Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

[Kittycat02]

I’ve just found out we are expecting, and have had an early scan (8weeks). My brother gets married in 2 weeks time, so I want to announce it now so that I don’t have to pretend to drink at the wedding. It’s only a small wedding with parents and siblings so I was going to announce it to the people who will be at the wedding as they are my close family and I know how excited they are going to be!
AIBU to announce it before his wedding or should I wait until afterwards?

I’d wait partly because it’s only 8 weeks. Better to wait until 12 weeks surely?

I know my brothers wouldn’t mind but everyone’s different, plus I don’t know what their girlfriends would be like.

Wait until after the wedding.

I drank tonic water (I usually drink G&T) and appletise when I was pregnant and pre-telling people.

I'm 6 months pregnant and still haven't told everyone lol. Too many weddings this year, I haven't had chance. (That last sentence was a joke :) I'm anxious about it and don't like the attention)

Yep definitely say this. That's if you want to telegraph it as clearly as possible that you're actually pregnant and actively trying to conceal it

Obviously don't do this, if anyone asks you say you've got a UTI and you're on antibiotics.

People might guess, but at least you've made an effort not to take the limelight.

If you want until after the wedding you will get all the happy congratulations and none of the aggro.

What, by saying nothing and then claiming antibiotics if someone asks why you're not drinking?

No don’t announce before the wedding.
It’s the happy couples day and people will naturally want to talk about the baby.
it wouldn’t be right or fair

Many babies are lost after then.

There are actually notable drops in risk of spontaneous miscarriage at around 8 weeks and around 14 weeks. 12 weeks has never had anything to do with it.

Although by your logic I shouldn’t be able to tell anyone I’m pregnant until past 23 weeks as I’ve lost babies then (even though it’s a legal requirement to tell my employer at 24)

I think my everyone was just telling the parents and mentioning it to friends I happened to see around that time. I never did 'announcements'. So can well see how you might not have told everyone yet. I bumped into people I knew occasionally with a new baby in a mall and they hadn't even known I was pregnant.

A nice sister would wait an extra 3 odd weeks and just let her brother have his day. Otherwise the small gathering will half be about his wedding and half your new news, but you already know this which is why you are trying to get permission here to just do it anyway.

A tiny bit of blackcurrent in a gin glass with lemonade and all the fruit and ice like a normal gin is my suggestion. Looks like one of the flavoured gins you can get. I did that during dry jan so I didn’t feel left out whilst out…. Different reason but still helped.

Firstly, I am very pleased for you that you are expecting your first, so, many congratulations @Kittycat02

But regardless of the wedding, 8 weeks is really too early to tell people, in my view. So many things can go wrong in the early days of a pregnancy, which is why most people wait until the 12 weeks scan, 'just in case'. It's really hard on the couple concerned, to tell people that they already told you were pregnant, that actually, you aren't any more.

Just wait would be my advice. That way, you are protecting yourself as well as not running any risk of possibly taking the spotlight away from the Bride and Groom AT ALL. Although I personally wouldn't feel like that if I was them, I understand that is how some Bridal couples would see it.

Metronidazole is an antibiotic which comes with very, very, strong warnings not to drink alcohol while on it, or it could make you very ill and it is prescribed for various things. I am prescribed it occasionally for digestive issues, so I don't agree with people here who say people will know if you say you are on Antibiotics, that you are pregnant. But PPs have given you lots of suggestions as to how to disguise the fact that you aren't drinking alcohol as well.

Enjoy the wedding and hope all goes well for the future, with your baby

I would always have wanted people to know my baby had existed. It mightn't mean much to them but it means a lot to me to acknowledge that child had been.

Yep. Antibiotics screams " secretly pregnant"

It does happen that people need to take antibiotics. I have just finished a course of antibiotics and didn't drink. And I'm not pregnant.

Judging by this thread, if you told anyone you were on antibiotics they probably think you are pregnant.

Seriously, you are really c.5 weeks pregnant. You are excited but announcing it before DB's wedding takes the shine off his and his wife's day. Keep it quiet and drink lime and soda or lemon and lime - ask for them in a nice glass that might be a g and t and hang on to it.

tbf I do look pregnant. Even though I am well past childbearing age.

It does. But it's also such an overused excuse for not just telling people youre pregnant that it now comes with that assumption.

I'm in my 70's!! Don't think anyone would suspect I was pregnant somehow!! And I couldn't drink AT ALL a couple of Christmases ago, on a very expensive package Christmas break, when lots was included in the cost of the package! As I said in an earlier post, it was metronidazole and you just don't even try to drink while taking it!

Then what are you supposed to say in the unlikely event that someone asks?

Obviously no-one will think that if you aren't of childbearing years.

Not just this thread. It’s pretty much the same level of cliched and almost certainly untrue ‘excuse’ as explaining a break up being ‘mutual’.

I just can't imagine caring that someone else dared to be pregnant at my wedding. The world doesn't stop for your "magical" day. 🤮🤮

20 years married and the wedding was just one day, certainly not the most important one. If it is you're doing marriage wrong and for the wrong reasons!

I'm also one of the ones who'd have actually thought it was romantic if someone had felt moved to get engaged at it, because I like my friends and want them to be happy!

Have a glass of wine in front of you during the meal and a glass of water. Pretend to take a sip or 2 of the wine. Take a small sip of the bubbles for the toast - literally just wet your lips.

If you are mingling pick up the wine glass and put it down somewhere and then if anyone offers -“ oh I have a drink but… somewhere…must have put it on auntie mary’s table”
Once the meal is over get a gin free G&T and if anyone offers you a drink ask for tonic top up as “its going to be a long day and I want to space it out” or “I just had a double so I will just have a tonic this time to top it up”.
If you make a big deal of “oooh Im not not drinking, antibiotics etc” that will raise eyebrows /gossip but if you pretend to drink it will be less noticeable.