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Original poster

Fecking sports day

240 replies

HippyKayYay · 03/06/2025 15:11

DD is in yr 7 and I've just found out they still have sports day - in secondary. DD is unsporty, uncoordinated and uncompetitive. She hates it. I hated it. I still hate it. It's miserable for her. She tries her best and is very supportive of her mates. But it still makes her feel shit about herself and has done every year that she's had to do it. Despite all our positive reinforcement and conversations about taking part, blah di blah di blah... And I thought we were finally done with it (for her) when she left primary last year. But no...

She is active, gets movement and exercise in ways she enjoys, btw. So it's not about that. But it really hacks me off. No one is making kids do maths or art or science competitively and in public. So why is it ok to make them do this for sport?

Btw - I have a younger DC who is super sporty and fast. But they also hate sports day (finds it really stressful and gets very nervous).

Why do schools do this? Why is it ok to do this for sport but not other subjects? It's just bloody mean to unsporty/ uncoordinated kids...

OP posts:
SouthLondonMum22 · 04/06/2025 21:37

UniReunion · 04/06/2025 20:14

No, my view is not that ridiculous hyperbolic nonsense.
It’s (clue in the name) Sports Day. So every child should do sports.

Presumably, you as a parent, don’t like academics being sabotaged by people who don’t share your view. So you shouldn’t feel entitled to diminish it for others.

Now, if you don’t like how the actual sports day in your actual school is happening, you need to step away from spouting at the internet and go speak to the school with a proposal that gets all the kids, dare I say it, doing sports and which would also be satisfactory to you.

There are loads of different sports, at loads of different levels. If your family can find nothing better than the Biathlon of Sofa Sitting plus Competitive Whining, maybe just maybe it isn’t the school.

Show quote history

Taking your child out of sports day doesn't diminish it or sabotage it for the sporty children or having it be voluntary because they can still do their thing and have their moment of glory. Why would they need non sporty children for that? If anything, the competition would be better and more challenging for sporty children.

Pompompurin1 · 04/06/2025 21:38

Just say she had a stomach bug and keep her off.

UniReunion · 04/06/2025 21:51

Actually, taking your child out usually is sabotaging it. It certainly is giving a middle finger to the school.

Sports day is actually for everyone, and unsporty kids being validated in a belief that sports are for ‘other’ people does them a massive disservice. And as is so often the case - it is a belief system fostered at home.

JenniferBooth · 04/06/2025 21:57

UniReunion · 04/06/2025 21:51

Actually, taking your child out usually is sabotaging it. It certainly is giving a middle finger to the school.

Sports day is actually for everyone, and unsporty kids being validated in a belief that sports are for ‘other’ people does them a massive disservice. And as is so often the case - it is a belief system fostered at home.

PE teacher and school gave the middle finger to me. I only reciprocated.

SouthLondonMum22 · 04/06/2025 23:22

UniReunion · 04/06/2025 21:51

Actually, taking your child out usually is sabotaging it. It certainly is giving a middle finger to the school.

Sports day is actually for everyone, and unsporty kids being validated in a belief that sports are for ‘other’ people does them a massive disservice. And as is so often the case - it is a belief system fostered at home.

How is it sabotaging it when it isn't stopping those who want to from taking part?

Sports day is what often leads to unsporty kids thinking that sport just isn't for them due to how the day can make unsporty kids feel. I know I didn't realise that actually, I do enjoy some sport, until many years after my school sports days. Sports day made me loathe sports.

It would be so easy to make it more inclusive and make the competitive sports optional.

DrCoconut · 04/06/2025 23:33

My DS is one of the geeky kids and he and his friends do the coverage of sports day for the school social media and newsletter. They use the iPads to take photos and make a note of who won what etc and then put articles together. It's far more fun for them than actually having to do the sports or be bored to death watching. There is unfortunately a bit of an assumption in most schools that everyone is nuts about sport and people can't see why the kids who are more academic aren't interested. DS is really lucky that his school get it and provide alternatives.

Andoutcomethewolves · 04/06/2025 23:37

One of my enduring memories of sports day in y7 is a classmate tactically dropping out of a 1k run by feigning sickness and me being coerced into taking her place by the teacher. I walked the entire route and caused a huge delay as I ambled around (I still can't run!).

I was however excellent at the javelin and hammer!

DrCoconut · 04/06/2025 23:38

GallifreyGirl · 04/06/2025 14:14

My son was unfortunate to be ill on each one of his sports days 😅

Oh dear, how sad 😂😂 Did they not spot the pattern?

WaneyEdge · 04/06/2025 23:45

ClassySassyBonnieLassie · 03/06/2025 15:17

My son is in secondary and they have to sign up to take part in events on sports day and those that don’t want to, just do a normal school day.

We could do this at my school….in theory. The PE teachers used to threaten that if you didn’t put your name down for something then they might put you in for an event. Way to encourage bullying if you were crap at sports and therefore lost every event in your year group 🙄.

soloula · 05/06/2025 00:52

My two hate sports day. Our primary school is very big on sporting achievements and they make a big fuss of the sporty kids. But the academic kids don't get the same praise and opportunities to shine and it winds me up. Sports teams it's always the fastest or most skilled to make sure they win. Inter house quiz it's the house captains and a handful of class ambassadors, not always the smartest kids. Because everyone has to have a chance but I don't think it's fair given the best kids are always chosen for sport. My eldest's teacher criticised my daughter at parents' night saying she's always the first with her hand up to answer questions and shes had to ask her a few times to not be so quick to stop making other kids feel bad. I asked if she got the fast kids to slow down at PE, knowing fine well they don't. I'm all for letting the fast kids run fast but let the clever kids be clever. Let the artistic kids have their pictures on display in pride of place and so on. I think all the forced participation in sports day (and public humiliation they might feel compared to peers) puts a lot of kids off sports for good. So I feel your pain OP!

Tessasanderson · 05/06/2025 09:07

I love the life message we are giving our children here.

If you dont like something, make up an excuse and avoid it. It may only be physical exercise but it will be a nice little behaviour they can carry into the rest of life. Dont like doing as they are told, dont like tidying their room, dont like getting a job, dont like........ I suppose it feeds all the threads on here when mothers are asking why their young adults are out of control. Its OK we can just blame it on some abbreviation such as sen (Undiagnosed of course)

JustHereForthePIP · 05/06/2025 09:15

I do get where you're coming from, but you're completely wrong to think that other subjects in school aren't competitive or public. All subjects they study in school are competitive, with regular tests and exams once they are in secondary school. Many subjects are streamed, so it is very much public knowledge if you're good a maths/English/science etc. By the time they get to GCSE, there are higher and foundation level papers...

All children have to deal with this at some point, and for some kids like my oldest DC it's a daily experience of not being "good" at stuff in a very public way. At least he's sporty though, so on one single day he can do ok at school.

So while I agree with you, at least sports day is just one day, and it has no impact on your child's future. There's a much bigger issue with how academic subjects are taught and assessed.

Sharptonguedwoman · 05/06/2025 09:16

HippyKayYay · 03/06/2025 15:11

DD is in yr 7 and I've just found out they still have sports day - in secondary. DD is unsporty, uncoordinated and uncompetitive. She hates it. I hated it. I still hate it. It's miserable for her. She tries her best and is very supportive of her mates. But it still makes her feel shit about herself and has done every year that she's had to do it. Despite all our positive reinforcement and conversations about taking part, blah di blah di blah... And I thought we were finally done with it (for her) when she left primary last year. But no...

She is active, gets movement and exercise in ways she enjoys, btw. So it's not about that. But it really hacks me off. No one is making kids do maths or art or science competitively and in public. So why is it ok to make them do this for sport?

Btw - I have a younger DC who is super sporty and fast. But they also hate sports day (finds it really stressful and gets very nervous).

Why do schools do this? Why is it ok to do this for sport but not other subjects? It's just bloody mean to unsporty/ uncoordinated kids...

Does she have to compete? Has she checked? Unless it's a really small school, likely there'll be some who don't take part and do the scoring or similar.

OrchardDoor · 05/06/2025 10:52

OP said her dd would hate to be let off taking part or to skip school so probably not much to be done about it.

caffelattetogo · 05/06/2025 11:48

Can she chuck a shot put?

KoiTetra · 05/06/2025 12:06

HippyKayYay · 03/06/2025 15:11

DD is in yr 7 and I've just found out they still have sports day - in secondary. DD is unsporty, uncoordinated and uncompetitive. She hates it. I hated it. I still hate it. It's miserable for her. She tries her best and is very supportive of her mates. But it still makes her feel shit about herself and has done every year that she's had to do it. Despite all our positive reinforcement and conversations about taking part, blah di blah di blah... And I thought we were finally done with it (for her) when she left primary last year. But no...

She is active, gets movement and exercise in ways she enjoys, btw. So it's not about that. But it really hacks me off. No one is making kids do maths or art or science competitively and in public. So why is it ok to make them do this for sport?

Btw - I have a younger DC who is super sporty and fast. But they also hate sports day (finds it really stressful and gets very nervous).

Why do schools do this? Why is it ok to do this for sport but not other subjects? It's just bloody mean to unsporty/ uncoordinated kids...

"no one is making kids do maths or art or science competitively and in public"

Well I would argue exams are competitive and public so yes, yes they are.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/06/2025 12:09

DD’s secondary school do it for years 7-10 but there’s no audience of parents, just the kids.

Also I think you have to sign up for events you want to do, so not compulsory to do anything (I think!)

Our secondary school one was similar - you made a team in your form group with people doing the events they wanted to do.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/06/2025 12:10

KoiTetra · 05/06/2025 12:06

"no one is making kids do maths or art or science competitively and in public"

Well I would argue exams are competitive and public so yes, yes they are.

Show quote history

I agree with this! And much more pressure on them.

gannett · 05/06/2025 12:23

SouthLondonMum22 · 04/06/2025 23:22

How is it sabotaging it when it isn't stopping those who want to from taking part?

Sports day is what often leads to unsporty kids thinking that sport just isn't for them due to how the day can make unsporty kids feel. I know I didn't realise that actually, I do enjoy some sport, until many years after my school sports days. Sports day made me loathe sports.

It would be so easy to make it more inclusive and make the competitive sports optional.

Show quote history

Not just sports day but everything about school sports is only geared to the kids who have a natural affinity for specific, limited team sports. Absolutely nothing about school sports helps kids without that natural affinity to get better at sports or learn to love sports in general.

I was unsporty in school and I thought I hated sports - I did hate hockey, netball and being yelled at to go faster/try harder by teachers I hated and my jolly hockey sticks peers. I also didn't give a shit so I'd go out of my way to make zero effort on sports day - walking the 100m, ducking under the high jump - and they soon learned not to make me do anything. I think on one cross-country I took a book, walked round a few corners, sat behind a tree and read it for a couple of hours, then walked back.

Fast forward to my adult life and on any given day I'm doing a home workout, playing a tennis match or running 20km. Oddly enough it turns out that I can be motivated to do sport and exercise when I'm not being yelled at by people who have no real interest in helping me get better!

Renabrook · 05/06/2025 12:30

So would there be people lining up to watch teams to compete in who can do long division the fastest? I presume they have competitions with sports is for the physical aspect and that would be hard to do stuck sat in a classroom at a desk where mental activity can be done solo?

QuickPeachPoet · 05/06/2025 14:13

All this 'the sporty kids are celebrated but the arty/maths/whatever else ones aren't... THAT IS LIFE. When a team wins the premier league, it's all over the news. When the Wimbledon final is on, it's got prime coverage. The Olympics? enough said. Does the world chess championships, impressive art exhibitions, maths competitions, spelling bees, and cultural stuff get the same attention? NO THEY DON'T. And those involved in them put up with it. So yes, this is a day for the sporty kids. Will the non sporty ones get the same attention for the things they are good at? Probably not. But that is life.

SouthLondonMum22 · 05/06/2025 15:39

QuickPeachPoet · 05/06/2025 14:13

All this 'the sporty kids are celebrated but the arty/maths/whatever else ones aren't... THAT IS LIFE. When a team wins the premier league, it's all over the news. When the Wimbledon final is on, it's got prime coverage. The Olympics? enough said. Does the world chess championships, impressive art exhibitions, maths competitions, spelling bees, and cultural stuff get the same attention? NO THEY DON'T. And those involved in them put up with it. So yes, this is a day for the sporty kids. Will the non sporty ones get the same attention for the things they are good at? Probably not. But that is life.

If it's a day for the sporty kids, the non sporty kids can have a day off then.

ByCyanMoose · 05/06/2025 15:44

QuickPeachPoet · 05/06/2025 14:13

All this 'the sporty kids are celebrated but the arty/maths/whatever else ones aren't... THAT IS LIFE. When a team wins the premier league, it's all over the news. When the Wimbledon final is on, it's got prime coverage. The Olympics? enough said. Does the world chess championships, impressive art exhibitions, maths competitions, spelling bees, and cultural stuff get the same attention? NO THEY DON'T. And those involved in them put up with it. So yes, this is a day for the sporty kids. Will the non sporty ones get the same attention for the things they are good at? Probably not. But that is life.

None of which constitutes even the remotest argument for forcing non-sporty kids to participate in sports day against their will. If your kids want to, good for them. Of course, then your kids would only get to be compared with others who are actually skilled enough to compete with them. Rather than getting to pump up their self-esteem by destroying the nerds.

ByCyanMoose · 05/06/2025 15:47

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/06/2025 12:10

I agree with this! And much more pressure on them.

Show quote history

The notion that individual pupil exams taken in class are as competitive and public as athletic competitions, done outside in front of all other pupils and their families, is absurd on its face.

Original poster
HippyKayYay · 05/06/2025 16:30

QuickPeachPoet · 05/06/2025 14:13

All this 'the sporty kids are celebrated but the arty/maths/whatever else ones aren't... THAT IS LIFE. When a team wins the premier league, it's all over the news. When the Wimbledon final is on, it's got prime coverage. The Olympics? enough said. Does the world chess championships, impressive art exhibitions, maths competitions, spelling bees, and cultural stuff get the same attention? NO THEY DON'T. And those involved in them put up with it. So yes, this is a day for the sporty kids. Will the non sporty ones get the same attention for the things they are good at? Probably not. But that is life.

people compete in Wimbledon, etc, out of choice. And I should have thought that if they're at that level, they're, relatively, one of the best in the world. Not at all comparable to compulsory sports day participation for the non-sporty.

OP posts: