Fecking sports day

[HippyKayYay]

DD is in yr 7 and I've just found out they still have sports day - in secondary. DD is unsporty, uncoordinated and uncompetitive. She hates it. I hated it. I still hate it. It's miserable for her. She tries her best and is very supportive of her mates. But it still makes her feel shit about herself and has done every year that she's had to do it. Despite all our positive reinforcement and conversations about taking part, blah di blah di blah... And I thought we were finally done with it (for her) when she left primary last year. But no...

She is active, gets movement and exercise in ways she enjoys, btw. So it's not about that. But it really hacks me off. No one is making kids do maths or art or science competitively and in public. So why is it ok to make them do this for sport?

Btw - I have a younger DC who is super sporty and fast. But they also hate sports day (finds it really stressful and gets very nervous).

Why do schools do this? Why is it ok to do this for sport but not other subjects? It's just bloody mean to unsporty/ uncoordinated kids...

My kids high school is super chilled about sports day. They have to pick a minimum of two things. Then they kind of have stations where kids rotate around so no one is watching as such. As there's usually a bbq and ice cream truck afterwards

What kind of sports day is it? Our secondary school have an all school day event. And you can either put into an event (usually PE teachers already know the runners etc) No one is forced, you cheer your house on. Wear house colours it’s much more of a fun day.
The most my eldest did was the run and jump into the sandpit one! My other is a runner so will do the sprint race. But no one is forced to take part in an activity but part of the celebrations.

I hated sports day as i hated athletics. At my secondary school we all had to do one event and we spent most of the day spectating. I would rather have spent the time in the back garden. I loved swimming. Yet my high school didn't do swimming.

That really isn't true. She doesn't 'shine' at any sport. Plenty of people don't. I certainly wouldn't have done well in any form of sporting event at her age, even in the sports I was a bit less crap at.

And her school doesn't have any of the competitions you describe in academic/ arts subjects. And no photos of 'top scorers' or anything like that. So in DD's school, sports day is out of line with how they approach other subjects (public display, competition, compulsory)

I wouldn't have minded stuff like shot putting, javelin, long jump etc because it's one at a time and once you're done you don't have to think about it.

But nooo, in my secondary school it was running, running and more running. Short legs here did not do well at running, and was always humiliatingly clapped into last place. One year I still had half the track to run, so of course everyone was then looking at me, pity cheering me on while I felt like I wanted the ground to swallow me up!

Also had PE teachers who couldn't care less about you if you weren't sporty, and one who actively hated you if you weren't in her favourites.

Now, I've just come off the treadmill after a 5k, I work out for me, not against other people. Although the dreaded sports day and mums race is soon, and I'm still a short legs compared to all the leggy gazelle like mums! 😂

Why would they not do sports day at secondary? If you’re worried, contact the school and find out how they do it. Most schools try to be inclusive these days.

I don't know why I assumed they didn't do it in secondary. We didn't do it when I was at secondary (about 100 years ago!). I just thought they'd leave that nonsense behind!

I couldn’t agree more OP! In fact I was saying this to my DH just the other day.

To me, sports day is the equivalent of every child in the class being forced to audition for the lead in the school musical in front of all the other children. And just for good measure, inviting the parents to watch as well. It would obviously never happen, so why some schools seem to think it’s ok to do this for sports is beyond me!

DD1’s school is very good at sports - it’s their “thing” and they put a lot of emphasis on competitive sports. Personally I think it’s counterproductive as it just makes the less sporty kids feel shit and like sport isn’t for them. I’ve had enough of it this year and unfortunately she’s going to be unwell on sports day…

If your DD refuses to skip it though you’re in a tough situation. I guess all you can do is write to the school and ask them to think about how they can make these events more inclusive, emphasising that sport is for everyone and is not always about turning it into a competition to decide who is “best”. They may not listen but you’ll probably feel better for saying how you feel - you might also find that the headteacher/governors are a bit more receptive than the PE teachers?

why is it not true?

I hate that negative attitude that someone must be "bad at sport". As if you've tried all physical activities in the world. It's pretty depressing if you can't find one thing you like, even if you are never going to win a gold olympic medal.

Being active is the bare minimum for being healthy? Parents encouraging their children in believing they are "not sporty" are so damaging.

And her school doesn't have any of the competitions you describe in academic/ arts subjects
I believe you, but our local schools here are non-stop , it's all over their social media! I am South East London. It's quite nice, gives all the kids a chance to have their photo shown if they care, more than if it was once a year for one Maths or Debate competition.

A lot of students love it to be fair! (Secondary teacher)

every child in the class being forced to audition for the lead in the school musical in front of all the other children.

literally what happens in Y6 in Primary school, not auditioning for the lead, but auditioning full stop. It's not optional?

I didn't say there weren't sports she liked. There are. But she doesn't 'shine' at them.

Edited to add: and we never say to her she's 'not sporty!'. We have actively encouraged her to try all and anything she's interested in. She is amazing in that she is pretty much willing to give anything a go at least once. She does martial arts (voluntarily!) and loves it. She's a really solid swimmer (although not fast). She's pretty decent at archery (but there's no opportunity for her to do this at school or locally). This really isn't about being made to do sport (as I've said repeatedly) and it's not like I'm saying she shouldn't be doing PE or Games at school. It's the compulsory, public, competitive aspect of sports day (at her school) that I think is bullshit

They may not force every child to participate, or if so pick an event some of which are less serious. Ours rarely did more than sub or cheer others on.

YANBU. I never did a sports day. I was always 'ill' with a letter from my mum.

Sometimes my mum didnt always write the letter....

Really?! That’s interesting, it would never happen at our school! Children get to choose whether or not they want a lead role and those who don’t are just in the ensemble, it’s always been that way.

I can't believe they're still doing this. When I was at school in the 70's enforced sport stopped at year 9. You still had to do something and had to choose from a list but it was a good list. I did badminton, trampolining and pool/snooker. If you wanted competitive sports you had athletics, hockey, netball etc. If you were willing to pay, you could go horse riding, ice skating, or play golf. As a sport hater it made Wednesday afternoons bearable. I am very good at pool.

I’m completely with you OP and fully understand the point you’re making! Not sure why a couple of posters don’t seem to get it.

The worst thing for me is that the forced (public) competitive element actually undermines the “being active is for everyone” message. It completely puts my DD off PE and sports because she associates it with coming last and feeling crap about herself, so she’s less likely to want to do it.

My dd’s school has a full day event with a DJ and an ice cream truck. Everyone is expected to sign up for 2 activities and they offer an equal number of running and field events. There is a house system and you can earn points by attending the add on activities - Zumba, dance class, yoga, mindfulness sessions indoors, wrestling. No one really cares if you miss your booked event and generally it’s a day to chill with your friends (pop up tents allowed) and eat ice cream while cheering for the sporty kids.

Now that sounds like fun! Sign me up for wrestling. Maybe while holding an ice-cream. Preferably with some pumping tunes in the background

they come home with homework "prepare one of the singing part" to present to the class on the stage, the same way they have to do a poster or whatever other homework.

I thought it was quite nice for everyone to do something, so no one can be teased for doing the audition.

The roles later were more on a voluntary basis -asking kids what their preference would be, but the audition definitively wasn't.

My son didn’t attend one sports day in the whole of secondary school. Missed it because of Covid for two years and then was “sick” the other years. He hates it and had a good attendance otherwise so I let him stay off.

It's the compulsory, public, competitive aspect of sports day (at her school) that I think is bullshit

gives a chance for the more sporty ones in there to shine, can't see the issue.
Not everybody can be academic, and most of the year is about compulsory competitive academic events already.

In fairness, it is true that it's usually the same kids who shine in both but everybody does have a chance.

I feel a massive period cramp coming on....

‘being active’ and ‘being sporty’ are totally different things. I am singularly unathletic, useless at competitive team games, and hated school sports day. I love yoga, powerlifting and hiking, but you don’t get to do much of those on a school sports day. I’d argue that if anything, sports day puts kids off being active because it gives the sense that only team sports or track and field events ‘count’.

That sounds very different to making them all sing a solo then ranking them from best to worst.