back to your best self.

Protect his mental health!!
Education, qualifications, can be done at any time!! And that’s if he even ends up needing them!!

Indeed..

How on earth do you know the boy is wrecking his life chances?

Many entrepreneurs don’t finish their education.

This nation (assuming UK) is unhealthily obsessed with academia. It’s just not for some (very bright) people.

21 just finished 3rd year at uni so graduation ceremony later this year. Still doing the part time ( 30 hours) job as hotel duty manager he's done for last 18 months while looking for a different job

What route did he take to uni?

and your daughter… she never “used” her alevel. What do you mean?

He’s been working 30 hours a week and studying for a 3 year uni degree?

And DD is 31. She's an area manager for a restaurant chain. Just gone back from ML

Yes and doing summers working abroad as well as sports coaching for kids

Our son did too. The joys of youth 😁

(At 21, I was working full time in the smoke then getting the train home and working in a pub 4 nights each week. Rarely make it to the 10 o clock news these days, don’t work 😁)

What degree did he do?!

Some parents are never happy. The worst are those who kids don't follow the plan that parents had in their heads.

English/film studies combo

Exactly

Both me and DH benefited from a good education, university etc. and both did well in demanding professional jobs. I have a 17 year old who is very undecided about their choices right now.

If they chose to switch to work, instead of continuing with A-levels, I would talk it over with them, try to find out whether this new path would be a positive one for them, for now, and then support them completely. I would not be 'disappointed' in them for making a choice that didn't match my expectations.

Education can be life-long. It doesn't have to happen before the age of 18.

YANBU. She should not be saying that about her son as it's unfair and untrue. And if it were, I would not be gossiping to all and sundry about his character, but would address it directly with him.

Yeah i was working full time at 17, lived in my own place , doing A levels at evening class and out socially all weekend.

now at 53 I need a bit more chill out time. Although not resorted to being tucked up in bed at 10pm yet lol

Many plumbers are wealthy and don't require a university qualification to carry out their work. Are they worthless in your eyes?

Honestly what a lot of BS on this thread. I have two uni qualifications under my belt but can recognise that success comes in many forms...be open minded!!

Yes…but he wasn’t a very high achieving teen.

She said she has an escalating drink problem.

Same op who now admits that she very rarely sees her sister

Maybe because of her escalating drink problem…