Saying no a playdate

[Youbutterbelieve]

DC2(6) has made a friend in her new school. Kid seems fine, she's coming over for a play tomorrow after much nagging by DD.

I think at some point we'll get an invite back but I absolutely do not want DD going over to their house. DD does have playdates with other friends at their houses and I'm not a helicopter mum but I really don't feel this home is one I'd want DD in.

How do I say no? I don't want to offend the mum or cause issues with DD friendship.

You are aware of cannabis smoking
you are a social worker
you haven’t reported to the police?

If I reported every whiff of cannabis in some of the places in around I’d never be off the phone. She’s not there in a social work role so without some other risk factor I’d leave well alone.

Because they yelled at the child when they arrived home "is that you Sophie?" sort of thing.

Is this a private school?

Probably worried that police

although they shouldn’t be as no one seems to be doing anything to make this child’s life any better

No I haven't reported to the police. It's not required, or even advised. Cannabis smoking in a private dwelling isn't a reportable issue to either police or social services.

No. Just an unpopular local state primary.

Around a child?

Yep.

Heavens op

bloody disturbing you don’t know the law

https://moderngov.sutton.gov.uk/documents/s74735/Update%20from%20the%20Safer%20Neighbourhood%20Team%20-%20slides.pdf

Is it legal for people to smoke cannabis if it’s in their own home?
Simply, no. Cannabis, marijuana or weed is classified as a Class B drug, putting it in the same category as ketamine and
amphetamine. Just because someone is using the drug within their own premises doesn’t make it legal.
The pungent, slightly floral smell of someone smoking cannabis is often hard to disguise and most people won’t want
the stench creeping over into their gardens or homes.

you are a social worker and you didn’t know this?

A separate thread is how a SW thinks that legal to smoke cannabis in private dwelling and so won’t report to police knowing a very young child in living in said private dwelling

I do know the law. But the law and what actually happens/ what police actually do are two different things.

I also work closely with the local police and by itself cannabis smoking isn't something they want to know about or will do anything about.

So now it is illegal

YOU said it was legal.

I don't think it's legal.

I think I'm not required to report it. Which is correct.

If a social worker reported an illegal activity in a private dwelling where a child is… it would be taken seriously

however less that two mins ago you thought it was legal!!

Cannabis smoking in a private dwelling isn't a reportable issue to either police or social services.

oh dear

op, it is illegal
therefore is is “reportable”

dear god

No. I said "it isn't a reportable issue".

I said 0 about the legality of it.

I had a similar situation and pulled out tons of excuses.

Oh no, you've got enough on. They can come here.
My daughter's really shy and gets anxious if she's anywhere without me.
My other DC love it when someone comes to play.

That sort of thing.

oh so now you’re talking about what you’re “required” to so

Rather than fact you know something illegal is happening in a private home where a child is… and thinking “you know what even though I’m not “required” to report this, I’m going to haul my ass and report it”

There is no legal requirement for someone to report it.

Do you report cannabis smoking every time you see or smell it? I'd be constantly reporting it if that was the case.

You said it was not a reportable issue

of course an illegal activity is a reportable issue

whether you choose to report or not is a separate matter

sadly you’re choosing not to, although god knows why

Yeah I think that's a good idea.

So as a parent and a SW FGS you’re benchmark is “legal requirement” before reporting an illegal offence where a child is living?

depressing

Because the safeguarding concerns were the primary issue and I have reported those in the appropriate ways.

A call to the police about people smoking cannabis would do absolutely nothing, where what I actually have done will do more for the child.