To never tell partner I love him?

[Takinitgottobserd]

Is it weird? I have never told him I love him, and he's never told me he loves me. I do love him, completely. My parents never told me they loved me growing up, and I never told them, but there was absolutely no doubt that we all did.

I spoke to him yesterday and a friend commented that she always told her DH she loved him every time she said bye, and did I not do the same. I said I’d never said it and nor had my DP, and she found it mind blowing.

Is it that strange?

See I've shared very little about myself other than speaking on my opinion on something you ASKED an opinion on. Yet your response is t engagement it's insults. Direct insults. Which is not unexpected because what else is there when you can't understand the conversation

I asked for opinions on whether it was weird to never say I love you to my partner.

Not for your extremely odd and batshit replies claiming that I don’t have any physical, emotional, intellectual or affectionate elements to my relationship, your insulting pseudo psychology about my parents, or for your opinion on how often I see DP.

I always showed my ex partner I loved him but I have always found it a hard thing to say except to my children . The more my partner banged on about it the more I felt uncomfortable. Actions speak louder than words

Tbf, whether it is odd or not that you haven’t said it, is deeply rooted in the nature of your relationship.

I am very clearly a different person to you. And my DH is very, very different to your DP.
We make plans, not just to go to the cinema or go on holiday, but about how our lives should look and how we get to that destination.
For us it has involved where we want to live, what jobs we want to do, children, friendship development, retirement plans - loads of stuff.
It is ALL based on our love and commitment to each other.

You have described a very happy scenario with emotional but no practical commitment (by this I mean living together and/or having kids).
I guess people are just trying to work out your relationship in order to understand whether the saying ‘I love you’ or not is ‘weird’.

I suspect the OP’s boyfriend would be utterly terrified to read the OP’s hundreds of posts on this thread!

I wonder if he’s wondered what you’ve been up to last weekend and this weekend (if you saw him) as you have been banging out all these posts about how you love him truly madly deeply

Absolutely how I feel.

Tbf, whether it is odd or not that you haven’t said it, is deeply rooted in the nature of your relationship.

Yes of course it is. People are obviously going to ask about the context of the relationship to try and assess whether it’s odd.

I just don't read emotional commitment, I feel like if he came to her and said listen this has been great but I've fallen in love with someone so this is it for our casual affair she'd say 'eeeew you're so needy now, thank goodness you've decided to channel that every elsewhere'

Exactly

and given the relationship the OP describes she and her boyfriend having - it absolutely is not strange that they haven’t told one another they love one another after 5 years together.

whereas most relationships after 5 years together… well it would be very strange!

Maybe some are doing that.

But a minority are just trying to troll.

Again, writing fiction.

I don’t mind people asking. I mind people inventing fictional elements of our relationship and posting increasingly nasty posts based on the fiction they have made up in their own head.

Is he? It doesn't sound like she entirely knows because they don't seem to talk about feelings but yeah I'd say he's also emotionally stunted

So what would you say/ feel if that happened?

like the OP i imagine… he is “indifferent” or “don’t care”

You’re asking me how I’d feel if the man I love, am committed to and who I am in a very happy relationship with left me for another woman?

Are you genuinely thick?

I have pm-ed you @Barnbrack

Ok, so you do have deep feelings about your relationship, why not share them with him?

Yes it is very odd, OP, to be in a long term relationship without ever discussing how you feel about each other or what you mean to one another. It is normal, in every sense, to say "I love you" to a person who you love - and when we fall in love it is one of the milestones of a relationship when that is acknowledged to one another by saying "I love you."

I don't think you do love one another. It sounds like you get along well and both find that the relationship meets your needs at present. That sounds like it's enough for you. You don't need to bring love into it when neither of you actually feel it for the other.

If you called him right now and said, I wanted to tell you I love you. What would he say back?

This is the last one of these ‘what would he do if’ questions I’m answering.

I suspect he’d be very surprised and very concerned there was something seriously wrong.

Oh well. If you don’t think we do then I must be wrong. You’d know better.

Honestly the patronising shit people come out with on here.

It's the 'i suspect'

5 yrs and you can't for certain say how he'd react to you saying you love him

Well ringing him out of the blue is different to saying it in bed after a few orgasms. He’d likely react according to the situation.

But I have no intention whatsoever of ever saying it, so there we are.