Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

[Kittycat02]

I’ve just found out we are expecting, and have had an early scan (8weeks). My brother gets married in 2 weeks time, so I want to announce it now so that I don’t have to pretend to drink at the wedding. It’s only a small wedding with parents and siblings so I was going to announce it to the people who will be at the wedding as they are my close family and I know how excited they are going to be!
AIBU to announce it before his wedding or should I wait until afterwards?

Just walk around with a glass of prosecco in your hand, noone will notice if you're drinking it or not. You could even discretely ask for an alcohol free prosecco behind the bar so you can take sips if people will be suspicious (they would be for me as I was a bit of a social drinker)

I agree that you shouldn't announce it, there's been loads of great suggestions to excuse being alcohol free or fake having a drink, 8/10 weeks is pretty easy to keep under wraps. Have a lovely time OP. Xx

Exactly. I’m a drinker and nobody noticed when I wasn’t drinking because I simply didn’t make a big deal and declare it. Just drink lemonade in a gin glass and tell your husband to order you a soft drink even if you “ask” for a G&T. People aren’t exactly going to be closely monitoring you unless you make a big deal of it, no need for some big attention seeking announcement about not drinking.

It would be very crass to announce your pregnancy two weeks before your brother’s wedding.

Announcing at 8 weeks just before a wedding will completely look like your trying to overshadow their wedding.

Just send your dh up for gin and tonics or vodka and cokes. He will know not to order the booze.

Just drive to the wedding, and there's your excuse!
I'll be driving to a wedding soon - but, at 60 I'm not pregnant, and people perfectly understand that drinking and driving is a no-no.

Do not announce this before the wedding as it would be really rude and look like your trying to steal the limelight! No one will take notice of you not drinking unless you try to make a big deal of it and will be rightly focusing on the bride and groom

I'd have been majorly pissed if my sibling done this 2 weeks before my wedding especially as you say 'everyone will be excited for you'

Don’t spoil their day by making it about you and your pregnancy. Wait until afterwards.

Do not say a word. Wait until 12 weeks. Get a big glass of soda water ice and lemon to sip. If anyone asks (which honestly would be weird) say it’s g&t. Congratulations.

I agree with the previous poster who said it's precious to care about this sort of thing. It won't take anything away from their day if people know you are pregnant. You can actually have two happy family events that happen around the same time, with neither overshadowing the other. I wouldn't have minded if someone announced their pregnancy around my wedding.

Then again, we never did big announcements or reveals. Just mentioned it and got on with our day.

It’s perfectly easy to hide not drinking. Plenty of women have done it before.
If you announce now, that’ll probably go down like a shit sandwich.

I'd tell your brother and SIL now. But no one else. Simply so they are prepared in case the armchair detectives put 2 and 2 together and realise you are looking peaky or that glass of wine doesn't seem to be going down or you've turned down the shots your family always does or just simply interrogating you as women must want to have babies.

(That is how people found out about my second... I didn't say anything they guessed what my illness was!)

My sil announced her pregnancy at my dds birthday party and it was all anyone talked about the whole afternoon. I've never forgiven her 🤣🤣

I think it's more that it's too early to let everyone know.

I think having people guess/make comments at the wedding would be worse than just telling them now.

But either way, I don't really understand the 'stealing the attention' thing anyway.

I think because the announcement is so early it does look a little like muscling in. Normally people wouldn’t tell family this early, as it is still pretty risky. The fact they are going against convention to make an early announcement feels intentional. If the wedding wasn’t there, would they tell people? Probably not.

It’s precious to care about this sort of thing.

Perhaps, But many people DO care.

Is it really worth finding out that your brother and new sister-in-law do care about this sort of thing, and risk of upsetting them? Just for the sake of waiting two weeks before announcing a pregnancy?

I don’t think it’s worth it.

Don’t most people wait until the 12 week scan before announcing a pregnancy?

Go and talk to your brother and the bride. Tell them the situation and what you're thinking, but that you're happy to wait till after their wedding if they want so you don't steal their thunder.

Job done, everyone happy

Congratulations! I wouldn’t announce anything until I have had at least the 12w scan to know all is fine.

I never did. I told people straight away. I didn't feel the need to hide any pregnancy losses though and was comfortable sharing if that happened, so felt no need to wait.

I agree, a family member’s pregnancy is completely separate to a wedding. I think you are ok OP. At only 8 weeks I’d only tell family personally.

Unfortunately I had a MC at 12 weeks and then attended a family wedding a few days later. MIL had been asked not to tell anyone I was pg but clearly had as lots of people came to congratulate me. I had a quiet cry in the toilets and was then accused of "attention seeking"
Its not hard to not drink but look like you are, take a sip and hang onto the same glass for ages or get a "gin and tonic" without the gin

I'd try and not announce it too.

Unless drinking in your family is a big thing, it's likely that no-one will say anything if you aren't. It's really not as big of a deal as it used to be.

We had a works night out a couple of weeks ago, all paid for by the company, and barely anyone drunk! I think there were 2 bottles of wine between 15 people!

In a social setting I prefer to not drink nowadays so I can chat to people.

The alcohol free drinks are pretty good nowadays as well, so you could have a G&T or beer without any alcohol in them.

Don’t announce it, tell your brother quietly. If you’re worried about the drinking thing just make something up like you’re on antibiotics so can’t.

Do not announce. People may guess if you’re not drinking anyway but keep it quiet till after their wedding. it’s not long to wait.

Many congratulations!

We did this, no-one will be watching you that clearly tbh and it works well. making up stories about antibiotics only draws attention to you not drinking.

Congratulations though!