Saying no a playdate

181 replies

Youbutterbelieve · 03/06/2025 10:29

DC2(6) has made a friend in her new school. Kid seems fine, she's coming over for a play tomorrow after much nagging by DD.

I think at some point we'll get an invite back but I absolutely do not want DD going over to their house. DD does have playdates with other friends at their houses and I'm not a helicopter mum but I really don't feel this home is one I'd want DD in.

How do I say no? I don't want to offend the mum or cause issues with DD friendship.

OP posts:

coxesorangepippin · 04/06/2025 20:52

God talk about splitting feathers with the op over nothing! My life

Good luck op

Loveshark25 · 04/06/2025 21:45

Is it normal to feel unsettled nervous unsure when thinking of selling a house downsizing ..never sold and brought b4 ..love my home but diff in money needed to retire on...thanks

Ddakji · 04/06/2025 21:56

Loveshark25 · 04/06/2025 21:45

Is it normal to feel unsettled nervous unsure when thinking of selling a house downsizing ..never sold and brought b4 ..love my home but diff in money needed to retire on...thanks

Wrong thread??

Vodkamummy · 05/06/2025 08:44

Youbutterbelieve · 03/06/2025 10:45

Yeah I think this is how I'll play it. We have a dog, they don't unfortunately!

I'm concerned because the child exhibits significant signs of neglect (I've mentioned to school, school are already on it)- she's dirty and smelly, when I've collected the child previously she's been playing unsupervised on the street and the mum hasn't cared that I've collected her, or even answered the door when I knocked on. When I've dropped the child home I've walked her to the door but no adult has opened the door or greeted her/ me but there's been a fog of smoke - both cigarettes and cannabis and a large number of adults in and out of the house when ever I've driven past (the house is on a main route we take out of the village).

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I really wouldn't worry about a reciprocal invite, it sounds like she doesn't want to look after her own child, I doubt she'd want another in the mix.

Swiftie1878 · 05/06/2025 08:48

JellyAnd · 03/06/2025 10:38

Assuming you have a very good reason for this then if you get an invite back, and you might not, then just say DD’s going through a shy phase and is funny about going to others houses unless she knows the family really well or something. Make it sound like it’s a DD issue not an issue you have with them. But really I wouldn’t have invited the girl in the first place if I wasn’t going to allow a reciprocal invite.

I definitely wouldn’t make it a DD issue - if other friends hear , she may get no invites to others’ homes at all!

It hasn’t happened yet, but if she’s invited just use different excuses each time - GPs are visiting, busy, whatever.

ProudMaker · 06/06/2025 11:45

Absolutely! Why invite the child in the first place,

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