DH tells me off publicly when I interrupt him while he's on the phone and I hate it - AIBU?

[Zeemie22]

My DH (44) tells me (36) off and doesn't hold back around friends or family if I interject while he's on a call, even if it is with a casual friend or one of his brothers or his mum or whoever else, not just business calls which I almost never interrupt. It makes me feel disrespected, like I'm small and I'm not allowed to be a part of that conversation even if it's his brother on the phone making plans for everyone getting together for a family lunch and me saying hey how about that XYZ place we went to. I said it thrice because DH ignored me the first two times. The third time he snapped at me and yelled that I have no manners and that I am interrupting him again and again while he's on a call. He was on a call with his brother. I'm his wife and I was to attend that lunch too as a guest at the restaurant my husband and my in laws were hosting.

Also, when I went to the restaurant there was a menu on the table and I picked it up and said can I order this - it was something grilled. He said no it is going to take a long time and they've already ordered and the food is going to come any minute. Well it took a good 20 minutes before the food arrived and I was only wanting a plate of mince grilled kebabs that I'm sure wouldn't have taken any longer than 20 minutes, and even if it did I wouldn't have had an issue waiting. And when he said no you can't order it, my MIL started laughing and I felt super embarassed. I felt insulted. I didn't want to to eat that table after that and my husband kept forcing me to eat when I had lost my appetite and started saying loud enough for others to hear well if you want a fight we will have a fight but not here, at home.

I felt insulted and belittled. Twice in a day.

Am I overthinking this? AIBU? What would you do if you were in my shoes? How would you have reacted?

I have to say to my OH 'Im talking' because he constantly interrupts in conversations. Its rude.

Hi OP, I think I would find your interruptions difficult, as I know someone who does this to his wife and she can’t engage properly with people because of his interruptions (she has told him this many times in front of me).

Why are you asking him what you can order? Just order it.

Well, I don't think his attitude to you is great so in that respect you are not unreasonable.

But I would get highly pissed off if my DH kept wittering while I was trying to hold a phone conversation, so I can see why your DH gets annoyed about this

I’d say interrupting him on the phone is really annoying. I would hate it too and tell my DH to bugger off if he kept interrupting my calls. Can’t you wait til he’s finished the call and then talk to him? He ignored you twice and you kept going, which is rude imo.

I don’t really understand the restaurant problem - had food been ordered for everyone and you wanted more?

Is there more at play here though? Is he usually controlling or perhaps are you?

I think there might be two sides to this story.

Are you generally very sensitive?

Stop interrupting when he is on the phone- it’s not a group call, you’re not part of the conversation. I HATE that myself.

I would get annoyed too. It’s rude

It would drive me mad with someone getting involved in my phone calls especially you sometimes do it with business calls but it sounds like there is more to it with the restaurant thing as well

I would hate to be constantly interrupted on a phone call, whoever I was talking to.
He’s an arse for telling you you’re not ‘allowed’ to order a particular dish at a restaurant though.

Interrupting someone on the phone is incredibly rude!

Are you really 36 - you sound about 10!

Had you already ordered some food? And just decided you wanted more? I can't quite figure that one out

But it's rude and odd to butt in on people's phone calls

It's incredibly irritating and rude when someone interrupts when you're talking on the phone. It doesn't matter who you are talking to. So you ABVU for that.

The food ordering is confusing though. Everyone else had ordered but you hadn't? Or you wanted an additional dish as a starter and that meant everyone else would have to wait?

You also said you ‘almost never’ interrupt a business call… so you do sometimes?

Yabu about the phone...I hate it when my dh (or the kids) interrupt me or try and butt in when I'm on the phone.

I don't get the restaurant thing...why had everyone already ordered? And why didn't you just order what you wanted? He isn't the boss of you!

Sensitive or controlling or both?
Why do you need to be involved in his private phone calls?
The drama llama around ordering food sounds exhausting. Almost like you are seeking things to martyrdom about.

What do you mean by saying that he forced you to keep eating?

You shouldn't be trying to get involved when he's on a call of any kind.

He sounds like a prick if he behaves like he did in the restaurant as the norm. I'm not sure why you're not capable of ordering what food you want generally.

Yes what you are doing is rude. Stop it. Why are you trying to input into a phone conversation? If they wanted your opinion they would call you, or indeed, your DH would ask.

'not just business calls which I almost never interrupt. '

Why would you EVER interrupt a business call - do you own the business ?

Well unless op ordered a chateaubriand and everyone else is ordering toasties and baked potatoes!

Hes treating you like a child.

First example - stop getting involved in his phone calls.

Second - why didn't you order at the same time as everybody else? I don't understand that one.

You almost never interrupt a work call? Why are you ever interrupting a work call? Just leave him to it for all his calls.

I find people butting into my phone conversations incredibly rude- yabu

The phone thing is super annoying. Don't interrupt people like that.

The restaurant is a bit hard to follow. Had you ordered and then you decided you wanted something else? If so, I can see why he said no, but he could maybe have been a bit more flexible there. You sulking about not getting your way and refusing to eat was just silly and childish. I would have been annoyed about that too.