Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

[Kittycat02]

I’ve just found out we are expecting, and have had an early scan (8weeks). My brother gets married in 2 weeks time, so I want to announce it now so that I don’t have to pretend to drink at the wedding. It’s only a small wedding with parents and siblings so I was going to announce it to the people who will be at the wedding as they are my close family and I know how excited they are going to be!
AIBU to announce it before his wedding or should I wait until afterwards?

At every wedding I have been to, the extent to which people talk about the wedding while they're at it are:
'Isn't her dress beautiful?'
'Ah, lovely to see them so happy'
'Christ, are they still having photos taken?'
And some comments about the food.

I think I've probably spent more time at weddings discussing how much feet hurt than the bride and groom 😂

Sorry for your loss.

Me either. Other people's lives don't stop because I'm having a wedding.

See it wouldn't bother me. But I know the woman in question was upset as they had their first scan then announced all over fb and to the brides parents etc.

When I got married I couldn't care less about anyone else's news as I was just interested in getting married. I'd be happy they shared their news.

But then everyone is different.

I found out I was pregnant just before my cousins wedding. I had a sip out of a glass of champagne and had water with my meal. One of my other cousins noticed and asked why I wasn’t drinking and I just said I wanted to enjoy the day without a hangover the next day - she didn’t believe me but it stopped the attention being pulled away from the happy couple

You shouldn't tell anyone until 12 weeks (or buy anything) wedding or not.

Only if that's what's right for you. Anyone is entirely welcome to tell whoever they want, whenever they want. For some if us that's pretty much as soon as we know. For some it's 20 weeks. There's no "should" in it.

But why? It’s not tempting fate if say your mum knows you’re expecting. That’s seems like magical thinking and superstition. Talking about being pregnant with close trusted people doesn’t end your pregnancy. I’ve had 2 babies and 2 miscarriages. Nothing I said made one pregnancy work and other one not progress. (Do agree with you about shopping for the baby - that’s just silly)

Wait until after. If you want say you on antibiotics but honestly people won't notice or care. Enjoy the wedding

i lost a baby at 9 weeks… probably just wait until 12 weeks…

I know it’s exciting but 8 weeks is really early to tell anyone.

It isn't for everyone. It's fine to tell people wheneve you're happy to.

For me 8 weeks is late to tell family.

Don't announce it. You risk a serious falling out with your DB for the sake of a couple of weeks.

I went to a wedding pregnant, before we'd told anyone, and got through it by both DP and I having matching glasses on the go - we just made sure to put them down next to each other, and DP always picked up the fuller one. So he drank both and I drank none, no one noticed. (I faked sipping for the actual toasts)

Then I was driving, and 'couldn't have any more' for the rest of the evening.

@DappledThings great for you.

I've had 4 miscarriages around 8 weeks so I didn't tell any of my family until the first midwife appointment. We've all had different experiences

Exactly. Which is why telling people with certainty it's too early isn't reasonable. It's not a universal fit. For many women it is, for many it isn't and nobody should he prescribing when it too early or not to anyone else.

Thank you - it was over 10 years ago now, but still gives me a little pang when I think about it.

I think it’s often what the bride will perceive might happen rather than what will happen..
Lots may feel it will ‘steal their thunder’… doesn’t mean it actually will of course. Brides can be very sensitive after a year of planning and want the day to be perfect.
I didn’t care personally. As long as I was married at the end of it 😂

I disagree with this. I told my parents the day I found out I was pregnant.
It was too joyous an occasion not to share with them straight away.

Similar here. It will be 10 years this summer since mine. I was extremely lucky to go on to have another child at the grand old age of 43. Don’t know where I’d be otherwise.

You simply cannot state that as fact

Who says?!

No-one is seriously going to take that as fact though. It’s obviously the pp’s opinion on an opinion forum. A bit like saying ‘5am is early to get up in the morning’. Many would agree, some won’t, but there isn’t really any need to add ‘in my opinion’ because it’s obviously an opinion, albeit in both cases a fairly uncontroversial one.

Wait and just say you’re on antibiotics

Sorry but announcing your pregnancy two weeks before your brother’s wedding is a total no-go. Let the happy couple have their day in the limelight. Tell people you have a UTI if anyone asks. It will also explain why you’ll probably be constantly at the toilet, which was the giveaway for my pal when she was pregnant but hadn’t announced it at that point.

You can drink with most anti biotics now

Really using that as an excuse you'd be as well wearing an im pregnant t shirt 😂