Petrol money - girls trip

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Me and my best friend are going away for the night in a few weeks that’s a good couple of hours away. We both decided on the venue and both paying equally for the stay.
We’ve been friends for over half of our lives now and have a very close relationship for context.
When I asked about getting there she said she’d drive but could I give her some petrol money. I don’t know why but it’s irked me because 1. She’s going there anyway and 2. We’re best friends, I just couldn’t charge her if it were me. And no, I can’t drive there myself because my husband needs our car.
My husband always scoffs at this dynamic in our relationship. I’m not the best with money as a whole and potentially this is why? AIBU to feel this way? Of course I’ll still pay. We live in the same village for context.

Yep YABU, don’t be a CF and pay half the petrol money!

Why do you expect her to fund your travel? How much could it possibly be? The fact is you can’t drive there as you don’t have the car and she can. If you resent bunging her £10/20 then why bother going? You’re an adult - pay your own way. Expecting others to do it is embarrassing.

you drive instead and pay for all the petrol money - sorted
Edited - as you can’t drive find another way there if it annoys you

She's not "going there anyway". You're going together. Give her some petrol money.

She may be going there anyway, but would she be going if you weren’t going too? It’s fairly cheeky to expect free transport - how would you get there if she didn’t give you a lift and how much would that cost you? It’s entirely fair that you split the travel costs. I couldn’t leave someone doing me a favour carrying all the cost.

I wouldn’t ask my best friend for petrol money but at the same time it’s not at all unreasonable to split the travel costs. Neither of you are in wrong but if she asks then you should.

Why don't you get there under your own steam (and money) then?

What a good friend to drive you everywhere, honestly.

This must be a reverse because no way could someone think it is ok to hitch a lift a couple of hours away and not chip in for petrol.

I’m not saying I won’t pay it I said that in my OP I just wouldn’t have charged myself, maybe that’s why I don’t have much money left at the end of the month 😂

I mean, it is saving you train fare isn't it ? Decent people pay petrol money or at least offer.

Find your own way to get there then

It seems reasonable to share the costs of petrol, why should one person get a better deal than the other as they can’t drive to the destination?

your friend now has the additional stress of driving, the least you can do is give some petrol money.

i wouldn’t ask if I was her, but I’d offer if I was you. I know my bf would say no, but I’d insist I bought us lunch or a few drinks.

Can't imagine keeping freeloading on others' drives and saying "You were going there anyway" 🤦🏻‍♀️

Get there on your own then 🤷🏻‍♀️ I always offer petrol money if someone drives me somewhere.

Unless it’s an arrangement like I have with a friend where we swap who drives to our shopping trip and you’ll be driving next time or did last time you’re being unreasonable she’s only going anyway because you both decided on that venue… get yourself a train ticket instead and see how much that will cost you as you’re going there anyway…

Of course you should chip in petrol money!

YABU.

Think of it just like dinner or if you were both getting the train. A fair split.

It's not like she's going to work. She's not going there anyway, she's only going because she is going with you. Travel costs like accommodation are an integral part of the cost of the holiday. Would you be happy to pay for all the meals because you would be eating anyway?

Gosh your attitude is SUCH a CF attitude to have.

You are benefitting from the use of her car, petrol and from her driving while you get to relax as a passenger. OF COURSE you should split the cost of the petrol between you - it's just another cost of the holiday that you are jointly incurring and should split.

When you say you are not the best with money - is there a chance she feels the need to ask you for this because you have form for not paying your way?

I'm usually the driver when I go away with friends, and I never usually have to ask for petrol money (I would if I needed to) - it's usual polite social etiquette for the passenger to offer it, and a bit rude and thoughtless of a passenger to not offer it. Of course the driver is at liberty to accept or say no thanks.

Of course you should pay! Why should you get chauffeured around and not contribute?

She probably wouldn't either with someone else. Your attitude is probably why she learnt the hard way to put in some boundaries preventing you to sponge of her. Personally I would have offered petrol money and if my friend declined I would have made it up by buying her meal or something. But then again I'm not a CF.

I personally don’t charge for petrol, but I don’t expect to be charged in return. On the basis that I drive sometimes and sometimes other people drive so it works out in the end. We are also not short of money.
BUT if someone asked for it, I would absolutely hand it over and just charge them next time. If they are asking it’s likely because they need it.

Thanks all for the comments. 💕
I’ve bought the snacks for our journey and a bottle of Prosecco to enjoy once we’re there, I will contribute to petrol money. I’ve never been a free loader I drive places too.
Googling help to be less of a CF now 😂

I would expect my friend to give some contribution to fuel.. times are hard now for the majority of people. I would also have offered if someone was giving me a lift and if they said no, transferred money over and insisted