To never tell partner I love him?

[Takinitgottobserd]

Is it weird? I have never told him I love him, and he's never told me he loves me. I do love him, completely. My parents never told me they loved me growing up, and I never told them, but there was absolutely no doubt that we all did.

I spoke to him yesterday and a friend commented that she always told her DH she loved him every time she said bye, and did I not do the same. I said I’d never said it and nor had my DP, and she found it mind blowing.

Is it that strange?

Er, I'm not telling other people their relationships are not relationships because they differ from mine.

It reads like they have a deep loving committed relationship to me.

Except not living together and being less verbally expressive of their emotions than you think they should be.

I guess we read it differently then, I
Or have different ideas of what deep and loving mean perhaps

Even people who are uncomfortable verbally expressing their feelings will have said I love you to their partner who they're in love with, at least once.

To not do so is extremely odd, in the sense of being unusual/uncommon, and in the sense of being weird.

I have never watched a movie with him.

But I can’t be arsed to spend any more time correcting your fictional version of events, so will leave you to your delusion.

Got this DM. What a bunch of pathetic little shits. You sad, sad bastards.

OMG why are strangers here so invested in forcing the OP to conform to their ideas about relationships?!

Sorry people are so insane, OP 💐 I highly doubt anyone taking the time to message you that has a happy life themselves…

Yes, I agree. It absolutely smacks of them trying to convince themselves they’re happy because they’ve done the ‘right thing’. Absolutely crackers behaviour.

Oh wow! 😂

Why be a dick?

That's my question to you, OP. Why are you being so very confrontational? Why are you still on this thread if you don't like it? You're clearly very upset that people think your relationship is odd, or that people have interpreted your words in certain ways. Why, when you've said yourself that words don't mean anything to you?

@Gingerbis you must be the blandest person alive if this minor level of deviation from the norm is “fascinating” to you

Oh fuck off. You know exactly why.

I am continually disturbed by the absolute unquestioning reverence for the best-trodden path here

I mean OP’s situation is hardly even that out there is it and it’s blown peoples minds to the extent they’ve completely forgotten how to interact in a semi-normal way and are sending bitchy private messages like teenage mean girls

You’re right

It’s a sign I’m the “blandest person in the world” because a couple for more than 5 years together have never watched a movie together eye much piques my interest!

It’s unusual but hardly “fascinating”. Some people just don’t watch stuff in their homes. I know the standard evening in for most is wine and netflix or whatever but preferring to do something else is worthy of an “oh, really?” at most surely

I find watching films very dull. We rarely watch TV at all, unless it’s sports. Surely you’re not in such a bubble that everyone you know chooses the exact same ways to spend their time? Apparently watching films.

Like honestly, why do you care?

Agreed.

It is ‘fascinating’ that the most minor deviation from ‘this is what people do’ can cause such a reaction.

So refreshing to read this.

I'm two years in with DP and we've never said these words to each other. It was hard for me at first, but then I thought about the 17 year long marriage I left, from someone who said that he loved me every day. Sadly his actions didn't follow through (not cheating or anything like that). Saying things are easy - meaning them and act upon them is much harder.

DP is just so caring. We see each other 2-4 days a week. We talk about most things, do things together (we do watch movies together 😊), have holidays planned over the next few months. To me, the little things, the rose from the garden as he serves me tea in the morning, means moee than words that follow some kind of script.

We don't live together and I don't think we'll ever do that. I want things to continue just as they are.

I wonder what your circumstances will be with your DP in 5 years.

how old are you out of interest?

Sounds perfect. Nice and easy, as these things should be.

You are so offensive and obviously completely bored of your own life.

Why wonder about how it'll be in 5 years time? I live here and now.

I'm 50. I've got my own property and so does DP. We both got DCs from previous relationships, and we're both very comfortable on our own. I don't need DP to have a good life. I'm with DP because he adds to an already good life.

At this stage in life, I know how quickly life can change. I've got savings for a rainy day, but I also know that planning too far in advance and not appreciating what is here now, can mean that you miss out on life. I've seen lives destroyed due to terminal illnesses in less than three years.

I'm with DP because he adds to an already good life.

This is beautifully put. Exactly how I feel.