Fecking sports day

[HippyKayYay]

DD is in yr 7 and I've just found out they still have sports day - in secondary. DD is unsporty, uncoordinated and uncompetitive. She hates it. I hated it. I still hate it. It's miserable for her. She tries her best and is very supportive of her mates. But it still makes her feel shit about herself and has done every year that she's had to do it. Despite all our positive reinforcement and conversations about taking part, blah di blah di blah... And I thought we were finally done with it (for her) when she left primary last year. But no...

She is active, gets movement and exercise in ways she enjoys, btw. So it's not about that. But it really hacks me off. No one is making kids do maths or art or science competitively and in public. So why is it ok to make them do this for sport?

Btw - I have a younger DC who is super sporty and fast. But they also hate sports day (finds it really stressful and gets very nervous).

Why do schools do this? Why is it ok to do this for sport but not other subjects? It's just bloody mean to unsporty/ uncoordinated kids...

Then let the sporty ones shine, while letting the others sit out if they want to. Other children are not obligated to humiliate themselves in order to make athletes look better by comparison.

Where was the public spelling bee so others could also shine.......in public

Why is it ok to do this for sport but not other subjects?

They do, they are called tests and exams.

I have 2 ND children and have every sympathy, and focusing on what could be better for your child is absolutely fine. Saying that it's the only thing that kids struggle with that's similar, not fine.

What would make it better - advertising some events as "no audience watching" for example? Feed it back to the school, see what they can do.

Every year this subject comes up. Both my kids hated sports day so I let them stay at home. They weren't the only ones. School was relaxed about it.

The worst sports days were when it was baking hot and kids had to sit or run about outside for hours with no shade and everybody ending up feeling unwell.
Sod that for a lark.

It’s worse in secondary as it’s really competitive. The class feels let down if you lose, especially the ones who are really good at sports.

I think sports days it should be encouraged, but if some kids really don’t want to or are completely out of their depth they shouldn’t be forced to participate.

BUT I think sports days should happen, and be properly competitive, none of this everyone’s a winner tosh. All kids have their thing, no one (usually) is good at everything, so the kids who are good at sport should get their day, just like the kids who are good at art, or maths, or English.

DCs sports days were always class v class, so there was great team spirit, my only complaint was that they insisted everyone did the long distance race, which sadly was beyond some, however the winners of the race did to their credit carry on running with the poor soul in last place until he finished.

Sports days should not just be about those taking part in the events. Every sport needs someone such as an umpire, scorer, starter or some other important role that enables the activity to take place. An opportunity for the less sporting children.

So I don't think parents should be withdrawing children and keeping them at home, they should be advocating taking part in other ways.

My school bullies tried to get me to take part to make up the numbers after bullying and taking the piss out of me for years for being crap at it. I told them to shove it

I was at a large school and my school sports day were held at the local athletics track. We all had to go to watch rain or shine. If you were good at athletics or field then beforehand you could do a race or throw javelin. But most people sat in their allocated row with their classmates and just talked all day with their friends. A much better way to do it than others descriptions I feel.

Secondary sports days tend to be less awful than primary. Often the chucking medieval weapons at your feet and nose-diving "events" tend to be done as part of the standard humiliation package of PE lessons as there's not enough capacity for the full-scale public ritual. Likewise with 1000+ y7s-y10s to take their turn, there is usually only one or two chances to display ineptitude on the track as you can't fit everyone in for every event.

Also being teenagers (or teenagers-in-training) most are more interested in gossiping outside of lessons than actually watching half a day of demonstrations of how not to run.

I specialised in being left to do the 1500m because no one else wanted to embarass themself for so long; I'd do a nice wheezy solo final lap and staggering into the finish line to tannoy calls for the first aider. Frankly that was better than being presented with a skipping rope that I couldn't use at age 7 and being left to learn to skip in front of the whole school plus parents.

Relays are a weird team sport... normally you do team sports with your team mates, but no you get bollocked for running with your team mates.
Make your bloody minds up PE staff

(I have discovered in adulthood under the caring tutelage of my mobile phone that the reason that school running is so awful is because it takes 4km to warm up and muscles to remember that they can actually run, oh and running is better when not in a dull oval and a choice of scenery is avaliable)

A storm in a tea cup.

Your dd's friends won't care haw badly your dd is doing other than wanting to reassure her and be kind surely. Otherwise they're not her friends.

No wonder we have an obesity crisis as so many kids are put off physical activity for life by PE teachers and sports day performative humiliation.
Schools need to completely rethink how PE is taught.

I would check how the school organise Sports Day, as all schools do it differently and they often don’t have time for everyone to take part in the main bit that everyone watches. She definitely won’t be the only one dreading it, so I’d have a quiet word possibly with her tutor to find out how it works so she’s prepared. None of the schools I’ve worked in have had mandatory participation in the main bit that everyone watches, it’s always been on an opt in basis. (Thankfully I was pregnant the year someone thought the staff relay would be a good idea!)

DD’s is fantastic, everyone does a sport to start and you opt for what you want to do and they put on a range of things from cricket, frisbee, rounders, table tennis etc. but no one watches, it’s like a normal but relaxed PE lesson as all the teachers come and help the PE department. It’s then followed by an art session where they make banners and decorations in their houses and then in the afternoon, they parade out onto the field with their banners for the afternoon to do the track races and that’s all opt in so no one is forced to take part if they don’t want to. (DD says the working out who does what is taken seriously so they strategically place the best runners!) There’s usually a couple of very perky PE teachers on the tannoy leading the whole school in various dances e.g. The Maracena etc. no parents watch, but you can hear it from our house! It sounds fabulous!

Sporty kids can shine without forcing non sporty kids to do it though. That way everyone is happy.

From the other side of the coin…. I was that unicorn at school that aced everything and drama/gymnastics/athletics was my mega shine opportunity.

Sadly I had two parents who were so engrossed in their marriage breakup and affairs that neither of them ever came to watch me win the sprint or play the lead in the school play.

I hope it helps that a tiny handful of the best athletes gave it loads of spirit but still didn’t get the thrill of shining in front of an audience who didn’t truly care if they came first or last. I desperately wanted to get that cuddle for trying regardless. There’s no such thing as a perfect life

This thread has just made me gulp at the memory so bless all you mums that care enough to care about the pressure this event throws out at your children

Just keep them at home for that day - that's what I used to do! Mine hated it at school but they are in their twenties now and actually love sport/exercise now they've left school. So it makes no difference to how active they are when older. I never let mine skip anything academic, but for sports day I just kept them off.

The most heartbreaking thing I had yo watch was my daughter humiliated at sports day when she was in year 5 and the biggest in her year, they did a "cross country" where as a class they all ran across the large field it was held in. She was of course miles behind everyone and took ages to finish. She had been happy to participate in sports day but I wish I'd had the foresight to keep her off. BTW she's lost loads of weight and is slim now but I still feel bad remembering this

My daughter participated in CC during Year 5 and 6 and often came last. We used this opportunity to help her understand that it’s okay not to be first or even in the middle. We wanted her to see the bigger picture, for example, other participants were a lot more developed and tall and some had really professional gear, some were training every day or part of an athletics club. We wanted her to learn to cope with experiences that weren’t ideal or as she had hoped. At that age, it’s important to experience challenges, where you're not always the best or at the top.

It's part of growing up. Children and young people need to be able to handle situations where they don’t come first or achieve perfection. We were proud that she finished the CC race, as it can be tough when others overtake you or even push you out of the way at the start line. Not always being the best or succeeding builds character. It’s good to learn resilience and learning to keep going, than strive to be flawless and perfect and not even give it a go.

Gawd this takes me back.

the ironic thing is as an adult I’ve found that I love sport. I run, cycle, swim and gym. But it took me years to find it out. School PE utterly shattered my self esteem. It was awful.

Don't worry. she doesn't come first in anything (PE or any other subject) 🙄

Its one event per year where maybe some kids who arent academic get to show things they are good at. If someone is good at maths should we make sure they dont get to answer questions in class in case it upsets the children who dont know the answers?

We live in a world full of diverse characters, interests, abilities and issues. Why are we attacking something that in the grand scheme of things is a benefit to most? I remember my DS & DD sports days and the of the biggest smiles were from non sporty children taking part and being cheered on by their schoolmates. For those who try to compete, winning and trying are not dirty words.

For all the rest, grow some backbone and stop teaching your children to quit.

Don't worry. she doesn't come first in anything (PE or any other subject) 🙄
That's brilliant! You have nothing to worry about then 😉

My boys high school do it but only those who want to compete (or who are good at sport, so made to, it seems) have to do it. Everyone else watches and they have face painting and hook a duck plus cake stalls and it’s more of a festival than just the sports.

hook a duck and cake for the non sporty, genius idea!

Sports day was basically voluntary from what I remember of my own secondary school days. Are you sure she HAS to do something?
Although I do remember a similarly-unsporty mate getting recruited into the javelin in about Year 10, but by that age, you're old enough to just take it on the chin.

Personally, I think by the time kids are secondary age, they are old enough to go "fuck this" at something completely unimportant, that they've no interest or skill in. I see nothing wrong with a once-yearly mental health day in this case. Assuming she's otherwise a sensible hard worker.