Leisure centre manager had a pop at me… and I can’t get it out of my head!

[ForestMum2020]

I just want to have a moan / get this off my chest I think.

I take my 2 year old twins to a gymnastics class at a leisure centre. The centre has a big soft play which we have to walk round to get to the class, and it’s all glass panels so the soft play is totally in view. There’s a gate at the back of the soft play next to the class.

At the end of their first lesson back in September, they asked to go in the soft play. The other mums from the class used the back gate to go in. So, I said yes to the girls, we went through the back gate, and I asked one of the other mums what the deal was. She just shrugged and said it was fine, they do it every week and no one has said anything. There’s only ever a couple of other people using it, and the reception looks into soft play, so there’s no way the centre weren’t aware.

Fast forward to now (9 months later) and we’ve been going into the soft play after every lesson. Nowadays the twins will play for all of five minutes, then come out and eat lunch, then go back in for five minutes and we go home. It’s a lovely easy routine for us.

Today, the manager approached me and said I shouldn’t be in there. I’d not paid to use the facility and she’s aware this has been going on for some time. She didn’t say anything to any of the other gym class mums. I apologised profusely and said I genuinely didn’t think the centre were bothered because it’s so empty and all the mums do it. She got quite rude, but she wasn’t aggressive. So I just apologised again and packed up our stuff. She asked me to make sure I paid on the way out so I did (£16! Not cheap!).

I just can’t shake how mortified I am. And frustrated. I’m such a rule follower and I let my guard down under the excuse of “everyone else was doing it!”

I’ve cancelled my membership to the class and shan’t go back. I hate that the manager had been watching me for some time and clearly took issue with me over the other mums for some reason. I just wish someone at reception had said at some stage “make sure you pay for the soft play if you’re headed in there!”.

But I also hate myself for wanting to never go back. I find it hard to do much with the twins and this was working so well. I’ve cut my nose off to spite my face.

How do I stop myself overthinking this whole thing??

‘The other mums were doing it!’ is a piss poor excuse.

Most people would probably take advantage the once but then check with reception if it’s ok to pop in for a few minutes after their class.

Just be thankful that Mr Brittas wasn’t there to sort you out!

Perhaps leave a review to this effect on Trip Advisor, or better still contact the manager and demand the rationale behind her actions.

This is getting silly 😄You think the OP should leave a bad review or demand to speak to the manager because... she finally got asked to pay for the service she'd been sneaking into for months? They didn't even ask her to pay for all the other times she'd left without paying, so she got off lightly.

I know "Karen" is an overused term, but it really does apply here. It's reminding me of that thread where posters advised a woman to complain because a member of staff asked a shoplifter to pay for the stuff she was trying to shoplift.

I agree, the whole concept of 'customer service' seems to have forgotten the customer bit, as in you are exchanging money for goods or services.

It's now seen as 'bad' customer service to even request that payment is made, and if it isn't then decline to provide that service or those goods.

Apparently you should be grateful as a member of staff or business owner that people give you the time of day and their presence and the opportunity to serve them should be enough of a reward.

People seem to think that hospitality businesses are duty bound to put up with any amount of piss taking, but from what I can see the industry is struggling to maintain staff more than customers. The whole attitude is killing hospitality because who in their right mind goes into and stays in an industry where it's considered bad form and you're slated 6 ways from Sunday for charging for the goods and services you provide?

Greetings, please can someone so kindly inform me of what MN & IRL abbreviate please? I'm so confused by some abbreviations 💚🤔💚

@HevenlyMeS

Mumsnet and in real life

Are you of the opinion that leisure centres shouldn't charge for their facilities? This talk of "revenge" suggests you think people are entitled to free use.

100%

Thank you immensely for your thoughtful enlightenments

Perhaps leave a review to this effect on Trip Advisor, or better still contact the manager and demand the rationale behind her actions

oh I’d love to read that trip advisor review 😆

and as “demand the rationale”…. This genuinely made me laugh out loud @HughGrantsfurrysquirrel !

Indeed…
“I spent 9 months using the facilities without paying by sneaking in the back way, and the manager had the utter temerity to call me on it”.

You can only assume some people don’t actually mix much in normal society.

I apologised profusely and said I genuinely didn’t think the centre were bothered because it’s so empty and all the mums do it.

but you did say that, not in the words the other poster used but you did tell the manager about the other mums.

Seems to me that on the basis of one little exchange with one mum 9 months ago… the OP assumed that everyone else was doing the same week in and week out for 9 months after!

You couldn’t have “ratted out” the other mums Op

you didn’t know any of their names! 😆

This lovely Mum might well have known the other Mums names
When my Sons were younger I did know numerous of the other Mums names within my Sons activities
It's nice to see the good & the best in other Mums especially 💚🌼💚
This Mum seems Immensely lovely

I wouldn't be surprised if some of the other Mums might've stitched this lovely Mum up
Sometimes it can just take one of the other Mums
Also the Manager might even be envious of this Mum with twins
She could be an older bitter spinster type Manager resentful of some whom're more attractive, younger etc
Also some are demons for sensing vulnerability in sweet souls & from reading her posts here & how much this dear Mum apologised profusely etc, I'd say this power trip Manager sensed her vulnerability & ceized the moment 💚😥💚

This reminds me of a time when I worked in a high street bakery.

Guy comes to the till to pay for a sandwich and I asked him if he also wanted to pay for the one he'd stuffed in his jacket.

He dramatically slammed them on the counter, turned round and shouted as he walked out "I'm not coming here again!" 😁😁

Our leisure centre has a soft play which is 'free' to use if you have a membership so I would have assumed this was the case if others weren't paying an additional payment for this.

I think this is an opportunity.
We all make mistakes, OP, and as you say, you are a rule player and what stings is the „being told off“ and being thought badly of.
Im a similar character.
But. There is so much to be said for letting this go. it’s not the crime of the century. Forgive yourself. Tell yourself: you made a mistake. No one died. Also, you cannot help what other people think of you. If the leisure Center manager thinks you’re up there with the Krays, so what.
I think it would do you good to reinstate the membership and continue to go back, head held high. I have a sense that styling this out could lead to so much more for you and your social anxiety.
x

Yes Completely Concur With You Sincere Soul
Our previous gym we paid memberships which covers the cost of numerous activities under the same roof, just makes life simpler

She seems an Immensely lovely Mum & person doesn't she, God Bless Her & Her Sweet Twins
I can't see the manager or anyone sincere thinking badly of her at all
I really get the sense this manager just wished to abuse her power
Like you so rightly mention "'opportunity"' & sadly numerous types whom choose positions beholding power, are opportunists & love to control
God Bless You&Yours for your compassionate motivating, inspiring wisdom 💚🌼💚

Completely Concur With You
Sincere Soul
I'm Sure This Lovely Mum Must've Felt Unsupported & Even Some Level Of Betrayal Too 💚🌼💚