To not want my parents to go in my bedroom (I'm 33 yrs old)

[Gummybearmum]

My parents have started looking after my 1 year old son one day a week so I can work. Both times they've been into mine and my partners bedroom. First time they said my baby crawled into there, so they went to get him out. Second time there was a little pile of clean laundry on our bed, when I came home mum had ironed it. I thanked her, as I know she's only trying to help, but she shouldn't have even known it was there. My partner really doesn't like it, he says it's our personal space. I agree but have no idea how to say to them..

Every individual's circumstances are unique & different
There are some parents whom would cause more problems if you dared to put a lock on your bedroom door
Not all parents are just trying to make life simpler
We can never judged others circumstances upon our own

Aha, you have a cunning plan 😂

I don't think you're BU to not want anyone in your private space while you're not home however, unless you've anything to hide does it really matter if your Mum goes in? why not leave something very embarrassing on your bedside cabinet that might make her think twice about going in again . You could also leave your laundry pile in the Kitchen & she may take the hint not to go in your room. If it really bothers you that much get a little lock on the door so she can't get in.

I really feel for you,as a person whose mother went through my things every day from when I was at school to the day I escaped at 17. I knew she was doing it so I would put things in a certain position,measure that position then check when I got back. I was always right, things had moved and I felt so violated. No idea what she thought she'd find!
Put a lock on your door, you don't have to say anything about it.Or, they could look after your child at theirs?

My heart goes out to, God Bless Your Sincere Soul
Yes Completely Compassionately Empathise & Really Relate To Your Upsetting Violating Experiences
It was my father whom did the snooping & it's totally out of order, unacceptable & it is all about controlling other individuals
Horrendously horrible circumstances to live under & if someone's never experienced this type of violation of their own privacy they can't possibly understand
Much Love To You&Yours From Me&Mine

There's much more to personal private space, than not slumbering, in someone else's bed
Boundaries & private space should always be respected, even by Welcome Visitors or Family

One pays in privacy? Is that the fair cost of childcare is that nowhere in your own home is private? Where can a person have privacy if not on their own bedroom.?

If she was paying her mother, would OP be then have the right to privacy, as a fully functioning adult, with boundaries in an adult relationship where she shares a private bedroom with her partner?

Immensely imperative valid point
God Bless You&Yours
Thank you
Numerous grandparents willingly & unconditionally choose to look after their Grandchildren freely
That's the privilege of being a Grandparent, it's not a chore, looking after your Beloved Precious Grandchildren

People, even parents, will sometimes snoop in places they have no right to. I don't buy that the baby crawled into your room unless someone was negligent watching the baby. Maybe right through the doorway, but should have been instantly scooped up. And as you said, she wouldn't have known there were clothes to be ironed if she wasn't in there looking around.

It's not just your mother entering your bedroom like she might have when you were a kid. It's your husband's room too, and your parents cross a line when they enter his private domain. Just casually mention that you've starting closing the door because you and hubby feel kind of invaded when someone goes in your room, and you don't want to tempt the baby anymore.

Your mother chooses to ignore any boundaries set. Laughing at your brothers need for privacy growing up is bad enough.

But doing nothing to protect your privacy from your father coming into the bathroom while you were bathing naked in your 20’s? Come on OP, that’s nowhere near normal.

Don’t allow them to do that to your son.

Hey, my mom was a massive snooper, and a mean one too. Put a lock on the door and don’t say a word. Problem solved 💛

Just tell them not to go in there. If you are worried then then put a lock on the door. You can excuse it as the fact that they told you the baby got into the room while they were looking after said baby, and that you have medications etc etc etc in there and don't want the baby to get into it - so are putting the lock on the door for peace of mind.

Completely Concur With You Wholeheartedly Sincere Soul
Brilliant post
I think there's numerous souls whom can't comprehend how violated you feel unless you yourself have suffered a snooping nosey parker interfering parent
The worst are those whom behold double standards
They would detest if you went through their belongings but still go through yours 😥
My father thrown out sentimental items belongings of my Children & I's
Bang out of order so I empathise compassionately with anyone whom's had the upsetting violating experience of this or something similar too
💚🌼💚

Simply put a lock on your bedroom door- Simple and to the point, no need to even address it with them. They will definitely get the message. What can they even say? We wanted to snoop in your room, but the door was locked