Fecking sports day

[HippyKayYay]

DD is in yr 7 and I've just found out they still have sports day - in secondary. DD is unsporty, uncoordinated and uncompetitive. She hates it. I hated it. I still hate it. It's miserable for her. She tries her best and is very supportive of her mates. But it still makes her feel shit about herself and has done every year that she's had to do it. Despite all our positive reinforcement and conversations about taking part, blah di blah di blah... And I thought we were finally done with it (for her) when she left primary last year. But no...

She is active, gets movement and exercise in ways she enjoys, btw. So it's not about that. But it really hacks me off. No one is making kids do maths or art or science competitively and in public. So why is it ok to make them do this for sport?

Btw - I have a younger DC who is super sporty and fast. But they also hate sports day (finds it really stressful and gets very nervous).

Why do schools do this? Why is it ok to do this for sport but not other subjects? It's just bloody mean to unsporty/ uncoordinated kids...

What are you going on about?

I wasn't placating bullies. I wasn't doing what they wanted. Everything i did was for me, for my enjoyment. What the hell was i doing that the bullies wanted me to do? They weren't even bullies, they were young kids choosing their friends and trying to put the best team they could together. The same way if there was a quiz team or a spelling team or a chess team, some would be last to be chosen.

The biggest lesson i got from it was that just because i wasnt naturally good at something didnt mean i couldnt get better with practice and effort. It stuck with me in later life too

I was finding those lessons out in normal lessons - turns out I had dyslexia and dsypraxia - I kept plodding along and got better with practise and much more work.

I could not practise my way out of dyspraxia with sports - or the undiagonsed asthma when running. Excerise often triggered what was later diagnosed as asthma and I was told gasping for breath I was just unfit - DD1 PE teachers were first to recongise it in her and suggest GP.

It sound like OP DD has a lot to cope with already - frankly I'm surpsied the school is so unaccomodating - I was really pleasantly surpised by DC secondary and PE - it really had moved on.

Oh and look at all the hate and bile you are spouting in comparison to the positive message i am giving. It speaks volumes.

And dont try to minimize my struggles. I had an entire class target me in a PE lesson once due to my place of birth. I know how it feels to be victimised.

My dad painted all the scenery for the musical that i was in and made the giant green round glasses that we wore for being Oz residents (The Wizard of Oz) the time he spent and the support he gave was lovely. Took up all his free time. I lost him to prostate cancer last October and the support and encouragement he gave me is something i will always treasure

She is autistic and ADHD, and dyspraxia fits with the challenges she's had with anything balance related

OP says this about her DD - yet posters are saying what wrong with feeling occaionally crap about something - as if life won't be handing daily challenges out to this girl.

Keep her off sick on the day. I don't usually approve of this but what is the point of putting a child through a day of torture for no reason.

Let's say a child is super academic so always gets top marks when tests are given back in the class. Everyone in the form knows who gets which mark how are the high fliers. Another child is really good at dance so wins any dance auditions and competitions or comes up top / does well. Or another child is amazing at drama and always chosen for key roles in the school drama production. Another one can draw the most amazing portraits and gets commended for that or wins competitions. And at sports day they take part and come last. What's so bad about that? I don't get it. Are we all meant to feel like winners all of the time?

As i explained in my post above it wasnt just being chosen last. It was the "you can have Jennifer. We had her last time. Its your turn"

PE teacher just stood there and did fuck all. So one lesson i walked off back into changing room, got changed and walked out of school.
Where was that PE teachers accountability. Why do they get a free pass for being too damn lazy to sort out bullying and taking the easy option of pretending it isnt happening.

Ditto Im half Italian

My son was unfortunate to be ill on each one of his sports days 😅

Yep, thats happened to me too. Fighting over who would take the Tessa.

Difference is i wouldnt think of walking out on anything because i was uncomfortable then and NOW in later life. For one, my dad would have bounced me straight back into school with a rocket up my arse. For two i never backed down from a challenge. Challenges come in many forms, academical, working and physical. Its telling that some turn around and walk away.

Your dad sound wonderful. I'm sure you must miss him.

My dad was called into school because he was told i hadnt done my homework. During the discussion the teacher realised SHE had misplaced it. MY dads rocket went up HER arse!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and as for running away. I managed to lose ten stone through diet and excersise in my late twenties. I didnt walk away because it was hard either. Maybe some of us do better when bullying isnt happening. My parents came to watch me get my slimming award and my dad took us to a restaurant afterwards.

Very much so. My birthday is this month and its also on Fathers Day. The first one without him.

Secondary school sports day might not be how you're imagining it OP. Parents don't usually go (state sector) Don't know about private. Mine found it pretty low key compared to primary, unless you were sporty. Mine weren't.
The PE teachers in their school were fine with the non sporty ones too.
If your dd won't skip it there's not a lot you can do I'd have thought.

DD cannot do maths, so she is always upset at being shit at maths, will never win an award for it, she gets overlooked at art which she pours her heart and soul into it, never gets awards, is average in English, will never get an award which makes her feel shit. And before you say, she tries hard, very hard and is on the SEN pathway.

So now i should send her to sports day knowing she cant run to save her life, came last in all running races in primary school AND MAKE HER FEEL EVEN MORE SHIT as its something else she cant do and is getting upset and worked up about.

She will not be going to sport day, she has enough disappointment in school as it is. Its not about feeling like a winner its about listening to her and not letting her humiliate herself running round a track infront of parents and get bullied for "letting the class down" for coming last.

Having an audience of parents I think is a different question and agree they should not be invited.

Gently, OP, there's no need for embarrassment; her classmates will already know what her level is, because they've been doing PE with her all year. They will also know who is worst at Maths, and which kids can't read out loud fluently in English... and so on.
Not everyone is good at sport (I'm rubbish) but everyone loves a person who is a "good sport". If you cross the finish line miles behind everyone else, you stand proud with both hands in the air as if you're Simone Biles nailing a vault, and take an exaggerated bow, then hug the winner.

My eldest in Y8 has hated sports day since day dot. She is quite sporty but just hates competitive sports, she likes to just play for fun. She has refused to take part the past 2 years and given them attitude saying “you can’t make me”. I did get a phone call home about it and I kinda agreed and said if she doesn’t want to she doesn’t want to….
My youngest is in Y3 but she is diagnosed with ASD, she hates loud noises so all the shouting is too much. She’s attended one sports day, cried the whole time and I’ve kept her off school on sports days ever since with no issue from school.

I don’t feel kids should be forced to compete. They should certainly be encouraged, maybe do some tennis, badminton, something not involving running all the time as it gets monotonous. It could make it more fun. If they choose to not take part then that’s their choice!

So you agree then that no child should be forced to participate in this if they don’t want to. Since it is about pleasing ourselves.

My kids school instituted a new plan for sports day which was universally popular. They held heats during ordinary PE in the weeks before the designated day, then the successful sporty kids ran in their races. The rest who were ‘not placed’ were encouraged to attend and participate successfully in the ‘fun marathons’ which consisted of mixed sex races including sack race, ball manoeuvres round some skittles, same with hockey stick, then hop to finish. Very funny, hilarity ensued and all kids from the first years to sixth form had a scream in their year groups.

No, my view is not that ridiculous hyperbolic nonsense.
It’s (clue in the name) Sports Day. So every child should do sports.

Presumably, you as a parent, don’t like academics being sabotaged by people who don’t share your view. So you shouldn’t feel entitled to diminish it for others.

Now, if you don’t like how the actual sports day in your actual school is happening, you need to step away from spouting at the internet and go speak to the school with a proposal that gets all the kids, dare I say it, doing sports and which would also be satisfactory to you.

There are loads of different sports, at loads of different levels. If your family can find nothing better than the Biathlon of Sofa Sitting plus Competitive Whining, maybe just maybe it isn’t the school.

Sorry i misread that as Biathlon of Sofa Sitting and Competitive Writing.

Maybe because thats how sucessful novelists write, They dont do it running around a field Plenty of achievements involve being sedentary. And then ppl do non competitive excersise to keep fit afterwards

Sports don’t have to be competitive. Neither does sports day. But it should be active.

IN that case parents should also not be invited to the school play and concerts.